About Grandma Mano

From March 27, 2006 e-mailThanks Dad it was good to read your words--made me cry but a lot of
that i had never heard before.

Hi Mano clan,

I never really feel like writing on here unless it's to ask the masses
for a favor (like finding research participants) or to give some health
warning, but I feel like writing, probably because I have a lot on my mind yet I
don't think I'd be able to make it through talking. I'm not even sure
what I want to say yet.

I have felt so blessed my whole life to have the family that I do--the
whole Mano family. I really felt that last December when we asked everyone
to fast and pray for Rachel and the baby--blessed that we have such a
faithful amazing family who you can count on not just to let you stay at their
house, feed you, and all the great things everyone does, but to also to give
spiritual strength and blessings. I know that Grandma is a big reason
for this. I really miss her already, just the thought that she's not going
to be around. I talked to Chad and he mentioned that it's sad because he
thought she'd live to be over 100, he and Tisha both mentioned how
Grandma was there for every important event in their lives, which I think
amazingly is true for all of us. I never specifically thought that she'd live to
be over 100, but I guess I did think that because I always thought that
she'd be around.

When I was last home a couple of weeks ago I realized how hard it was
going to be to see her go. I realized that even when someone has lived such
a full life and is 91 or is it 92 that it is so sad to know that they're
going to be gone. I guess I should've been prepared since I think Grandma
has been telling us all our whole lives when we ask to do something with
her, "well you better hurry because you never know how long I'll be around."
When I got back to WA I talked to her boss and she told me that her
mother died of pancreatic cancer when she was around 60 she said that it can
get really painful. I also talked to Neil's Dad, who is a doctor, and his
father died of pancreatic cancer and he said the same thing. He said
he just noticed one day when he went to visit that his Dad was jaundice
and that's the first he knew that something was wrong. That's the way it
usually is with pancreatic cancer, people don't know until their
jaundice and then it's not too long before the person dies. When I heard that I
felt like it would be better for Grandma to go sooner than later. It sounds
like she didn't suffer too long in terms of pain so I'm glad for that. I've
thought though that while we're all sad about her passing on, she's
probably really happy on the other side and probably got right to working and
being busy, which makes her the happiest. I wish I was like that. I
remember more than once when I had already been working full time, during the
summers at least, when I'd be sitting with Grandma at her place and we could
hear the cars passing by. She said that in the morning she sees and hears
all the cars passing by and would think "those people are so lucky, they
get to go to work", I couldn't imagine any of those people thinking the same
thing.

Most of my memories with cousins are at family gatherings, a lot at
grandma's place. I'm still amazed at how Grandma could feed so many
people with a pot of curry. I have a lot of vivid memories of being at
Grandma's. I remember when I slept over and would wake up and she was downstairs
in the kitchen and then I would sit at the top of the stairs and look through
the railings and watch her cook. One time I played hide and seek with my
brothers and I went into the kitchen closet and closed the door. When
I tried to get out the door only opened about 1 inch and I was scared and
grandma held my hand through the crack until Uncle Ron or maybe it was
my Dad came and opened the door. I'm not sure how long it was that I was
in there, though it seemed long and have imprinted in my head that medium
sized trash can that was in the closet, I think full of rice. I remember one
time being at Grandma's and I got sick. Grandma took care of me and I can
remember her holding my hand; I couldn't move my hand and it really
scared me, I'm not sure if it just was asleep or what, but she held it until I
was able to move it. Maybe she was doing energy work on me without even
knowing it. I was thinking about this yesterday and thinking how I was glad
that I got to spend some time with her last time I was there and just take
care of her a bit. It is hard though because I thought I'd be able to see her
again. I do feel though that we're lucky that so many of us did get to
see her in the past month.

Yesterday I went up to the temple to go to the temple and visit Nibs
and Mary. I got there kind've late and left early so I didn't get to see
Nibs.
It was good to be with family and be able to talk to Aunt Mary. She
said that Tom really wanted to make it to "Auntie Michi's" funeral; he
could've if it were Sat, but Fri. the Morio family will all (except Nibs and
Mary) be in San Diego for Joseph (Dodie's son) graduation from I think the
Marines--it's camp pendleton. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.
I was talking to the dad of one of the kid's who I worked with. I was
late starting the appointment so I explained to him that I just heard
Grandma died. He mentioned how when his grandmother died it was sad, but it
was also a great family reunion and everyone had a good time together
sharing stories about their grandmother. When he said that I just imagined us
all sitting around smiling and laughing about the things grandma would say
to us, you know often it consisted of Japanese words, at least we all know
some Japanese.

this ended up longer than I expected, there's just so much to say about
grandma and how great she is. actually i'm not sure how much i
elaborated on that, but you all know that she is. i can't wait to be home and to
see everyone. Thanks for being the best family, I love you all.

love
stephi