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http://my.opera.com/maojunling/blog/

Posts tagged with "feeling"

快疯了

乱七八糟的事情太多,总觉得生活简单又复杂,简单到闭上眼睛,似乎都能看到了终点,复杂到
戴上眼镜,也看不出自己在干什么。不一样的人,不一样的生活,一样的幸福。幸福不知道
是个什么东东,如同生活一样简单而复杂。寒假打工,接触到好多好多人。有月入上万的,也
有就是温饱水平上的。不一样的衣着,不一样的气质,可是脸上却一样的笑容,大概因为在过
年期间吧。可是这些人的生活又为了什么呢?想为生活找些理由,想来想去,却找不到。过去
认为生活是为了自己的愿望,为了别人的愿望,为了幸福。可是总觉得这样的生活有点无奈。
努力地生活着,却为了自己眼前那块不断移动的苹果,想想都觉得可怜。肩负着别人的希望,
又太过于沉重。过分执着于幸福,本身就是不幸。接触到很多事情之后,才明白生活为了经历,
为了自己去经历,也为了人类经验的传承。

经历的最初是朋友。不知谁说过,跟越来越多的人接触,从一个到另一个,树状展开,这就是
所谓的朋友圈。而一个人的朋友有多少,他的生活圈就有多大。学过数据结构的交叉树,一个
地球上的人才60亿,而一个人的朋友平均下来却有N多。可是按树的模型去进行计算,却是不对
的。这是个数学图论的问题,不然真想做个PAPER。想起一个6人问题,好像就是这个图的一个
结论。任何两个人直接的距离,不会超过6个人。多难以想象,自己和各位名人之间,只要通过
6个人就能认识。而这些朋友,所带来的经历的分享,是难以想象的。认识一个武大从法国回来
的朋友,看了很多法国的照片,眼花缭乱。方形的道行树,哥特式的建筑,巨大的穹顶巴洛克贞
德教堂,还有停满了装甲车的铁塔。凡赛尔宫,凯旋门,拿破仑馆,卢浮宫,好强烈的艺术气息,
就连普通的农舍都很有很强烈的童话风。有点后悔,选修课上没认真上了。一下子根本无法去欣
赏这么多的风格和元素。欧洲果然充满着文化的气息,和法国更是欧洲的文化精髓所在。

亲历亲为,现在似乎很流行这个词。今年贺岁片里面,出现好多次。很多事情还是亲身经历,比
较有感觉。没去过法国,就永远体会不到那种文化气息和风情。现在的生活,只是为了将来去经
历更多值得去经历的东西。人生最大的财富其实就是经历。即使人类毁灭了,他们的经历也会给
后人留下无限的想象,如同恐龙予人类一般。

life merging

There is a uniqueness of flavor approaching not only lives here on Earth but
our artistic lives as well. I know that some of you do not think of yourselves
as artists but very often what you are good at, whether it be a profession or
a hobby or some particular skill, takes on at least the aura of artistry as you
hone your skills in that expression of yourself.

This coming flavor will provide a sense of connection between all of our ex-
periences as human beings and other beings on this planet. We do not think of
ourselves as trees or animals but there is a connection. Certainly we are made
up of the same matter - Mother Earth's body but there is more.

Creator has created this planet yes but there is still more. There is the aromas
of life. There is the flavors of life. There is also the sounds of life. Many of
these things are coming together now in a re-patterning of our existence so that
there will be times when you're around a tree that it will have a definite sense
of personality and there will be times when you're near a rock or a boulder and
it will remind you not only by some nuance of its appearance but it will remind
you of someone, some thing special, some time or some event.

There will also be times when you will be around a person who will remind you of
a special time in the forest or a place or a thing.

This merging of expressions of life is always here as a precursor to showing us
that humanity is merging with all life. This merging will be the most benevolent
experience any of us have ever known and all barriers as we have known them will
fall away.

I feel that it is important to herald this now as in the coming years you will
see, smell, feel, hear and taste the results.
ps:Another essay about life.I think i am really immersed in the life jam.

why

I sometimes wonder why the world is the way it is. We look up at the stars at
night and there is a definite feeling - have you noticed it - of peacefulness.

Oh sometimes we see what we call a shooting star and it has beauty. Generally
speaking I find the night sky has beauty - don't you?

And yet we experience our world here where there is definitely beauty often
all around us whether we see it or not - someone does - and yet there is so
much struggle and strife. There is certainly a tendency to assume that we're
doing something wrong as a society to say nothing of as individuals and yet my
feeling is that we are surrounded by beauty - for the sky is on all sides of
the Earth isn't it and there is much beauty here on Earth.

Perhaps if we pull back from our view of life here it's not so much that things
are getting worse on Earth as we are simply becoming more aware of what's going
on on Earth because of our communication system and those who would inform us
but perhaps it's possible that since we are surrounded by beauty in the sky and
so much on the Earth we cannot even see it in a single day but hope that others
do - in the smiles of babies, in the beauty of our pets and the beauty of plants
and animals in general - often that we don't see but our friends send this beauty
to us in pictures of animals.

