makeqfit

An hour ago I was sleeping. But after coughing for the last half hour, I am now awake and - obviously - writing. Having missed work yesterday - and training - feeling not at all like myself (sore throat, achy limbs, my back!) the sore throat has decided to subside and become a relentless - nope, I tell a lie, it is only relentless when I lie down, as I sit writing this, I am positively cough free! Seeing as I’m awake and my mind is a whir - feeling a bit peckish too…- I thought I would continue on my mild rant vein with ramblings of my single-dom - admittedly not something I was acutely aware of, having been sort of bouncing around ex-girlfriends of late, but that really is another blog.
Having crashed through the past decade, my thirties, the time when I was expecting to sort my life out, find my “House on the Prairie” - this was the idyll I aspired to growing up - meet the “one”, be…well just be . That didn’t quite go to plan. Not that there was a plan - Pa never had a plan in House on the Prairie! - it was all just meant to happen. Maybe I watch to many films, but aren’t people meant to meet and click and run towards a rainbow or some such? Or at least agree to pay bills on time and have a modicum of similar interest. So I thought , a little over a decade ago - my how time flies - I know what I want. I love Latin looking girls, clubbing, music, non-smoker, non-drinker (well, not necessarily teetotal, but the getting hammered on a weekend was never me.) Apparently, though I never knew this at the time, if you put the thought out “there” , you will attract it. I did. Met a beautiful girl, Mediterranean looks, loved clubbing, non-drinker, non-smoker, plus; great cook, got on with all my friends, - believe me, this was unusual, given some of my previous choices! - relentlessly positive outlook. Perfect. Lovely woman, loved her, as a person. Didn’t fancy her. Aargh! Suffice to say, her best efforts could not save that relationship. So….hmmm…what to do? I remained single for awhile, changed my career and found myself - I was a little bit lost, as only we with to many options can be. So I’m working in the gym - well, I was sitting at the gym reception desk and got thunder bolted by a brunette coming up the stairs. Who was that? I wondered. Instant attraction. She seemed a little aloof and in the coming weeks as she came to the gym, nothing in her manner contradicted this image. But still I fancied the pants off her. We got to talking - sorry about the western slang - and clicked immediately. The relationship moved at warp speed, to the point that we were living together inside a month! Then the fun began. She did not go clubbing - admittedly I was slowing down anyway - but our musical taste were quite different also. She was given to depressive episodes and rages, she also liked a drink or two and on occasion ten! She was a fabulous cook though - I can and do cook, before I get angry mail from the equality massive! - she was a mass of insecurities, not where the relationship was concerned, just in regards to herself. THIS woman I fancied, loved a great deal. We were so similar in character, if not traits, it was freaky. But the clashes became to much and to tiring. We work much better as friends.
So where am I? Looking for a spark with a non-smoking, sensibly drinking - still liking the brunette/Latin look, so that would not hurt - to not have a total aversion to exercise wouldn’t hurt either.
Should be able to cook….answers on a postcard, or forward your c.v’s. I’m quite shallow, so a photo would be appreciated. Preferably of you, not your hot friend - unless you’re sending them my way! Thank-Q.

monday has been a throughly wasted day. goodnight.

My head is a malestrom of activity at the moment. I don't know where my life is going, I'm eating WAY to many crap foods - and it's affecting my mood and health - I having ideas but, and this is not that unusual for me, not following any of them through. The brazilian girl from the tai chi class is popping into my head to challenge my resolve - how am I going to meet her? What's her name? Is she single? - Because I keep getting colds nad injuries (note: stop eating shit!) I am unable to train consistently. I am having a bit of a 'mare getting my website back online, i'm not very techy. AND finally, I am hating being single. Okay. I need to get a grip and exercise a little control over my life. I nearly forty for goodness sake! I have a wealth of life experience to look back on, I should, and can, make better informed life decisions. I am of course just emptying my head on to this blog, in the vain hope that come D-day - wednesday's tai chi class - I've got some sort of plan (not to mention backbone!) to solve one of my more pressing concerns.

i don't know if i'm meant to write tonight. this is the third time i am trying to post a blog! the server is running so slow that i could probably hand deliver faster! i have been wondering (and writing!) about life and choice. with so much misery in the world and the divide between the haves and the have-nots ever widening, i wonder if a person's life is fate or destiny? there was a book a few years back - The Bible Code - which claimed that within the bible every event in human history, past and present, was predicted and recounted. so basically, everthing is already set in stone. great. so much for having a thought then! this is at odds with my thinking and outlook - basically, i believe that there is some sort of balance - even if i cannot see it - in the cosmos. if you do bad things, bad things will happen to you. if you do good things you are probably happy anyway. but if everything is already written, already decided, it does not matter what you do, because you were suppose to anyway! that cannot be right. that's not living; it's acting. i cannot believe i have no control whatsoever over my life. which brings me nicely to my life and...being single. i always believed in a house-on-the-prarie romanticized vision of coupledom. you meet your soulmate and through thick and thin, you grow together and get closer and more loving. as i get older - and have more potential "soulmates"! - my notion is getting jaded. do i wait and meet my soulmate? though the likelyhood of her coming to my front door is remote to non-existent. or, should i be out there, looking for that special somebody? now the problem with the looking is i don't know exactly what i'm looking for until i find it - or - until she find me! ther are plenty of attractive women in the city, but one does not feel a spark with all of them! or, to tell the truth, when walking down the street, it is hard to feel a spark with anybody. i need to relax i think. i'm healthy, got all my own teeth, great friends and family and look forward to going to work, unlike ninety percent of the populace. with over six billion people on the planet - and i'm told quite a few of them are adult women - my future relationship must be out there somewhere. just got to start looking in the right places...