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makeqfit

something to say....

Posts tagged with "life"

Always choices.

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In life there are always decisions to be made. There are easy decisions; if you are going out and it's raining, you decide to dress appropiately. If you are hungry, you get something to eat. Simple. There of course more challenging decisions; you dislike your job, so a decision to have a "sick day" is a little more tricky, especially when you're not sick. A decision to nick a pen from work is unlikely to give you much pause for thought, but would you steal a computer? Most probably would not, the incentive of having a free computer weighed up against the possible consequences of prosecution, humiliation and maybe incarceration are enough to deter most. There are those who are prepared to take the risk, to make the poor decision,for the immediate gratification and thrill of getting away with something for nothing.
Admittedly, the human condition is to take the easiest option. if given the option of digging ditches for eight hours a day or watching television for eight hours for the same amount of pay, only the most energetic - or televisual-phobic - of us would opt for the ditches! In these days of consumerism and, until recently, ready credit, many have made the decision to live beyond their means. This is not a conscious decision. Few make purchases on their credit cards thinking "I can't afford this." Generally the human attitude is "it will not happen to me." So with that somewhat myopic approach, many find themselves in debt; a lot of debt.
Mistakes are normal, everybody makes them. There just seems something about financial mistakes, debt creating mistakes, that causes people to make poor decisions. Poor decisions such as borrowing money to service debt, avoiding their creditors, under selling cherished items; killing.
How much money do you have to owe to resort to murder? What price a life? A million pounds perhaps? Ten million? Would you make the decision to kill a stranger for ten million? Would you do it for half a million pounds? You don't know the person, how bad can it be? Plus you end up half a million - less your debt - better off. Bad decision? Would you kill your spouse for that much? Someone you profess to love and cherish? Does money cause that sort of, what can only be termed, madness?
Nisha Patel-Nasri was killed for less than four hundred thousand pounds. By all accounts, she was a lovely person, a credit to the community, a part-time police officer. Her husband, Fadi, had arranged to have her killed so as he could cash in her insurance policy. He had been seeing another woman, leading a double life and managed to acrue vast debts. He is not the first man, or person, to lead a double life and he surely will not be the last, and though his dual life was distasteful, it becomes a mere aside when the story of how he arranged for his wife of a barely three years to be murdered - he supplied a kitchen knife and the keys of their home to his would-be accomplices - just so as he could sell the house and collect the insurance. News items make no reference to how their relationship was; good ,bad or indifferent. There is a some mention of her having thoughts of divorcing him, so perhaps all was not rosy in their relationship. By all accounts, anything of any worth was also in her name, even to the point of underwriting his limo business. Undoubtedly they had money worries. Fadi looked for the easiest solution out of his debt burden. I imagine that if he was thinking that his wife was going to divorce him and leave him destitute, that he felt he had no choice, he had to do something. Unfortunately he made a very poor and callous choice.
In all. there were four men involved - the husband, two men who were to carry out the deed and a getaway driver. For the price of a house and a life insurance policy, four men made very poor decisions. Thankfully they will have plenty of to review those decisions in jail.

