Set Me a Blaze: Messages to the sky

This is the only place I can be me.
If I talked this way on my other places.
What would the masses think of me.
So I keep this pace separate.

I keep my face away from this place.
I don't think I will ever show it.
That is my goal.
My plan.

I use to miss this place with grat sadness.
But now I only write in it as a means to get my emotions out.
I have no other places to turn.
I wish somehow that I was the girl I've always wanted to be.
But that wish is crazy to me.
It leaves me alone but no lover.

Should I ask for one?
What will happen if I do such a thing?

But I believe someday that maybe I will have one.
Though I am not sure about that.
I'm unsure of that in my future life.

But I want it more than anything.
I want to have a husband and a child.
That would be nice.
But maybe some part of me doesn't deserve that kind of thing?

So should I be alone for all of time?
Or should I be happy.
That is not up to me.
I cannot make a man love me.
I cannot make him want me.
So I am here.
ALone that is.