the f u dance

disney nazis

k sheepishly told
the collection
of yankee farmers
that he had
under duress
agreed to take his family to
florida

gasps all around
as most know k as a
above the mason dixon line
kinda guy
not because of the people
or the politics
purely due to the temperature
and the fact
that he is
nocturnal by nature

c pipes up
florida
wow thats bold for you

yeah k laments
we went to disney
saying it as if it were a penance come due
for all the lifetime of evils he bestowed
upon his fellow man

we stood agape
c chimed in after a long
difficult
painful
silence

well how was it

another silence

we would later find out that he was intrigued
by the social control and the brainwashing
aspects of the wonderful world
and the technology sunk into
lavish and decadent amusement
and the wholesale commercialism
and peddling of all wares disney
but
in that first awkward moment
he said

the thing that kills me
is the parents who drag their kids there
pretending to be
good parents
but then
ignoring their kids
and buying them junk
as if to say
see see i love my kid
i bought them the disney toilet seat cover
bath toy combo or
whatever the fuck it is
as they march
lockstep
from one little disney shop to the next
fukkin disney nazis
its a scary place

later he would admit
that he wished he had taken his kids earlier

huh

yeah he said
its like circumcision
if its done early
the kid forgets
but wait too long
and its something
burned into memory forever

ouch


sorry
tententen

the anti christmas

t mentioned he was stringing up
thousands of lights
and huge yard decor
for his annual halloween bash

he invited nearly the whole town

its a kind of cheesy affair really
but its over the top
with lights and skeletons
and all manner of
iconic halloween garb

jj sat staring for a bit
as if spacing out
hes a bit tight
religiously and
cant wrap his head around
this intense celebration
of a clearly pagan ritual

suddenly he spouts
whats the big draw
i mean
its just some
uncontrolled
candy gorging
kid out of control thing

and proceeds to
in a very christian way
rip into t

t waited politely
for him to finish his rant
and then said

you think its bad now
i havent even begun
in my last house
kids would be bused in minivans
to my yard and people would
line up for pictures
we d go through bags and bags
of candy every year
there were so many lights
and crud on my house
a buddy across the street
dubbed me the anti christmas
and he let loose a huge belly laugh
so infectious
we all
even jj
laughed along

it ebbed a bit
and t topped it off
with a drag off his cigarette
and a parting shot

sometimes i think
we all need a little
dress up and candy gorge
to keep us from exploding
under the stress of it all
thats all
no jesus no god no politics
just run around
and bark at the moon

and he lets out a howl

sorry
teneleventen

t s christmas

i got a call from my buddy
asking to give him a hand
i couldnt exactly tell what he needed
but went over with a pile of tools

as i drive up his driveway
there are all these signs
beware and such
orange and black
bats and cats
and little ghosties
hanging in trees
like ornaments

i pull up to the house
and t walks over
sweating like a mule
and
hands me a beer

his yard looks shaggy
with grass unmowed
and flowerbeds still
a tangle of blackened stalks
and dried leaves

theres a faux graveyard
with impressive styrofoam headstones
all with witty epitaphs
and a twenty foot inflatable ghost
keeping watch behind a
fake wrought iron fence

there are wires and light strings
and clown heads and huge skulls
inflatable pumpkin piles
strobe lights and
little speakers
all perched
waiting
for the
last day of october

the whole place
looks like
mardi gras on acid
at the moment
he says to me
but i need help
putting up this thing
he points to a pile of
huge
gleaming white
plywood bones

uh

yeah
i want to make it look like
this big ol skeleton
is leaning
against the barn

ok

we re bolting and screwing this
monster to a pre made frame and
then lag bolting it to the barn
its impressive

so
says me
how many people are showing up this year

he says
i dont know
one
or
a hundred
doesnt matter
i ll be out here
with my kids
running around like a
three year old
until the candy buzz
wears off and
i fall down exhausted

what if it rains
asks me

rained last year
didnt seem to bother anyone
we were around the fire
until two am

another beer and a handshake
and i m off down the drive
looking more carefully at
the little trinkets and doo dads
all boo and beware
till i reach the street

on the way home
i got this kiddie chill of excitement
and i said out loud

thats gonna be fun
cant wait till halloween

then the dread
i havent felt in
thirty five years

oh shit
i dont have a costume


sorry
tenfourteenten

t time

he took a drag off his cigarette
and smiled a wide smile

i love this time of year
he said pointing in every direction
just look at all the orange
ive got at least fifteen pumpkins
and the leaves
its amazing

its does wonders
for my seasonal affective disorder

hmm
thought me
orange you say

elipses

sorry
tenseventeenten

disney part two

c and i discussed the disney model

business model that is

i explained the view point of
the lack of democracy
and being expelled from the kingdom
and how the dictatorial oversight
keeps the kingdom running like a clock

