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The window EYE

hope

I AM ASHAMED OF NOT KNOWing

People some times do things for all the bad reasons

Why take drugs for all the bad reasons huh? Why do we will our selves to become illusions?

I was accompany my friend home, when we were about to part, I herd the sound of two bottles smash
When we came about that corner to say our goodbyes we found this guy with his head butted open on the floor, this all happened near a tavern, possibly the guys were friends or he just simply got mugged
Through my development I have never saw the need to do others harm, for me it is just not worth it to inflict pain on other, ideas like these will always get tested

I really wonder what will become of the human race as time goes by; trends like these will surely develop with time that is one thing for sure

Who can a person have such a will, no one is born a murder and surely no one wants to be killed

BROTHER AND SISTER'S LOVE

So lay down my brother while I stick this bloody knight filled with your sister’s blood in to your heart, accept the damned situation as it unfolds, for dominance and greed rules are relations ship, time and mutation has taught me to love with some much sexual intent, who better to trust my brother other than me, growing up with you was like haven, and now adult hood led you to hell;:ninja: :angel: :devil:


My sister you I have so dearly love all these years I now so much enjoy rapping, your cry every night sounds like a new born child’s cry, I find it hard to see you through all the plastic your wearing, the greed of having you to my self is investable coupled with the need to have your sister, while your smell drives me insane, who better to love than me, growing up with you was bless and now this marriage has led you hell with the devil as your husband;


Blame it all on me, but what if you wanted all this to get some humanly sensation, for that is my most deepest quest, remember your brother brutalizing my innocence, while as a common trend of my uncle and friends taking turns in raping me, who better to trust than my poor mother who is now lost in a deep depression of what could be, who better to rust than the mummy god who is trapped between love and hate;


My surroundings are but a train track which for survival I have to ride out to the end, born in to trouble, I now am a zombie just like all, expression is but no more, have to join in the fight for food left, with my parents and friends against me, if not dominant enough you can never stand the test of time.

LETS CONVERSATE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

I always found joy in writing what I felt, its better than talking, thinking of a situation in great detail then, painting a mental picture trough words, but still writing is limited coz it cant quit express every moment in time in all situations.

I was reading this book about his guy who left city life and went in to the forest to write a book, escaping the train like track of life, to a rocky kinda life with the possibility of harm per every second, that demanded a lot to get him from a city guy to a bush guy, saw a movie this other day, there was a line with in it which sad “once lost retrace your steps”, but the most intriguing movies which I still remember vividly are BUTTERFLY EFFECT and SKELETON KEY, although the MATRIX hold some value when compared with the two, its inclusion would mean the exclusion of BUTTERFLY EFFECT, coz for me the intended on expressing the same idea “escaping reality”, I watch I a lot of movies you see, through every movies an idea is born, as much as they might appear to be the similar sometime, but at some point in time they will have a differentiating element

The spark which these movies ignited was of reality(MATRIX & BUTTERFLY EFFECT), growth(FREEDOM WRITERS), triumph(TSOTSI), and individuality(CURIOUS OF BENJAMIN BUTTON), growth is but inevitable, but through growth complexity of these ideas emerges from every conceivable explanation I sourced out, then I find my self left perplexed the situations, more like reality is presumed accurate until proven wrong
Tend to sit back and look at thing from afar and think how did get here, but then knowing your future will be useless living it, the uncertainty of things makes life worth living, what then when life becomes complete do you case to be(this would mean the end), are you recycled(this then would require strong method of recycling so that the slate becomes new with no traces of the past) or do you continue to the next phase(this would propose the creation of new matter every time, but since the universe is infinite it doesn’t matter, so I presume) , that is why I tend to place my trust on my thoughts per moment coz those I can believe that they are happening, I don’t want to have a false hope of what could be, rather know with certainty what to expect, not to say to know how things are going to turn out at the end, but in a sense that I cant false place my hope on an end result suspended for such a long term,(what if tomorrow is no more) and a conditional term at it, which has the likely hood of turning false, rather place half hope on short term plans and all my hope on how the moment I am in turns out