You get them I know, I get them too. So there is so much beauty around us perhaps
it's the other way. Perhaps the beauty is slowly seeping into Earth. It's an inter-
resting idea that, isn't it. Maybe Earth is like a reverse tea bag. The more Earth
is in this space the more we absorb beauty. I wonder. I suppose it's possible.

pita

,

-为什么?
-什么为什么?!
-为什么会这样?
-不用你管!
-这样可以吗?
-不知道.
-你真的想这样?
-是又怎么样,不是又怎么样?!
-难道就不可以变一下吗?
-你会变吗?变了就不是我了.
不知道这世上为什么会有性格,为什么会有价值观,为什么会有各种各样奇怪的想法.
"傻瓜,因为上帝喜欢这样啊.因为这样,我才会喜欢你."又是韩剧.
脑袋中的信号不住地被采样,断续,而无法表达。只因无法寻找到那个内插函数。也许
Convolve真的是回忆的过程。过采样,抽取,内插,延拓,折叠,移位,取主值。一切
跟回忆是那么的相似,快有点为Oppenheim所倾倒了。可是在漫长的方框图上,前方
究竟还有多少个方框,生命中还要求多少次冲激呢?会不会也会出现如同黑色幽默般
的一个又一个Feedback。ORZ
有的时候觉得人生是一杯水,倒进去,再倒出来。可是倒进去的,却不一定是倒出来的。
也许上帝真的是个艺术家,让人生这么多变,让生活充满了多种选择。如同薛定谔猫,如同
测不准原理。你能预测出细节,却预测不出主体。你注意到了主体,却注意不到细节。你
努力了,而未来却在黑乎乎的箱子里面。
LOVE is ENDLESS,SO IS LIFE。
PS:I THINK I MAY LOST IN THE YELLOW ROOM WITH THE WIND,DANCING
CHACONNE,WATCHING THE FALLING INDIGO ,LISTENING TO YIRUMA,
AND WAITING FOR THE MOMENT WHEN SCENERY BEGINS。

雪之女王 SNOW QUEEN

看完雪之女王,总觉得应该写点什么东西.可是太感人,太悲伤了,反到不知道写些什么好了.
一部很不错的电视剧,很凄美,不错的剧本,不错的演员,不错的导演.LAPLAND,一个不错的意象.
一切都好象很完美,但是是一部悲剧.看了让人越发得悲伤,一种通彻心扉的悲伤,从心里挥之不去.
整个人貌似拖离了理性的束缚,完全被感性的意识牵入了剧中的情景.矛盾随着剧情而婉转,感情
随着矛盾而肆意.也许太感人,最后的结局没能象开头那样,成为一部彻头彻尾的悲剧.

"拉普兰德
这里住着雪之女王
一年四季都是白雪皑皑的
北边的尽头 拉普兰德
在那最深最冷的地方 有雪之女王的宫殿
用白雪筑成墙
用冷冽的寒风做成窗的冰宫里
隔绝世界上所有暖气 一个人冰冻的雪之女王 她是世界上最漂亮的人
也是最孤独的人
所以只好把加伊带走
她那么说过:
你也是雪之女王带走的吗?
格尔达为了寻找加伊
来到了雪之女王的住处 拉普兰德
还有我...我...
世界上最美丽最孤独的我的女王
我来找你..."
似乎玄彬就应该这样躺在LAPLAND,但是这样的结局,显得太无力了,他背负了太多,金正奎的死亡,宝络的爱情.
连宝络都觉得为了哥哥而放弃幸福的太雄却要再次失去幸福是多么的可怜."答应我,一定要幸福的活下去"宝络
最后的请求显得多么悲伤.如果太雄这样的死在LAPLAND,陪着宝络,为从前的小女孩的爱情画上句号,再一次
放弃了幸福,一切就变得不可原谅."她让我再次找到了幸福的感觉"最后的太雄是追求幸福的,和8年前的太雄是
不一样的,8年前的太雄是活在自责之中,现在的太雄是活在幸福之中,因为幸福.他懂得了面对,懂得了去背负,
在LAPLAND是他幸福的归宿,也是他生活的开始.这样的生活才更加艰辛,也更加感人."你不要买往返机票吗,那样
会很便宜的""啊,不用了"去LAPLAND的单程机票,才应该符合太雄的心境.玄彬把太雄诠释的很好,他不是那种坚强
的男子,也不是那种柔弱的人,他的眼神,透着一种对生活的迷失,他曾经放弃幸福而活着,很喜欢玄彬的那种眼神,简单
的尼绒帆布装,大大口袋和挎包,有种颓废的气息,却又透露着希望.很不错.对于金宝络,重症肌无力,身患绝症的千
金小姐,从开始的乖戾,到后来的乖巧.暗示着,她对幸福的追求也是执着的.从徐医生的话可以看出来"真是个奇怪的女
人""好可怜的人,难怪会有那样的脾气"老实说在这部电视剧里,看到了很多种形象的成宥莉,开始的无理取闹,高贵的
千金可爱淘气的恋人,也有最后的乖巧懂事.用心收藏着的BP机和画象,枯萎的铃兰,还有老旧的童话书,真的是很用心
的追求着幸福."总有一天会遇见,跟我一模一样的人,忽然想起我的时候,你会明白你是用眼泪融化我心的人,不能再
见面了,会很悲伤吧""对不起,没能继续和哥哥积累更多的记忆,没能继续陪在哥哥身边,因为先走所以对不起""如果连
这些没说就走,我怕更对不起哥哥""因为你我感到了幸福"最后一切地一切都显得那样悲伤,在绝症面前显得那样无力.
其实整个电视剧都是在讲对幸福的追求,LAPLAND预示着幸福的所在.亲情,友情,爱情的交织,一个又一个因此而生
的矛盾不停的衍生,变换,消逝.让人不得不感动,不得不为主角落泪.加上平实的台词,细腻,而充斥着感情,真的很赚人
眼泪.随着插曲从开始最多出现的"SAY HELLO"慢慢的过渡到了"请抓住我的手",剧情也由此慢慢显出端倪,主角的感
情随之也逐渐热烈起来.
PS:考试期间,依然忍不住看完LE这部电视剧,最后甚至沦落到不想去考试了,整个人的理性细胞完全被摧残得不行了.
厌倦了太多历史题材的电视剧,感觉沉重而无聊,更不喜欢看那些充斥着血腥味的TV,而一便又一便雷同的都市爱
情故事,更让人觉得不屑,最后只能天天看迷失、看越狱,却不是很喜欢那种很直接揭露人性的东西.直到遇见雪剧
才找到了06年电视剧的最爱。看完懂了很多,从前一直认为爱情是彼此的了解和信任,现在才明白那些只是爱情的
基础,而爱情的本质却是彼此的幸福,为了幸福而活着.