but c
in his
out of the box way
explained

its better than what we call democracy
think about it
there isnt a politician
who gives a fcuk
about what i think
but disney
all they have
is their image
and whether the customer is satisfied
are the repeat customers happy
well
you dont smile youre fired
if your bathrooms not cleaned you are out
its the ultimate responsive society

i never thought of
extreme capitalism
as the ultimate democracy

but then
i guess
im new
to the whole politics
game thingy


sorry
teneighteenten

choke

he said
i hope all the
drive by
look at the leaves
fukkers
choke
on their
look im on safari
bullshit
i fukkin live here
take a drive in jersey
assholes

easy chainsaw
the extra ten cars
in our microscopic burg
isnt gonna kill ya


sorry
teneighteenten

update ten eighteen ten

wish i was up to my neck in pumpkins
said he
could not agree with him more

re emergence

im not sure kids
that do halloween now
will look back on it
the same way i do
said he to me

i mean
growing up
in suburbia
you waited for that night
for months
it was the one night
when you could run around
at night
without your parents
you were free
some little monster
on a mission

i heard that parents
take their kids to the mall
in costume
and walk the mall
stopping off in stores
that dish out coupons and
sugar free fat free taste free
candylike shit

maybe theyll remember it fondly
i mean
what the fuck else is there

i smirked

the little kid
who remembers being cut loose
to howl at the moon
reemerges from
the cocoon of
too many adult years lived

still somewhat giddy
from my last trip to
ts local halloween land
i glanced around

theres always your house for halloween
i said

you got that right boyo
says he
and leans back
laughing an theatrical evil laugh


sorry
teneighteenten

sidenote

this blogthing is relatively unknown in my parts
was outed recently about it
it kinda sux
anonymity is its own reward at times
and its freedom allows opinion to roll unhindered
i mean
i dont really give a shit
but the blend of reality vs enhanced reality
blurs with my babbled baffoonery
fuck em if they cant take a joke

sorry
teneighteenten

three hundred and sixty six more

so mike and i are setting up
the lights and the
graveyard and
his ingenious haunted tunnel
smoking a butt and
turning ten years younger
every day we do
we do walk throughs
and giggle
like little girls

so the yard is set
we have a beer
in celebration
and start talking about next year

ya know
I say
there's only
three hundred and sixty six more days
until halloween

we let out
our best
evil laughs


sorry
tenthirtyten

samhain

so the little pagans
are running about the yard
spontaneous spooks
and zombies
pop up from ersatz graveyards
strewn with painless bones

the wind died suddenly
and the fire was lit
all toasted the fair weather
after spending years in the rain
in the snow
of pre winter

mike and i talk of
gourd necklaces
and traditional triangle
jack o lantern noses

drinks are hoisted
and the dead are celebrated
as howls and screams
of children masked
hiding so the dead dont find them

after the sugar buzz
has long since gone
there will be the memory
of this autumn night


sorry
tenthirtyten

parallel spook

i chatted with a youngish dude
who was bragging about his
ass draggin
cos of halloween night

he listed off the items
he bought from walmart
and the wires and the headaches
and kept saying its all worth it
to see the kids having fun

day after our
respective hallowbashes
he whimpered
if i pick one more juice punch wrapper
or milkdud box off my lawn
i swear
i shutting the shit down for next year

whoa there says me
what about it being worth it
you know the kids

and i had heard this before
from other supposed childlike adults
he said

let them get their own fuckkin candy

really

man
i bet not one of his house plants
was watered this week
and I know
he kills goldfish

glad he doesnt have kids of his own

really
candywrappers killed the spirit of hallows eve

damn
guess i ll hafta put up twice as much
schtuff for next year

maybe widen the yard few hundred feet
hmmmm
i need more extension cable
and more black light spots
and
and
and


sorry
tenthirtyten

take down

i wandered over to ts basement door
it was open and flapping a bit
in the chilling november air

halllooo

come on down says he

hes wrapping and storing
and taking the batteries of evil life
from the screaming strobe lights
and ghoulish scary stuff
stacking lights in color order
plastic pumpkins perched
all stifled and dim
until next year

i expected him to be bummed
i mean
this was his day his gig
his panacea for all things adult

he hands me a
quote
new hampshire handshake
endquote
or what we civilians call
a beer
and instead of being miserable
because his day is done
he is cheerful
bloody cheerful

did you see that time when
jjs kid jumped out and scared marge
i was peeing
and when the gaggle of ten year olds
were chanting in the graveyard
you cant buy that shit i swear
and the time when
and
and
and

we didnt put all that much
of halloween away
really

we sat holding the revered icons
of childlike bliss
and flipped through the memory clips
of all those little orange lights
and jackolanterns
and wallowed in the power they possess

gonna be a long year this one
he said as i was leaving
and that frownsmile
that looks like it was wrought by a smithy
creaks up like a rusty gate

its like putting a pet down or
putting an old friend to rest
for him

thanks for making me six again
i say as i leave

and the real smile
slides
devilishly
across his warming face

til next year


sorry
elevenoneten

shouldve seen it
it was painful