Single-dom

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An hour ago I was sleeping. But after coughing for the last half hour, I am now awake and - obviously - writing. Having missed work yesterday - and training - feeling not at all like myself (sore throat, achy limbs, my back!) the sore throat has decided to subside and become a relentless - nope, I tell a lie, it is only relentless when I lie down, as I sit writing this, I am positively cough free! Seeing as I’m awake and my mind is a whir - feeling a bit peckish too…- I thought I would continue on my mild rant vein with ramblings of my single-dom - admittedly not something I was acutely aware of, having been sort of bouncing around ex-girlfriends of late, but that really is another blog.
Having crashed through the past decade, my thirties, the time when I was expecting to sort my life out, find my “House on the Prairie” - this was the idyll I aspired to growing up - meet the “one”, be…well just be . That didn’t quite go to plan. Not that there was a plan - Pa never had a plan in House on the Prairie! - it was all just meant to happen. Maybe I watch to many films, but aren’t people meant to meet and click and run towards a rainbow or some such? Or at least agree to pay bills on time and have a modicum of similar interest. So I thought , a little over a decade ago - my how time flies - I know what I want. I love Latin looking girls, clubbing, music, non-smoker, non-drinker (well, not necessarily teetotal, but the getting hammered on a weekend was never me.) Apparently, though I never knew this at the time, if you put the thought out “there” , you will attract it. I did. Met a beautiful girl, Mediterranean looks, loved clubbing, non-drinker, non-smoker, plus; great cook, got on with all my friends, - believe me, this was unusual, given some of my previous choices! - relentlessly positive outlook. Perfect. Lovely woman, loved her, as a person. Didn’t fancy her. Aargh! Suffice to say, her best efforts could not save that relationship. So….hmmm…what to do? I remained single for awhile, changed my career and found myself - I was a little bit lost, as only we with to many options can be. So I’m working in the gym - well, I was sitting at the gym reception desk and got thunder bolted by a brunette coming up the stairs. Who was that? I wondered. Instant attraction. She seemed a little aloof and in the coming weeks as she came to the gym, nothing in her manner contradicted this image. But still I fancied the pants off her. We got to talking - sorry about the western slang - and clicked immediately. The relationship moved at warp speed, to the point that we were living together inside a month! Then the fun began. She did not go clubbing - admittedly I was slowing down anyway - but our musical taste were quite different also. She was given to depressive episodes and rages, she also liked a drink or two and on occasion ten! She was a fabulous cook though - I can and do cook, before I get angry mail from the equality massive! - she was a mass of insecurities, not where the relationship was concerned, just in regards to herself. THIS woman I fancied, loved a great deal. We were so similar in character, if not traits, it was freaky. But the clashes became to much and to tiring. We work much better as friends.
So where am I? Looking for a spark with a non-smoking, sensibly drinking - still liking the brunette/Latin look, so that would not hurt - to not have a total aversion to exercise wouldn’t hurt either.
Should be able to cook….answers on a postcard, or forward your c.v’s. I’m quite shallow, so a photo would be appreciated. Preferably of you, not your hot friend - unless you’re sending them my way! Thank-Q.
:up:

letter to myself.

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This is a little odd. talking to myself in this way. But sometimes one must try unusual methods or routes to achieve one's objective. That objective - an appreciation of life, contentment and happiness - being very important, I am prepared to utilise any means necessary to get the message across. To myself. So...to get to it...do you know how blessed you are? You are loved by family, friends and even ex-girlfriends! You have a job you enjoy and look forward to doing, still seeking knowledge within your field, so obviously retain a passion for. You're in physically great shape, look forward to exercising - training! - even though it's your job! The future looks great - going to Olympics in China! There'll be the trip to your spiritual home, La Santa, before that and who knows where else? The power is within you to do anything. Anything you put your mind to. So what's holding you back? Is it not about time you "shone" as children do? Is it not time to be alive, not just survive? In life, you have to make mistakes, but you don't have to have regrets. Time to leap.:smile:

A beautiful day...

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Today was a nice day, the sunny weather enhancing that feeling. I was up EARLY to go to work, getting to the park at 6:25am. I felt remarkably awake considering I had not gotten to sleep until about one-ish in the morning. Admittedly, I was not in a fantastic mood when I got to work this morning, but I was not in a poor mood either, I was sort of neutral. I have been somewhat obsessed with self-help stuff of late. Books, films, audio, anything which encourages the improvement of oneself, I've been devouring. So, to this end, I have been very conscious of my mood or state at anytime. It has been a strange and enlightening process, catching my unprompted bad moods - that first-thing-in-the-morning-funk that sometimes grip you. Don't want to work or see anybody because you feel overwhelmed and tired. I have found that just the self policing of my states has lifted my spirits greatly.
After work this morning, I walked through the park, thoughts of lunch on my mind. The short drive home and I rushed into my kitchen. Mackerel and eggs for lunch and a nap in front of the TV. I woke up, checked the time, played PS2 PE6 - I'm addicted! - and went out to go and find a beautiful box (It's another story, I might tell sometime). I decided to take the tube into the west end. Is it just me, or do all the beautiful girls come out in the sunshine? A beautiful, shy brunette, wearing spectacles, sat opposite me on the tube. As I messed about with an easy sudoko, she read a book. Maybe I should have said hello, but that has never been something I do - maybe that will change, forty next week, probably not... - but I was happy enough just to see so many attractive women. Everywhere I looked. I didn't find a box though... :rolleyes:

It's been awhile...but this is worth it.

