the f u dance

tease

he said
i remember this
gorgeous and untouchable
girl
in highschool
she was a goddess and
me some dirtbag
i thought
man
if i ever got the chance
to just talk to her
i know she d be all mine

i got the chance
and she coulda been all mine
but i walked away
she wasnt all that
not that virginal chaste
snow white soul

that tease
that consumed my
heart and other parts
at one point
is so
minor and forgettable

compare to this tease

that winter throws at me now
little flurries
here and there
thirty percent chance
of snow my ass
egad

i mean
getting the sky to give it up
is a helluva lot harder
that get jenny outta her tight jeans

i interjected
my
how priorities and
obsession change
with the increasing girth and grey


sorry
twelvesixten

due to tease

thirty percent
my ass
says me

i get home and pop the lid
of the old frankenbitch
connect the charger to the terminals
and plug her in

not getting caught with
my snow pants down
on another thirty percent
ever again
ever


sorry
twelvesixten

family induced

he dropped his kid off
for a sleepover
and i offered him
a new hampshire handshake
popping the lid
off the ufo mmmm heffewiesen
he started

i have been half finishing
and half starting
a boatload of projects today
all day non stop workstoppage
i d just get started and
my son walks up
i went to that website
the one you told me not to but i forgot
and the computer turned itself off

jeezemcripes

stop
go inside
not the computer
threw a breaker
whats on
too much shit obviously
split the line
twenty amps each
ok fixed that
back outside
get one nail in
one bloody nail
the girl
shes crying
some shit
fix that

i swear
all day
did i get to the dump no
did i do the oil change fuck no
did i manage to connect the whateverthefuckno

he s raving at this point

i start a
yeh me too thing
and he goes on
twice as vehement
twice as fast

hes gonna blow

then he stops
takes a huge breath
and continues
much calmer
much quieter

its really like
family induced adhd

not sure why
but laughed my beer foamy

he outta know
he works with adhd kids
six days a week


sorry
twelveeleventen

most wonderful time

he said
she ran in the door
threw her shit down
and
went nuts
for like two hours
screaming shitty shit
the whole friggin time

any of the customer interface arts
can be particularly brutal
this time of year
i remind him
and he agreed

i just wish she
wasnt so twisted
up about it all

i swear
shes gonna be
pentagramming the
dining room floor and
and sacrificing pets and shit
if this keeps up

i like the tree in the house
and the pagan stuff
and even the
sweetbabyjesus stuff too

like it was a la carte

but if its gonna drive her
stark raving nutzo
screw it
im an atheist in a heartbeat
he sighed
like he was giving up his favorite tricycle


what about channukah asks me
offering an alternative
social control based
mass religion
festive holiday option
kwanza maybe

he shoots and evil eye

i forget the verbatim of the quote

religion was born when the first rogue met the first fool




sorry
twelvefourteenten

multireligious

we get the back end of the
tractor jacked up and he lies down
on the plywood underneath
i hand him the twelve mm wrench
and he starts

you know
our kids are wicked spoiled
because we do the jew thing
and the christ thing
every year
and every year
her parents and family
and my parents and sister
have this
passive aggressive war
through my kids
to win over the
young heathen

jesus loves you more
heres a huge present for christmas
cos christmas is better
or
eight nights of presents
being a jew rocks
heres some big honking
walmart plastic chinese stuff
it gets psychotic

maybe its all
subconscious and i m
being oversensitive
but i get that
mind control vibe off this shit
and i want
everybody outta my house

how do your kids see it all
asks me

my wife and i are an ass hair off
off the agnostic frontline
the rest of it is
our families nefarious plot
we trying to make our kids
and they are little you know
impervious to such
social control in a sunday dress

then he smirks
i thought i heard a version
of judy garland singing
he starts singing
have yourself a merry little christmas

his hand flies off the torque wrench
and crashes into the cold metal
a mild swear and he continues

and she sings
when those of ours who are near to us
will be dear to us once more
and thats not how it goes
i laughed out loud
the only time the families give a rats butt
about the religion thing
is when they are in competition
with each other

sounds like regular ol religion at large to me
say me

damn skippy on that
right in my own home
for the holidays
he mutters


sorry
twelvesixteenten

ah coffee

my wife went and picked up
a new french press
quart size mind you
so we could have real coffee
i tossed
the blend of koobi flora beans
roasted by my buddy whos the
local bean guru and advisor
into the grinder and
the pent up delicious aroma releases
instantly filling my head
fumbling
like a teenage kid
trying to take off
his girlfiends bra
for the first time
i get them in the press
and pour the now boiling water
over the grindings
another wave of delicate
yet potent scent
patience
patience
and i push the plunger down
with some ancient memory
driving the process
short quick jabs
until it reaches the bottom
patience
patience
then
i pour the cup
and i see already
the little droplets of oil
sliding on top of
that chocolate brown
and steamingly luscious liquid

a sip
and i remember
that long ago time
when i made coffee this way everyday
ahhhhh
and soften back into the warming sensation
knowing at least
for a few hours
i ll be able to keep up

thanks sweetie
i tell her
i give her a kiss
shes gets right back to sipping
that delectable liquid gold

ahhhh she says


sorry
twelveseventeenten