Interaction between human beings I tend to see it as having similarity to the uncertainty in life, but with the advantage of predictability and understandability through practice, but still will remain uncertain, the super being which created life really thought every thing through, cause when it come to a man and a woman, I have to take down my hat for that, totally different being are expected to merge in to one forming a principal item yet maintaining their original basic forms, more like two atoms a negative and a positive

I never could top some one for the victory, not that I couldn’t, more like in SPIDERMAN when Peter’s uncle sad “with power comes responsibility”, having a title always proposes a challenge, I rather challenge continuously with the aim of perseverance towards an individual goal, like in heroes the guy who ate the other heroes brains, he had two goals I think; to discover who they worked and the need for victory, which turn out detrimental. With the individual aspect of globalization togetherness will be a thing of the past as we strive for acquiring diminished resources will very high level of competing

Lost in my illusion


He had a lot to say while it listened with no skepticism

As he told it all that was to know, it gave him the definite assurance of momentary joy and a worry free illusion of what could be,

The process of creating this beast is known to all, but not all can embark on an enlightened, clear, pure hearted process like this one, for those who willingly render illusions at any point in the process conclusively receive what they sowed, fulfilled are those who embark on it for they do find some peace and comfort from what was,

Mostly by those who have taken this process compare it to a master-servant relationship, with added elements of care and fragile handling expressed by the master of this organic beast, which has care for those who can subdue it,

With elegance and utmost care the process of momentary joy and worry free lasting illusion of what could be ensued, seemingly equal yet the master appeared reliant on the organic beast!
He rendered intellect of what was to it with a perspective need for consensus and understanding,

This was not a quest for validation but rather of sharing what was with the prospect of an explanation or prediction of what could be, With care as it was created and it knew with out doubt that the only thing it had to so was to please its master, in the process rendering its life for some pace of mind for him, for master was deeply depressed with the reality that enslaved him so deeply,

The physical connection to it was the sensation it gave its master, other than that there was this telepathic link between the two organisms, Oh dare love so commonly know to those who find an illusion of you, and yet beguile to those who try to discover your true meaning,

While its master blended gradually with it through his humanly lungs it merged with him and bestowed on him sweet whispers of comfort, “YOU CAN” constantly it retreated, with the guarantee of an escape from the current illusion,

So heavenly joined with a darken fate, the resemblance of an intercourse relation ensued,

“You got to get me out of this shit ZOL I need some comfort of what could be” he sad in his heart of hearts.


THE DILEMMA OF MY DREAMS

I spent time perfecting my life at the end of it all am faced with this big question that I saw imaging out of my closet but was rather ignorant to magnify the elements it so proposed

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE” simple statement do you really understand what it proposes ?

If you can answer it then I ask are you sure?

They say every thing happens for a reason, and I say every thing has a cause and effect, when faced with a choice of choosing a road you run the risk of taking the rocky road, but how can you know the road is rocky if you have no knowledge of the road what so ever .

I set and ask my self why was I born, if I am of such great importance than on the sperm run I got there first for what greater purpose was it all for, I could live my life just like every one and die at the end, but I ask again was the great sperm run for life for becoming and being no more?

I came to a point were I evaluated my quest and that all brought me to the question of what is reality if not simply I prison where I am for now enslaved/imprisoned until I perceive the alternative, but how am I to know if there is indeed an alternative

Then I went even further to ask if I am so enslaved how can I free my self, the only definite answers was to free my mind, but it was rather kind of complicated coz I didn’t know how, then I thought of the going back and learning how to walk, but now it was difficult coz I already knew how to walk,

I really envy the mind that created every thing coz then such a mind has all the answer to very thing, but then if you know every thing there is not need to do more coz the more that is suppose to be done you already know what its effect are;

I earth is to support us and we in turn decompose its good offerings, then what does that mean should we stop developing or should we develop and decompose earth

I am sure of only one thing I am at the moment in which I am

Disregard every thing and take time to think of a simple questions, WHO ARE YOU? and WHY ARE YOU HERE ?