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Looking At Each Day

She is 92 years old,
petite, well poised, and proud.
She is fully dressed each morning
by eight o'clock, with her hair
fashionably coifed, and her makeup
perfectly applied, in spite of the fact
she is legally blind.

Today she has moved to a nursing home.
Her husband of 70 years recently passed away,
making this move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently i
n the lobby of the nursing home,
where I am employed,
she smiled sweetly when told
her room was ready.

As she maneuvered
her walker to the elevator,
I provided a visual description
of her tiny room,
including the eyelet curtains
that had been hung on her window.

"I love it," she stated
with the enthusiasm
of an eight-year-old
having just been presented
with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones,
you haven't seen the room...
just wait," I said.

Then she spoke these words
that I will never forget:

"That does not have
anything to do with it,"
she gently replied.

"Happiness is something
you decide on ahead of time.

Whether I like my room or not,
does not depend on how
the furniture is arranged.
It is how I arrange my mind.
I have already decided to love it.

It is a decision I make
every morning when I wake up.
I have a choice.

I can spend the day in bed
recounting the difficulty I have
with the parts of my body
that no longer work,
or I can get out of bed and be thankful
for the ones that do work.
Each day is a gift,
and as long as my eyes open,
I will focus on the new day
and all of the happy memories
I have stored away...
just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account.
You withdraw from what
you have already put in.

I believe-
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible
for who we become.

I believe-
that no matter how good
a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must
forgive them for that.

I believe-
that just because
someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to
doesn't mean
they don't love you
with all they have.

I believe-
that true friendship
continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
that it's taking me
a long time to become
the person I want to be.

I believe-
that you should always
leave loved ones
with loving words.
It may be the last time
you will ever see them.

I believe-
that you can keep going,
long after you can't.

I believe-
that we are responsible
for what we do,
no matter
how we feel.

I believe-
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I believe-
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
that money
is a lousy way
of keeping score.

I believe-
that my best friend and I can
do anything or nothing
and have the best time.

I believe-
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones
to help you get back up.


I believe-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.


I believe-
that maturity
has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do
with how many birthdays
you've celebrated.

I believe-
that it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to
learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
that no matter how bad
your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop
for your grief.

I believe-
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
that you shouldn't be so eager
to find out a secret.
It could change
your life forever.

I believe-
that two people
can look at the exact same thing
and see something
totally different.

I believe-
that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't
even know you.

I believe-
that even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
that credentials on the wall
do not make you
a decent human being.

I believe-
that the people
you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

:love:

mayfly

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The mayfly lives for just one day
A day to work, no rest, but play
It got me wondering, what? I would do
With just twenty-four hours to get thru

No time to worry, frown or mope
No future planning, no lingering hope
Compelled to act immediately
Knowing that time will not wait for me

What would I do? Where would I go?
What's most important? How do I know?
The family, friends and forgotten memories
The special persons who creates reveries

A complex thing it is indeed
To know the urgency, the speed
A life of one full day and night
To try everything to make it right

Of course there is an upside to this
This life with the twenty-four hour twist
Living your life in full throttle, fifth gear
Living your life without any fear.

my life in a box.

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I don't talk to people. I have a friend who talks to anybody and everybody - lovely guy - we joke that he has no standards, because he will - and routinely does - strike up a conversation with anybody. He is a taxi a driver, so I suppose it is a nice personality quirk, but even before he started driving a taxi he was like that. I on the other hand, don't really engage with people unless I am introduced to them. I am - I am loath to admit - a real city person. I have many friends and circles and make very little - okay, no effort - to meet anybody else. Most of my friends are personable people, always mixing happily with all and sundry when out and about. I, on the other hand, am ever only hit by this sociability malaise sporadically. Given that I have spent my entire working life dealing with the general public and having to talk to people, it is very odd. Especially now, in my job as a personal trainer and fitness instructor, I am cajoling and talking to people all the time. Though I am personable however, I rarely enquire beyond professional lines - how's the training going? Do you do the same thing every week? What do you eat? blah, blah blah... - I do actually want to help people when it comes to fitness, but being the gym bloke is a bit like being the ticket collector - a former occupation of mine - that's all people see. But that is not the people's fault is it? That is all I am projecting. Don't get me wrong, having worked in the gym going on four years, I do know a lot of the regulars and what they do and even in a moment of madness - not regret, please - met my last girlfriend there (obviously I was feeling a little more sociable that day!) But in a city which seems to get more populated by the day, the only people I meet are the ones who come into my classes. Talking in my classes is no problem; it's work and i'm good at it. But when my classes end and the various people disperse, except for the select few who have been coming for years, I have no idea what lives of most them entail. Maybe it's time to escape my comfort zone. The box is getting pretty small.:eyes:

