the f u dance

inverse lottery

so
this is his tale

i was up on my porch roof
you know screwing down
some tin sheets and
i start to slip in my old workboots
whoa nelly
so i regain composure and climb down
root through the closet and
pull out my old board shoes
big wide soles lots of gription
and hump back up the ladder

things are going great
i spin to grab another sheet
and i m gonna lay it out with the last wo
just to make sure everything lines up
all neat and pretty
when
my shoe catches the roofing tile
just as i am putting all my weight down
on my foot
and i roll my ankle

ouch right

thing is i start falling
cartwheeling actually
down the slope and
zoop right off the edge

i had like a month to watch the rest of it
it took so fukkin long to actually hit the ground

on the way down im like
its ok i ll hit the grass
do a roll
and get back to work

not so fast fatboy
my heel comes down
its the only thing that hit the ground first actually
on the edge of one of the stones
in the walkway

crunch goes the heel
you know
the one without the shoe
the shoe still being on the roof
and i roll forward
the pain so white hot
i stop breathing for about three minutes

fun

so anyway
i get to the ortho after two er visits
and he tells me
get this
there is a high percentage rate of people losing their limb from this injury
what the fuk is that
great
slap a gumby wheel on the bitch then
losing my foot
awesome

yeah
so now i am junked up on oxycodone
watching the good the bad and the ugly for like the third time
wondering how life is gonna be
without a fukkin foot


yikes
sorryee
nineonetwelve

wont go down


so i popped in to see t
and his horribly disfigured ankle and leg
results of a flight off a roof
and figured he d be all ginked up
on codeine lounging about like jabba the whale

nope

aside from rearranging all of his family photos
his wife is her own team of tourists
he is developing a systematic approach
that schools should adopt
to decrease the effects
of behaviorally disordered children
from disrupting the learning environment of others
and so
that they themselves
can benefit from their education

he wants to publish

shit
i cleaned out the dog pen
and thought i was a hero


sorry
ninetwotwelve

a sign


k leaned over to me
in that wobbly drunken way
she was feeling sorry for herself again
under appreciated
under loved
under sexed
and slurred something that sounded like

you know you are fukt at work
when your boss says
cc me on all you outgoing mail

guess she takes it as a sign


sorry
ninetwotwelve

pain

he said
its amazing how pain takes away your uh
um

creativity i offer

yeah and the uh

ability to think of the right words i suggest

yeah that too


sorry nineninetwelve

paved

he is remarkably good spirits considering the life changing
ankle rearranging
brain deranging
fall from his roof

i have known him for most of my life
and i know when he is down
it was as if he finally figured out a huge lie
the edge of cuckold slicing through
his give the world the finger modus operandi

they re all lining up
he said
i expected some conspiracy theory
he s big on those

how so i ask

well k
his live in gf
is telling me shit i want to hear
and painting big ass rainbows on shit
and it still smells like shit and i know its shit
but she thinks she can slip it by me

i hadda issue with percs once upon a time
and i am watching how many oxys i eat
cos i don t wann be all fucktarded when
whatever happens to my foot finally happens
so now she s hiding them and counting them
and
like she s more concerned than me
fukt up

then j comes by
and takes a couple of shots
like its good to see you back on the planet
what the fuck is that
never broke a bone that one and yet
oh he can judge me how i should act

whoa
i couldn t say what i wanted to
i know i d wind up on that list
cripes i hope this is over soon
he s becoming unglued
despite his subjective opinion to the otherwise

pain brings out the best in addictive personalities
no doubt
but all these good intentions
are paving a nice four lane highway to his own personal hell


sorry
ninetwelvetwelve

me first

i crack my lids and look down toward the bridge
september green deep and bold
tsunamis all except
streaks of brightening blue

down by the drying brook
a maple sapling no thicker than an afterthought
screams out in fifteen or so splashes of searing red
like the bull horned bible thumper
barking at the milling heathen

a warning to you

the light at the end of the
sweaty electric turban tunnel
that is summer
for me


sorry
ninethirteentwelve