First Bolg

- People usually say that “ every family has a situation, nobody has the same with each other”.

- When you see any family, Are you sure that family’s realy life is true with what you met?. And the best answer is “ it depends”. And I’ll be a common example for this answer.

- There are many people in my family, and I’m youngest. It’s similar other families, my parents love us very very much. But each parents has different ways to love, and my parents love us by their ways.
- However, in my mind I only get my papa’s love, b/c mama has some things which I can’t understand, even sometimes I wondered if she love me???
- I know that anymother loves their children, but how I can’t think about some things that every time mama angries without reason and some words she make me pain.
- I can’t stand my mother’s sentences , it makes me worry, scare, anything else. It also makes me find that a mother image in my mind to dim.
- From that time to now, I always do everything folow her ideas. I never make anything which mama hates, even that’s my hobbies. 
- Mama likes a simple girl, graceful, kind, and not luxury that mean a real good girl.
- I got it so I never buy any clothes that she don’t like, don’t imitative like my friends, don’t play on the strees, don’t go out over 10pm, behave with everyone politely, don’t make something which a girl shouldn’t , and so on … .

- One day, I wanted to have a wave and dye my hair, I asked my mother and she said “ I dislike it”, so I gave up it. In other hand, I did it b/c I think about one day when I go to my friend’s home, and how my friend’s parents think about the girl with this hair. Therefore, I’m not sad about that decided (it’s also consolation )
- I tried my best to make mama to be more happy. However, she hasn’t still satisfied about that. I’m only a normal girl like other girl, I also have some faults which I shouldn’t have, but my mother maybe don’t understand me a bit.

- As you know, when a girl has some problems in their life, they usually share it with their mother. And mother can help them to pass all. How about me??? I’ve never done it. It’s not I don’t want to do, b/c I can’t, I can’t really. My mother doesn’t like others, she will angry after that.
- I seldom share anything with mama. Maybe I say about some things which are my experience in life in order to mama hasn’t to worry, but It’s not usually.
- Besides, I seldom talk to my mother , special my private stories. I can’t also share with my friends. So it’s my secret forever. A life of the introverted person…

- Mama is always a topic which make me sad.

- How about my brothers. In my memories, they are not exist. I remembered that when I was young, my brothers wasn’t interested in me. That day, they like a girl _ who had the same age to me _ in the place they work. Every time they went out, they usually took her to go with them. They considered her like their young sister, not me. I was very sad that time but I didn’t say anything, just keep silence, and I grew up with my sister love, only sister…
- I have a sister who really loves me, she’ve given all best things to me. I loves her, too.  That’s my only consolation , and an youngest brother, he loves me too.
- And now, my sister got marriage, she had a daughter. Her daughter is so cute, I love her like her mother loved me.
- However, my youngest brother’s more and more alienated from me, maybe I lack brother’s love, therefore I usually call my friends who always interested in and take care of me are brothers.

- All thing above are my true family.
- So, in order to I can be happy everyday, I usually create for myself a strong cover to cover the sadness inside. When someone meet me and the first thing they think about is maybe I have a happy family.

- All of them make me realize that why I’m always sad.

- This is my secret and I’ve talk about that before. B/c I don’t want people to know about my life. And special anybody takes pity on me. So let your thinking in to recycle bin