makeqfit

A strange time. I have been very tired of late - too much training, too little sleep, erratic diet - and partying at weekends; being single, the thought of sitting in and watching the walls is a little...sad. My mood has been melanchony - wrestling in my head between gloom and "pull yourself together!" - but wednesday - today - was a good day. I got at least eight hours sleep last night but still awoke feeling tired. A little frustated by my perpetual tiredness, I trained a couple of client at 10am, an hour later I was laughing and joking with a few people at work, half hour after that I was heading home. I decided that I needed to do something a little proactive, so I sent a text to a girl who had returned from travelling last week AND had offered to teach me spanish - ESPANOL! - if I taught her thai boxing - quid pro quo. Excellent. We are going to begin on friday (it helps that she es guapisimo!) I will be concentrating on learning though. Meanwhile back at the farm...(gym) there was the return of the beautiful brazilian:yes: My god she's a good looking girl! I was very busy on the tennis desk (AAARGGHH! I HATE TENNIS GEEKS! ) alone, with customers piling through the doors, so I never really had a change to engage her...hmm. But it was good to see her - small things, amuse small minds. After a few days of poor eating, I had planned to eat properly today - banana for breakfast: check, prawns for lunch: error! fish and chips - sh%t! apple for snack: check, more fruit later: error! pizza - crap! It looks like i'll have to begin again tomorrow...it's a good thing i'm active otherwise i'd be the size of a house!
All together a not bad day at all...except for the eating:D

Ohmigod! I am happy tonight! Giddy as a schoolboy, grinning like the Cheshire cat, manic as the Joker. It has been an eventful/uneventful week. A conundrum I know. It was my birthday on monday, a day which - due to some small effort on my part - usually passes without fanfare. Most of the day was as expected. I watched "The Princess Diaires", a quite enjoyable Disney film, cooked a little food and fielded phone calls from the few close friends who remembered my birthday. My ex-girlfriend - whose birthday was on the 7th - rang to ask what I was doing. I told her, she knows i'm not a big celebrater of birthday's, especially mine. So I spent the rest of the day working on my website - or being confused by dreamweaver! another story - and sort of watching television. As the evening closed, in there was a ringing of my doorbell. I leapt out of my skin! I had not expected anybody. Opening my door, I was greeted by my ex. She brought me a bottle of champagne -still in the fridge - and I gave her closure. It was nice to see her. Our relationship had more
fizzled out than ended and she was finding it very difficult to deal with. Admittedly, I find closure not the most fun part of a relationship, but this was an adult end to a union that had been magical when it was working well.
Tuesday was a normal day, classes clicking back into gear, speaking to friends and sleeping in the day!
Wednesday. Wednesday, wednesday, wednesday. Those who read my random writings know that
wednesday is beautiful Brazilian day. Though there was no sighting last week and i must admit I was somewhat disappointed. Today I had a group of ladies - three - for personal training. They are regular clients and one brought me a belated birthday present - colonge - very nice. I went home after that, ate some breakfast and chilled. Back to work for three o'clock. Trained at 5.15, had a shower and watched as the tai chi class rolled in. The instructor, Andy, came up the stairs. I told I was disappointed not to have seen the BB and I would have to cancel his class! Laughing he disappeared into the studio. I settled into
reading the newspaper and then she came up the stairs. She was carrying rollerblades and smiling - she
is a very pleasant girl! - and I was smiling back. I said hello and mentioned the rollerblades, she said that she was not very good! She went into the studio. I sat grinning like a moron. I cannot believe how happy seeing her had made me! I don't even know her. I was in a good mood before, but seeing her lifted it into the stratosphere (i'm even using big words now!). Hmmm. This could all end in crushing disappointment. For the time being however I am going to live in the dream.

As I approach the big four oh, it strikes me that even though many things in my life have

changed, there are things that, irritatingly, frustratingly, embarassingly, remain the same.

As a lad, I was not always the quickest to wit and would, a lot of times, end up the butt of

much toddler teasing. At five and six years old, my only reaction was rage and tears. We

lived in a working/middle class area and went to a school that reflected that. So a lot of

the kids, though evil and wicked as only kids can be, were not particularly tough, so my

rages would scare the bejesus out of them. When I was a little older we moved to, what i'll

diplomatically describe as an...urban area. They were unimpressed by my crybaby antics in my

new school. Most of them had parents or older brothers who were really scary! So I learned

to use my brain and wit, just like everybody else. Age and experience working together.

After working for twelve years in retail and feeling in the end as though I was losing my

soul, I went back to college,in my thirties, retrained and became a fitness instructor. Age and experience working together. Hmmm.

I saw my first proper girlfriend when I was fourteen. I use to go ice skating at least

twice a week, met quite a few of my life long friends there. I saw my future girlfriend at

fourteen, as I said, and was instantly smitten. Ah, sweet, you might think, young love and

all that. Well no. It took a year for me to go from staring - it's not quite stalking when

you're fourteen, besides I was going skating anyway. Really. - to meeting. we got together

on my sixteenth birthday. I got very drunk and threw up on her back. We were together for

two years. So as you can see, I was not the quickest out of the blocks when it came to

meeting the ladies. Now this has not, should I say, necessarily characterised my lovelife. I've

been quite lucky and have managed to have a fair share of...encounters. Ultimately I have

not been smitten by every woman I ever got au naturel with. Daresay many have not been

smitten with my good self either. But when I have been mesmerised by a young lady, my age

and experience have been to no avail. I revert to that pining fourteen year old boy, who

needed a year to pluck up the courage to make a move! now at fourteen it's cute and time is

definitely on one's side. At nearing forty, time is not the comforting companion it once

was. And fear of God know's, is not cute. So what am I going on about? Why am I talking

about my life as a youth in a sepia toned lite-love flick? Just one reason: The beautiful

Brazilian.
Two weeks ago there was no sighting of her. Last week I was off work. So it had been three

weeks since the last sighting of B.B. The season had changed and it was lighter and warmer

outside now. I had a couple of inductions thar kept me occupied until just after six. Tai-

Chi, B.B's class of choice - why not kickboxing?! - starts at six thirty. I had returned to

my seat. She came up the stairs as I was talking to a friend. She smiled - I think she is

just a pleasant girl - and said hello. I smiled back - I think - I definitely said

"hello". She was still breathtakingly gorgeous. Why should this surprise me? Sometimes people

look different than you remember them, especially if they've been bouncing around in your

empty head! She looked slightly different than I remembered; but not in a bad way. I watched

her disappear toward the changing rooms.
To explain my gym enviroment. When you come to where I work, as you come up the stairs, for

the gym and studio are up stairs, the first thing you see is a desk. That is where a member

of staff - in this case me - should be sitting. Behind the desk is a wall; the wall to the

studio. So the studio is behind the desk. The studio is where all classes happen, including

Tai-Chi. You cannot see into the studio from the desk. To see into the studio you have to go up

to the doors and peer in through the windows. I have no valid reason to be peering into the

studio, so I don't; stalking is against the law not to mention quite off putting. So the B.B

is literally behind me for an hour and a half! I cannot see her - probably a blessing - or

hear her. A little before eight she leave the class and goes to the changing room. Fifteen

minutes later she is smiling as she serenely passes and waves. I smile and say goodnight - I

think I did anyway - i'm fourteen again. I cannot believe i'm going to have to wait a whole

week AGAIN! Damn, damn, damn! No doubt i'll write about my progress(manic laughter!)next

week.