Trip Hazard
Monday, 28. September 2009, 18:43:39
Guess what i did today? I tripped over! *ba boom tish* (geddit? with my surname and...stuff?)
I like living up to my surname. It has become renouned that i am the most clumsy person to ever have lived. I must hit a part of my body, specifically my head, every day. At least. When i'm at work i definitely hit my head at least once. And usually on the same thing...
"Who put that shelf there?!
It's been there 20 years? 
Well...Whatever!"
I always think the best ones are when i put something somewhere, THEN trip over it/knock it onto myself. Best example - i'm at work and i've just used a broom. I hang it up, but the head is slightly over-lapping the door. I look and think...hmmm that looks potentially dangerous, i must move that...right after i've gone in through this door....OWW!
Anyway, back to the tripping at hand...for visual purposes i feel exactly like this ironic sign...
How did it happen i hear you cry?! 
I was on site looking for reptiles, walking along the same path i take eeeveryday...but then my foot obviously got stuck on something and i just went over like a tree. TIMMMMBEEER! A part of my brain was thinking (i had time to think cause you always fall in slow-motion) "why isn't my foot even attempting to save me"...it just didn't budge and i went THUD! 
and in an attempt to stop my face from eating dirt i looked up and in return got a nice big jolt through my neck into my head. 
Owwy is an understatement! I feel like shizz! I shoulda taken the face plant and probably saved myself the dizzyness and the swimming head. I presume this is what normal people call concussion/whiplash, but i am major hyponcondriac so to me this is brain damage 
. I should point out that i didn't actually hit my head 
, yet i still think this cause i'm clearly deranged (this was true before the fall as well). Anyway i'm kinda rambling on now, but thats probably to ensure i get sympathy and reassurance that i'm not gonna die so i stop googling my symptoms. I noticed there isn't much info on neck/head jolts associated with falling over and decided this is probably because normal people don't require the knowledge that they simply feel over and the shock is gonna hurt so get over it! 
So i've taken some painkillers and will be taking my Almond Magnum later, cause Almond Magnums willmake me a pig solve eeeeverything!
P.S. I know i said yesterday i would post something interesting so here it is...
Q: What kind of cheese can hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone
...oh you love it, don't lie!
"Who put that shelf there?!
It's been there 20 years? Well...Whatever!"I always think the best ones are when i put something somewhere, THEN trip over it/knock it onto myself. Best example - i'm at work and i've just used a broom. I hang it up, but the head is slightly over-lapping the door. I look and think...hmmm that looks potentially dangerous, i must move that...right after i've gone in through this door....OWW!
Anyway, back to the tripping at hand...for visual purposes i feel exactly like this ironic sign...
How did it happen i hear you cry?! I was on site looking for reptiles, walking along the same path i take eeeveryday...but then my foot obviously got stuck on something and i just went over like a tree. TIMMMMBEEER! A part of my brain was thinking (i had time to think cause you always fall in slow-motion) "why isn't my foot even attempting to save me"...it just didn't budge and i went THUD! and in an attempt to stop my face from eating dirt i looked up and in return got a nice big jolt through my neck into my head. Owwy is an understatement! I feel like shizz! I shoulda taken the face plant and probably saved myself the dizzyness and the swimming head. I presume this is what normal people call concussion/whiplash, but i am major hyponcondriac so to me this is brain damage . I should point out that i didn't actually hit my head , yet i still think this cause i'm clearly deranged (this was true before the fall as well). Anyway i'm kinda rambling on now, but thats probably to ensure i get sympathy and reassurance that i'm not gonna die so i stop googling my symptoms. I noticed there isn't much info on neck/head jolts associated with falling over and decided this is probably because normal people don't require the knowledge that they simply feel over and the shock is gonna hurt so get over it!
So i've taken some painkillers and will be taking my Almond Magnum later, cause Almond Magnums will
P.S. I know i said yesterday i would post something interesting so here it is...
Q: What kind of cheese can hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone
...oh you love it, don't lie!
WIDGETIZE
Hermitess # 28. September 2009, 18:52
Oh, and my deepest sympathies! you should rest for at least a week! Manservants should bring you things to eat and rub your head.
I'd like to challenge your clumsiest person ever claim. Oh yeah, I'm throwing down the gaunlet!
ShallowMuse # 28. September 2009, 19:02
DO NOT GO NEAR GOOGLE when you think somethings wrong! it is the worst thing ever! it had me thinking i had cancer once!
Hermitess # 28. September 2009, 19:08
ShallowMuse # 28. September 2009, 19:16
Lu # 28. September 2009, 19:46
Oh and a gaunlet is thrown is it??! Why tell me, what is your clumsiest claim? I bet i can beat it!
Hermitess # 28. September 2009, 20:39
Whai wood you thank we have a twaang inn our wurds? Not awhl of us, just thowse of us from suthurn areuhs. Gwash stop steriootypin'
Clumsiest claim? that's tough.
Just in the past week I have slipped in the shower and bruised my leg; run into the door frame; run into the butcher block, desk, and table (more bruises); tripped over the dogs and *almost* fell (caught myself yay!); stubbed my toe on the doorframe; dropped various items; cut my hands (blood, aahh!) two different times while cooking; stumbled over air (yes AIR); and I have a bruise on my arm that I can't remember why I have it (bad short term memory).
As for the worst clumsy moment that may have to be while my husband and I were dating. We were kind of chasing each other around and I ran out of his room, through the little hall into the kitchen. There I stepped on the rug, which slid across the floor (with me balanced on one leg) face first into the glass back door. Naturally his mother saw the whole thing. She was laughing so hard she couldn't even ask me if I was ok. So much for impressing the future in-laws!
Gavin Sheedy # 28. September 2009, 20:59
I'm pretty damn clumsy too. My ex thought that it was because I wasn't allowed out to play with the other kids when I was young(er). Could have had something.
kirsten # 28. September 2009, 21:15
Henry # 29. September 2009, 00:37
Lu # 29. September 2009, 10:54
Hermitess # 29. September 2009, 14:23
I have not broken anything.
Ok ok I bow down to you the great clumsy Lu!
I forgot to tell you I rolled off the bed in my sleep a couple of weeks ago.
Lu # 29. September 2009, 17:41
Hermitess # 30. September 2009, 06:22
Gavin Sheedy # 30. September 2009, 14:41
ShallowMuse # 30. September 2009, 15:10
Gavin Sheedy # 30. September 2009, 15:36
Hermitess # 30. September 2009, 19:26