the f u dance

humble

a friends ancient school house
of a home
burned to the ground
while twenty mile an hour
winds
blasted the two am abatement
holed up at a neighbors
everything lost

the town rallied
helped them move into
a rental farmhouse
donations of furniture
cash blankets and food
streamed in
fund raisers at the pub
everyone reached out

he stood near the barn
of new temporary home
wiped out to his soul
every thing gone

he looked at me
with eyes that said
how will i ever
pay all of this back
humbled by
the sheer slope
of obligatory returns

you dont owe anybody
anything
i said out loud
we all wanted to do this
you are our friend
and neighbor
membership has its privileges

he teared
being so strong
for so long
wore him to a nub

besides
it could have been so much worse
all this gets replaced
the things you saved you cant
you are a lucky bastard
raised beer
cheers

cheers
he said reluctantly


sorry
twotwoeleven

master

standing around the fire
the stoopid dribbles out
of a beery reveler

the difference
between a superstud
and a whore
appears to be on his mind
and he blesses us
with his knowledge of the subject


if a key opens many locks
it is a master key
if a lock gets opened by many keys
its a shitty lock

yuk yuk yuk

hmm
says me out loud
ever tell your wife that

whoa say the boys

who is the master of what again
asks me


sorry
twonineeleven

shrunk

hes generally pretty quiet
sits in the back
listens to people
would make a great poker player
nothing on his face

i asked who he was
and was told hes
a psychologist

really
i m in

so me and my buddy
sidled up next to him
and began small talk
hes a football fan
so it was easy

got around to the
so whatyado thing
and he told us
said he was a behaviorist

what can you get from
that kids behavior
i pointed to a neighbors kid
and he gave a tactful sketch
not of the kid
but of the kids parents
whom i know

he was spot on

it was creepy

shook his hand
sauntered over to our wives

my bud turns to his wife and says
hon we gotta go

why

theres a shark in the goldfish bowl

which
i learned
is a term usually
reserved as a warning
that lawyers are about

poor guy
great at what he does
treated like a leper for it


sorry
twosixteenten

premonition

he says
im banging along some
dirt road connector
trying to get home
when i get this
premonition
that a huge
chunk of ice
is gonna cut loose
and crash onto
my porch roof

it was like a flash
that i saw and
i saw the ice and the
torn plywood and shingles
and im getting the ladder

so
when i got home
he continued
i parked the truck and
walked up onto the
old porch
like ive done
thousands of times and
knew
there was something
wrong

i look up
as i did in my
whatever it was dream or
whatever and
im looking
at the torn plywood

no shit
says me
the ice slid off in this
freakish heat and

and
he went on
so i went and got the ladder


this happens to him all the time
he even voices them long before the event
and they happen

wonder if he has a bead
on what my insurance premiums
are gonna be
once my daughter starts driving


sorry
twotwentyeleven

retirement

so
im ditching the frankenbeast

this coming spring
i'm gonna dismember the plowkit
and attach it to my new truck
and itll probably take all summer
to get the thing right
but
i am done with that bitch

awww
says the boys
whatll you do all winter
whatll ya complain about
etc etc

no
bigger question
i say
how the hell are we gonna
get rid of that thing

im taking only
the most devastating
of suggestions seriously


sorry
twotwentyeleven