massive action...eventually.

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It has been hot in the U.K. I mean real hot! High twenties and thirties since friday, London was strangely quiet yesterday, the England vs. Portugal match managing to clear the streets better than a hurricane warning! For those who don't know - which probably means you don't care - England lost in a penalty shootout - again. Okay that was bad. Then as if it is not bad enough that one of my teams gets knocked out - It's all Eriksson's fault! - France, led by a mercurial Zidane, knock Brazil out of the tornament! Now I don't even care who wins the bloody thing!
All this warm weather - hot! - and lovely evenings is make me slightly melanchony. Walking through the park on the way home from work on saturday night and the park was awash with groups pinicing and couples strolling hand in hand, it was summer as seen through rose tinted specs. I was, admittedly tired from going out friday night an being up early on saturday morning, heading home to - unknowingly - watch Brazil get beat and eat Chinese food in my hot little flat. I am not getting used to this single thing yet, but at least I was to tired to really care yesterday. I awoke this morning with an impression from the strangest dream - it is quite unusual for me to remember my dreams - I dreamt that I had hair! Not like fifteen, twenty years ago, the years of afro and mini 'fro, it was more like the Rev. Al Sharpaton, but slightly curly. It was very strange. It's not like being bald bothers me, it suits my laziness, but still, in the dream, I was proud of my suddenly lush bonce. I can't remember anything else about the dream. Very odd. I have lost my Spanish teacher - I have no idea for how long, maybe forever - so I am plowing on on my own. I refuse to be defeated! Every life needs MASSIVE action at some point. I am almost at that point.:wait:

thoughts for the day

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A friend sent me this :D

10    Life is sexually transmitted

09    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

08    Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich

07    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

06    Some people are like a Slinky.  Not really good for anything, but  you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs

05    Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing

04    All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism

03    Why does a slight tax increase cost you 50 quid and a substantial tax cut saves you 50p

02    In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal


AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of cars in Britain, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of  illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the DVLA in charge of immigration

More from the blackside.

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Tonight's topic of conversation on BBC radio London's weekly black show was black men and Asian women as couples and do black men make good fathers? Unfortunately I did not catch that much of the show, though what I did catch was lively and provocative. One young lady phoned in to make the point that if people did not find a particular race attractive or did not go out with a particular group of people that did not make them racist. She was of the opinion that every person was entitled to their own views, likes and dislikes. I was inclined to agree. Most adults can name a look/type they prefer. I - for those who don't know - like brunettes. That's not to say I don't find other women attractive; I just am always most likely to be attracted to brunettes. So if an Asian says they don't go out with blacks, does that make them a racist? I would suppose you would have to ask the individual. The next caller offered the view that, if in fact a person did not go out with some one because of their race/colour they were, in essence, racist. The most interesting caller was the last one on the subject. It was a white guy who said he was married to a black woman. He said he had a couple of Asian work colleagues who had told him that one of the ways in which Asian tend to view themselves, is through their professions. So to go out with a black man - very much viewed as lowly working class - was seen as beneath them. This something we - the black male community - have always felt and known. It is not something which is exclusive to Asians however. It is just that they are very closeted as a community, almost as if they do not trust any other race. There is, even amongst black people, an image of the black man as a rougish Lothario, almost hunting and conquering women of any creed and colour - some black men REALLY believe it! - but it's a nonsense. I have met men of every race and they ALL think like that to some degree.
December 2009
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