Thursday, 23. March 2006, 12:01:08
love, letter, Fun
Hi good morning Sweetheart,
I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local
train platform and realized that you are the only site
I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely;
this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real
debugger for me now.
My life is an uncompiled program without you, which
never produces an executable code and hence is
useless. You are not only beautiful by face but all
your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.
Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and
gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes
processing power.
When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my
program modules are running smoothly and giving
expected results. /*which I never experienced
before.*/
With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if
we are linked together, I'll provide you all objects &
libraries necessary for a human being to live an error
free life. Also don`t bother about the firewall which
may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking
capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their
security passwords and make them agree for our
marriage. I anticipate that nobody has already logged
in to your database so that my connect script will
fail. And it's all but certain that if this happened
to me, my system will crash beyond recovery. Kindly
interpret this letter properly and grant me all
privileges of your inbox. Error free..
Wednesday, 22. March 2006, 12:42:08
Fun, love
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl. However the girl's
father does not like him and want to stop their relationship. So
the boy wrote the letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's
father will definitely read this letter.
"The great love that I have for you
is gone and I find my dislike for you
grows everyday. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You only think of yourself.
If we were married, I know I would find
life very difficult and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help me.
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this is the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!! But before handing over the letter to his sweetheart,
the guy called the girl to read only the ODD no. lines i.e. 1,3,5,7,......,25.
So go through it again and you will find its smart and sweet
Wednesday, 22. March 2006, 08:55:42
Fun
It's Tough Being a Guy
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore
Monday, 20. March 2006, 08:48:48
Fun, definitions
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master's.
4. Divo rce : Future tense of marriage.
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
1 3. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Friday, 17. March 2006, 09:19:37
Fun, guy's rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear “the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like
soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Friday, 17. March 2006, 08:53:08
A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
H. 2 American men and 1 American woman
I. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later, on various parts of the island, the
following was observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.
G. The two Irish men began by dividing up their part of the island into Northern & Southern parts, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember the Irish woman because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey; but at least the English are not getting any.
H. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.
What happened to the Indians ??????
The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman!!!
Wednesday, 15. March 2006, 05:29:57
smoking
Within 20 minutes after you smoke that last cigarette, your body begins a series of changes that continue for years.
Your heart rate drops.
12 hours After Quitting
Carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
2 Weeks to 3 Months After Quitting
Your heart attack risk begins to drop.
Your lung function begins to improve.
1 to 9 Months After Quitting
Your Coughing and shortness of breath decrease.
1 Year After Quitting
Your added risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker’s.
5 Years After Quitting
Your stroke risk is reduced to that of a nonsmoker’s 5-15 years after quitting.
10 Years After Quitting
Your lung cancer death rate is about half that of a smoker’s.
Your risk of cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas decreases.
15 Years After Quitting
Your risk of coronary heart disease is back to that of a nonsmoker’s.
Tuesday, 7. March 2006, 09:59:39
World
News of the cartoon filtered into nigeria with some tension in the north of the country which is predominantly muslim.On a friday after their worship they come out enmasse and head to a compound where christians live 8 people were killed there: 1 was my aunt and 3 my little cousins of ages 3, 5 and 7.The killing continued and a total of 30 people were brutally murdered for no just cause.My bitterness runs deep and sorrow fills my heart when I try to visualize their last moments. - Fanntassie
Monday, 6. March 2006, 05:11:44
Fun
TELEGRAM #1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her
clearing B.Ed exams, which
the father receives as :
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill
station sends a telegram to
his wife "I wish you were here." The message received
by wife: "I wish you were
her."
TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway
station to return to her
husband.
At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it
was the last ticket. Taking
pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she
offered her berth to the
old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which
reached as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train,
gave birth to an old
lady."
Thursday, 2. March 2006, 07:09:44
college, Fun
20 things common to all engg colleges...
1) The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the 'dhaba(Resturent)' next to the college.
2) Rules are made to be broken.
3) Promises are made to be broken.
4) Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!
5) Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.
5) The geeks are the most pampered lot during the internal exams.
6) The lab assistants are the most respected people(during the lab exams i.e)
7) The watchmen are the people most bribed.
8) The HOD is the person most respected(heights of sycophancy here).
9) The principal is the person most abused and insulted(behind the back i.e)
10) Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the idea of dropping subjects plzz).
11) There is always a lecturer in the college who cant speak proper 'english'.
12) Night-out is the second most important tool to ace the exams.
13) The most important tool..the bhramastra(Utimate weapon)..is the 'chit' in which the words can be understood only by the person who wrote them(in most of the cases i.e)
14) The freshers are the most sought after..be it in the canteen,the 'free' periods or for completing the records,assignments.
15) The second-years are the ones with the 'I am the don-of-the-college' feeling.
16) The third years are the ones with the 'so-many-backlogs' feeling and the poor souls get down to studying after bossing around in the college for so long.but the fun still continues.
17) The fourth years have no connection with the college whatsoever...with no interest in ragging,pulling each other`s legs,the bday parties,the bday bums et al which they enjoyed so much till now.All they want is a good placement and a '1st-class' tag attached to their memo.
19) The first three years are spent in cursing the college,the people there,the system.
20) But towards the end of the fourth year,people tend to feel nostalgic about the pure unadulterated fun they have had for 4 years.Now the very system they disliked,the very canteen they cursed,the time that they spent there,the bday bums they suffered..all these seem like heaven to them.
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