Saturday, 29. November 2008, 08:48:59
life, Funny, story, Love
A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"
He lost 63 pounds that week.
(Thanks Barbie)
Saturday, 29. November 2008, 08:46:52
Funny, story, Love
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He sveered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree. His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but he was stuck.
"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied.
The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.
"You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.
So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver.
Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.
"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies: "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"
(Thanks Madison)
Wednesday, 9. January 2008, 16:05:55
M2M, music
M2M
Title: The Day You Went Away
Album: Shades Of Purple
VERSE 1
Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
PRE-CHORUS 1
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do
CHORUS
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
VERSE 2
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces
PRE-CHORUS 2
And we were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know
CHORUS
The day you went away
The day you went away
PRE-CHORUS 1
CHORUS
BRIDGE
Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
The day you went away
The day you went away
Sunday, 30. December 2007, 04:27:04
Love, story, Funny
(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can u take my helmet off and put it on? It’s bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke,
but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt
her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it
meant he would die.
Sunday, 30. December 2007, 04:18:35
Funny, story, Love
A man will pay two-dollars for a one-dollar item he needs, but a woman will pay one-dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about her future until she finds a husband, but a man never worries about the future until he takes a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend, but a successful woman is one who can find such a man!!!
Sunday, 30. December 2007, 04:15:32
Funny, story, Love
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
" I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped. "You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"
Thursday, 27. December 2007, 16:36:31
Aqua, music, life
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?
If you were my King...
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?
My oh my,do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?
Little princess in a terrible mess
A kingdom alone, but no love to confess
Dreams of a prince on a tall white horse
Runs like a spirit by the castle walls
Gotta steal from the rich when they don't know I'm comin'
Gotta give to the poor, no time for lovin'
My oh my, don't you cry, 'cause there's no way I'm stayin'
I will leave, say \"bye bye\", I'm going my way...
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?
If you were my King, I would be your queen...
If you were my King, I would be your queen...
Mystery deep in the royal heart
Crying at night, I wanna be apart
Prince, oh prince, are you really sincere?
Bet you one day you're gonna disappear
Gotta steal from the rich when they don't know I'm comin'
Gotta give to the poor, no time for lovin'
My oh my, don't you cry, 'cause there's no way I'm stayin'
I will leave, say \"bye bye\", I'm going my way...
My oh my... Ohh
My oh my... Ohh
My oh my... Ohh
MY OH MY!
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?
If you were my King, I would be your queen...
If you were my King, I would be your queen...
Friday, 21. December 2007, 16:39:28
trademark, music, only love
2 A.M. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're tellin me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say - Try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough - If we learn to trust
CHORUS
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd givve our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye
WIDGETIZE