let me tell you about mine. Her name is ALISON and she is a total BITCH! As a friend I can be really good one, but as an enemy I can be even better. And darling when someone has something against me, I dig in to my inner mean girl and ALISON comes out to play, and truest me when I say this sweetheart, you really don't want to meet her. If you go looking for her honey, you will fine her and its not going to be pretty sweetie. And honey, if you think u know how much of an attitude I can have, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you didn't even know me when you knew me. Because my inner mean girl doesn't have a heart, just one black empty space, and you have no idea how much of a Bitch i can be when it comes to dealing with snotty spoiled little Brats who genuinely get on my nerves.
I know I use the words Sweetie, Sweetheart, Honey, and darling alot when I talk to people but when I use more that one it means That Alison is out to play but when I use Honey and Darling in one sentence and one of them was at the of it , oh girl you better run, because Alison is out for blood.
and is not that I mean to people I just tell them the true, and I just really want to see them cry.
but I'm mostly a really nice person except when u go and say or do something to get me on Alison mood. =]
Someone once told me that for people to love you, you have to love yourself first. I think is something very true. Life has being hard for the past months now. sometimes I stop and look around and wonder. "What I'm I doing with my life?" things are not going like I plan. I stop going to school, I'm working in a place I once said I would never work at. I feel like I'm going to get stuck like my mom did.
my depression got better about 6 months ago, but then I stop going to see my therapist, because I didn't felt comfortable with her, I didn't 100% trusted her.
so now my depression is getting worst. some days I don't want to get up. my anxiety is getting bad. sometimes I just want to give up. I don't want to die but I don't I care if I do. but I cant do that to my mom, love her way to much to make her sad.
today it was a great day, I went to eat and to the movies with a friend. and with a blink of an eye things went bad.
sometimes I feel like people don't care about me, they put me down about my dreams, life. and I just say to myself "I'm done. I'm done caring, I'm done thinking about the future, I'm done breathing. I'm just done." and I just want to scream and let it all out, but I cant.
I feel like if I talk to them about what's going on, they r going to think I'm stupid. that I'm crazy. I know I'm no. but if they say it, I know I'm going to believe it.
they don't know that behind this smile is a broken girl, they see me and to more think they see, the more the think they know, but the closer they get the easier it is to trick them. I let them believe that what they see is real, and when they think they know me and they learn the darkest secrets of my life I might surprise them.
they say that to get better you must accept you have a problem, and before you get better you must get worst. you have to hit rock-bottom, be in the drackest places. be for you can accept it.
So I'm working on a new story, title Pop it like pink champagne.
Lexi,is staying with her strange Aunt and her cousin Ariana because her mom is on a business trip in South Korea for 3 months. But when her Aunt skips town with a Man (again) Ariana and her have to stay alone, they get 2000 dollars each every month. How much trouble can they get in too?
when Lexis mother comes home two weeks to early she has to tell her mother that Aunt Maggi skip town, why she has a dog name pickles. What's up with hot tub in the back yard. How she and Kyle um became a wanted fugitives, why is there half naked people in the house.
are they going to tell the true? Or lie and get away with it?
do any of you know what you want in life? who you are. or what do you want. because i dont. i feel lost, i dont know what i want or who i want to be, im now 20 and i dont know anything about what i want. do i need time with me myslef and I to know what i want? and how do i know thatthats what i want?help! >_<
So sad news ruby-Chan is not going to sakura-con. but on the brightside I know what I'm going to cosplay a made. So yeaaa . And also my friend ber-ber is going Idk what she's cosplaying but anyway. More updatesto come. Just keep smiling.XOXO
This a really good song... people really need to stop hatting.... it does no matter what color u are, where ur from, or what sexually u are, or if u like men or women.... we are all children of god, he loves every one equally ... Remember that he loves u, its just his fan club who's going to try to put I down.
... cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it, and just to show you i care I'll burn it for you when u reach the other side...
so my Essay, 'Get Over It,' was not well-received, hey i was just telling the true. if the guy does not love you get over it. your friends a bitch get over it. your mom wont let u go out get over it.
just playing. buut i did wrote an Assay title Get over it. for my psychology class, and the teacher didnt like it, she said that people dont get over things, all i can say is deal with it on your own way and the you will get over it on your own way.but remember is best if u talk to someone about whatever is wrong, before you hurt your self or others.
The 4 Stages B4 you get OVER it.
Denial An individual's first response to bad news is often disbelief or denial. During this stage, people may feel emotionally numb. They may deny that the situation is happening.
The Nile Is Not Only A River In Egypt.
Anger Once a person has accepted a situation, he moves from denial to anger. People in the anger stage might be irritable, have short tempers or lash out at people around them.
An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.
Depression After awhile, anger fades and leaves behind despair and depression. At this point, an individual may feel as if her grief is permanent. She feels overwhelmed and helpless and starts to believe that her life will never improve. People in this stage of grief may try to shield themselves from their pain by withdrawing and closing off their emotions. The primary emotion during the depression stage is sadness.
Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem
Acceptance and Hope At this stage of the grief process, anger and sadness have begun to fade and a person begins to accept the problem. People at this stage often try to find hope in the situation. They look for meaning or for lessons they can learn.
Hope Is The Last Thing To Died
The 1st step before you can get over it, is to deal with it. No one can help you, if you dont ask for help. but do remember sometimes you have to do it on your own.
Rose:What do I have to live for now that I know Cain won't come back? You tell me that, Ed! Edward:You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a good strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them.
you cant live in the past for ever you have to keep on moving, its okay to look back, but you cant go back.
I'm 19 years old. Its not the old. Its not even close to being old, but sometimes I feel like during that brief time that I being alive, I have live more emotions that most people twice my age.
I think that is the reason I write about love so often on my story's. I write about when love goes right, when it goes wrong. I have even written about loving some one so much that it takes your breath away. I have even written about chasing your dreams, and how itsome feels when you finally catch them.
Last year I stared writing about a different type of love. Its a story about showing someone that you love, that your the one right in front of them. 'We were there' is not a story about a girl or a guy with s broken heart. Its funny how some people think that at 1st 'We were there' its a story about faith, its about fighting for the one you love, its about living in the moment, but most important it's a story about believing you are worth fighting for.
Though out the years people have told me that they have live through moments like this, or that my stories and advice have help them get through hard moments. And to me that is the greatest gift some one can give me.
I'm so grateful for the love people have given me, and mostly i'm grateful that I can share this love with all of you.
Mother: I said I wanted you home because we are having a family dinner!
Me: [ i spoke into the receiver in a calm almost hard-done-by voice] Yes, I'm here mother, so unfair, I never get to see my friends, I never get to do what I want... When is it going to be my turn?" [ I asked with a sigh before putting down the receiver without my mother being able to answer.]