Some of the things I think about

Wednesday, 25. July 2007, 02:46:25

I hold my head close,listening to his heartbeat, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath, pulling it all in to my memories, knowing someday I'll long to have this moment back. I open my eyes as I let go, looking at the grey stubble on his chin, the white whispy fly-away hair, and his wild bushy eyebrows, and tell him I'll see him in a couple of days.
I cherish the time I spend with him, as time seems to slip by so much faster than it did a year ago, two years ago, when time spent was so much less than it is now.
I've memorized the lines in his face, the sound of his voice, the way he looks when he's trying to remember something he thought of only moments ago, and the way his eyes sparkle when I walk through his door, all while trying to forget the way his eyes deepen when I take my leave.
I want to remember how his hands feel in mine, warm and comforting, when the day comes, as I know it will, when I'll hold his hand as he slips away.

Hummingbird Moth

Comments

By pabha, # 28. July 2007, 23:29:34

...the love...

By Silwyona, # 30. July 2007, 15:10:41

I happened upon your pages when I was dong a search on swans ... (I live on the water on Long Island and have many of these beautiful visitors to my bulkhead, they eat from my hand and as the years pass the signets grow into adults and bring their own offspring)... I am an amateur photographer and truly appreciate and absolutely love your photos… so I kept browsing past the beautiful swan photos … then I happened on this lovely writing ... it is truly beautiful ... you are very talented on many levels … may I say … take some pictures now ... even in his illness I wish I had photos of my father at the end ... it was actually a precious bonding time in our relationship ... now it has been over twenty years and the memories when I close my eyes are harder to conjure up … and while the pictures of him in his healthy years bring a smile … I miss the face and the deep and different look his eyes took on as he journeyed through to a place where he looked back at me, also examining every line… hoping to take the memories with him.

By TessDirect, # 24. July 2008, 16:05:49

I must say I'm more than a bit overwhelmed by your post. Your are very gracious and kind to say such lovely things.
Dad passed away this month. I have pictures of him taken in May and June, but I feel a physical pull at my heart to look at them so soon after his passing. I cannot express as eloquently as you how your last line moved me. I hope that my dad was strong enough to take with him the memories of those who loved him.
I know that in the hours before he died he was in that place, neither here, nor there, but both places at once, and there he saw my mother, his parents, my sister and all that went before him who were waiting patiently for his arrival, and all the while he heard us talking to him, assuring him that it was ok to let go of us and be with them.

On a happier note; I'm so glad you found my swan photos and thank you for the wonderful compliment, I really do appreciate it.

So.. thank you, for your thoughtful post. It's funny how a few words from a total stranger can be so powerful.

By lvee, # 25. July 2008, 01:27:28