menometrorrhagia

My thoughts from my day spent at Prometric taking step 3 of the USMLE:
@chick with the thong and slut stamp--I didn't even know there was an entrance exam for prostitutes, please tell me it's called the World Hookers Organization Required Exam.

@fetal-alcohol-syndrome-looking-guy with the expired ID--Sucks you can't take the DAT because you're license expired last week, but just being eligible to take it is a big step for someone with your congenital anomalies.

@future-frathouse-dropouts--Coming to whatever exam you had to take hungover does not make you cool. Also, you were clearly in too big a hurry this morning and forgot to pop the collars on your festively colored polos.

@NBME--Seriously, allowing me to take a couple kleenex into the exam room is not going to give me any sort of advantage. Unless you count my not having to wipe nasal discharge on Prometric's office chair as an advantage.

@Prometric branch in Dallas off Coit Rd--I know it's not cool of me, and I don't really mind this, but I have to remark on the fact that 100% of your employees are African American. It's just a little strange.

@NBME(again)--I think you guys made a mistake and gave me the "all ob-gyn, all the time" medical exam. I appreciate that you managed to sneak in a healthy amount of pediatrics questions too. I mean, it's not as if I'm never going to treat either of these populations ever again in my career or anything. Fuckers. But, hey, thanks for tossing me a bone with all of two cardiology questions out of the 350 today. That was awesome.

@WindowsVista--You suck. I hope you die in a fire. Or whatever fate would be worse than that but quicker.

@MPC Computers--If anything could suck worse than Vista, you would be it. Not only did you buy my account from Gateway without any notice, but then you lied to me about the availability of the part I needed to fix my computer. You then sent me the incorrect, absurdly expensive part, after which I had to spend a week trying to track down the salesman responsible (who was conveniently on vacation). After another week of runaround I finally got someone to agree to cancel my order, send me a FedEx label to return the worthless ass part you sent me, and refund my credit card. That all sucked. But it happened two months ago. And now you've raised your suckitude even more by charging my credit card again? You absolute cocksuckers! Luckily my credit card company is cool and they have credited the charge because it was never authorized. Of course I feel like you should owe me for the time I have had to spend dealing with your absolutely worthless customer service people trying to get to the bottom of this. You are by far, the single most incompetent group of imbeciles I have ever had the misfortune to do any sort of business with. I'd trust the fat chick with the full sleeves of snake tattoos taking the GMAT this morning with my money long before I'd ever trust you with a dime.

@College Football--Could you fucking start the season already? The biggest news in college football this week was that the Dallas Morning News Big12/Texas beat reporter resigned to work for the Orangebloods.com recruiting website. Come on, college football, I'm dying here.

@my birthday last week--Oh yeah? Well maybe by the time I've used up the "next half of my productive life" someone will have made a time machine and I'll go back in time and I WILL do all the things I said I was going to do:
Motorcycle tour through the Midwest. Backpack across Europe. Write a series of science fiction novels. Masturbate a lot.
See, I've got one off the list already.

1. New favorite band name: june bug genocide. Most of my readership will probably get the reference.


2. I need to get busy on some more afraid to fail posts as I'll run out of stockpiled posts in the next couple of weeks. I've got plenty of quotes, just no posts.

3. My computer is slowly dying. I replaced the power supply and brought it back to life once, but now it's dying in a new way. When you turn it off, the next time you push the power switch it will power up but not necessarily do anything. As in the monitor doesn't register that the CPU is doing anything. Sometimes it will make it to the BIOS boot screen and then die. Initially it would start the second or third time you hit the power switch, but the last time took 7 attempts. Which is why I haven't turned it off for a week.
This is also why I just bought a computer with the exact same specs as my current machine (sort of) for $280 ($380 w/$100 mail-in rebate). Pretty sweet deal, I think. Problem is my current system is still probably better b/c it has more room for upgrades. I can't add any more RAM to the system I just bought. It also has fewer USB ports. The biggest drawback, however, is that it will come with Windows Vista. This means that the fast XP computer specs I'm used to will give me a sluggish Vista computer. I could downgrade, but that seems more complicated than it sounds what with trying to find all the right drivers for XP for this motherboard. My hope is I'll just be able to disable most of the useless, but resource-gobbling features of Vista to maintain adequate speed.

4. I have a very odd relationship with my mom.

5. Not that this makes me unique in any way.

6. I like this song:



7. But I'm not gay.

8. All right. I'm off to ruin my eyes studying visual pathways by candlelight. Because that's how they did it old-school! And by God, if it was good enough for Dr. Rosenberg, it's good enough for me.

It's for this open source software company. Still need to add the little indicator for the gauge.

Oh yeah, I'm a neurologist now.

If you want a pretty good idea about how the worst moments of my internship have felt, go to about the 45 minute mark (44:56 if you're anal) and watch the rant that David Morse delivers. (Watch the whole episode if you want to confirm that Howie Mandel sucks or wonder aloud -- not for the first time -- how Denzel's wooden acting made him a star.)


P.S. I love HULU.com. Yeah there are commercials, but there are also complete seasons of Firefly and the A-Team. That's right. A. Team.

Seriously, the people I work with are highly educated. You'd think they would know that "regime" and "regimen" are not the same word. They, in fact, have very distinct meanings. This is evident by the fact that putting someone on a particular medication "regimen" makes sense, but having them on a drug "regime" makes no sense unless you are deporting them to Columbia for they're role in international drug trafficking.