YOU WILL BE THE JUDGE



Develop your sense of taste to better your sense of judgment.

See not with the eyes of the buyer but with the eyes of the maker.

Flash of my flash composed of my parent’s sins.

I cried with you while you lay a plot to kill me.

Even though I carry the sins of my past I still posses the glucose to walk a kilo.

Elusive so we have come to interact, I blame not you but the elements that have shaped you in to a monstrous creature you have become.

I beg you GOD don’t take the life I possess, as a satanic mood provides direction in the dark, I cant shake this feeling of trust I posses with the filth of a connection to the present.

I did not create evil but rather I was tough it as the only means to survive from a brutal elements like beating, abuse, rape, and all pain inflicting bodies that constantly attack my well being.

I was born to die, it is only up to ME on how walk to my grave, and I choose to walk with the socialized form of fast and slow at the same time.

Do you know you’re self?

LONLYNESS AT THE END OF A PERFET RAINBOW



You look at me from an obtuse angel; your relation to me is rather oblique
While I look at you from a 90° angel, you choose diverting from the inevitable
You compose a semicircle picture of what I am, while in fact I am a whole circle
With properties different from others circles
Although I hate what I can not change, I love what I can shape

I WISHED UPON A STAR



MY LOVE OF ALL TIME




NOW THESE CARS I WOULD BUY IF I WAS RICH


MY MOUTH PIECE AND THE SPEED OF SOUND

, , , ...


What I am saying is just the past tens of what I thought

Well am sorry if my vocal part seems to be relaying information that is wrong, may be its because my decoding processing equipment cannot decode the message sent by my mind,
And further take note that what you see is just the past tens of what was
Well if we had the power to see everything for what it is, then in the present we would be able to make, accurate decisions which emanate from the present as we see it in present, for the past cannot be trusted what if it is distorted,
Well not forgetting that actions are also past events
Well if we could react in split second, or act in the speed as the speed of sound, then there wouldn’t be any accidents, but such power would be very useful for us those who have acquired the experience of stealing and groomed it in to a love of some kind,

An element with some sense of the present
Well the only matter that I know has ties with the present is my MIND, which I am very sure, that it has some incredible speed, a very complicated NETWORK, with many components, working together in harmonistic manner to achieve one ultimate goal, which 70% of the goal is self serving, well we are very able to do whatever we want when we want, it’s the quality that all humans being posses which is FREE-WILL, we are not under any rule or control, which we our self don’t initially accept as a ruler or controller, the mind is one powerful matter of without, we would become empty shell , although I admire computers I don’t want to be one cause I would be deprived of my FREE-WILL which I can’t live with out,

I some time wonder whether touch or any human interaction is not as well a past event, well the only thing that I can say come close to the present is SEX, but what about other events or interactions with our loved one are they present or just the past of how we shaped them on as the present takes form.

I wander now if I am living in the present of the past or am I caught in limbo, between the past and the present and if so which dominates which?

My interaction with this world is it worth it?

The day love broke my virginity

, , ,


Lust the sweet sins of the flesh which I found easy for me because mostly its brain activity, and I always emerged without any wounds, and lol emotional wound are very, very difficult to mend

But then when it come to trust then, then come the difficult part cause trusting someone is equivalent to giving yourself to that person, cause he who love you the most can betray you, for now my philosophy is “keep your enemy close, but keep your enemy’s enemy even more close”, lol

Love that is the mother of all emotional breakers, love is stronger that trust or lust, like Romeo and Juliet, love will make you do what you never thought you would do in a million years, it can break or make you, its more like life, but with a bit of predictability, coz people’s actions are predictable, the only problem is how drug up are you to see

Ag with all that sad, now I say no more trying to outsmart love

Well if love has something to offer I will take it and in return I will offer, “but this time with the sole expectancy of betrayal”, I won’t try to predict it but I will rather play it move by move


The policy is GAVE and TAKE, without exceptions
December 2009
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