给我点阳光我就灿烂

记得高中的时候,好象流行这样的话:给你点阳光,你就灿烂了. ——题记

我想我是不是该到太阳下晒晒
太长时间了好像有点发霉了

有时人很奇怪
一首好听的歌
一句赞美的话
一段简单的文字
一句老朋友的关怀
表达出来的也许是不完全的经意
但接受的人心里多少会有一些欣喜
也许源于
都有一颗感恩的心
有些人也许不善于表达
有些人也许不善于接受

但我想无论何时你接受了任何好的或不好的
都请给它些回应吧

如果你接受了一句赞美
你一定要表示非常开心
并真诚的回赠赞美你的人

如果你听到一首非常动听的歌
不要吝啬
赶快分享给你最喜欢的朋友

如果你喜欢一段文字
那么你可以轻轻的读给自己

如果你很长时间没有和你的好友联系
那么若是不擅言语的你
可以给她发一封e-mail
告诉她最近很想她

如果你遇到一个你非常不喜欢或惹人厌家伙
那么你也没有必要去刻意隐藏自己的感受
对它淡然处之

如果
如果....

不管别人给了你什么
就让自己
给我点阳光
我就灿烂吧~~

Vague

Vague may not be a good thing.It often meas being inextricably involved,and when it comes to
love,it usually follows with the sentiment for never giving up.It maybe sounds quit good,but actually it not be accepted by majority.So people should get down to how to deal with vague things especially like love.Mingling will never be same as mixing.It is a simple principle.However,it looks like that not everybody understand it quit well.So the vague love appears.It hurts someone,discomforts someone,makes someone insomnious.But in fact,more and more people intend to doing this.Would it mean selfish?To say this may be a bit thick,indeed they just attach importance to the feeling in heart instead of the fact in front.their mind are really vague.To solve this problem,just remember to think through things over and over and never make things vague.

water fly

The recollection flourishes on the fingertip     to "water fly"

Water fly,a sentence or even a phrase, be so simple and brief that i couldn't think up why i'm deeply immersed in it.Maybe it is an elegant name,an artistic curve or a fantastic profile.It is full of imaginary,couldn't be touched,but could touch everyone.Some years ago,I came acrossed the phrass which in chinese called "水依" .My deskmate translated it.The exceeding memorable experience followed me like the water stealthily until it broke out when i saw the movie-Myth. The years flied like the water,flying ahead and drawing the tail.Water flowing will leave the imprint,the imprint in mind.Then apropos of the water flying,god may knows.Water fly just be a nice fantasy in order to forget the past.Expecting it will happend ,i fall into a dream..

Figure

Today,when i look through the dictionary ,the word figure appear to my sight.
I stare at it for a long time even that i don't realise i'm aready pulled
into the class three years ago.A shine figure glint so elegantly in front of
me like on sun that I can only make a side-glance.There was a tenderness that
radiated from her,that touched me,ached me.yes,that's really my first lover,
a figure impressed deeply on me.i can't deny that figure is a word of mystery.
It's sophisticated.Today, when you come across some one that you were familiar
with,but you can't remeber his name,he is a figure for you.Then,when some body
run away after doing you a favor,the view of his back may be another figure.In
short,figure is nowhere in daily life.Figure,is an indelible memory with your
past friend,is a flash silhouette of the person who have affect you.Figures com
-prised the recollection,the moment and the furture.It is waiting for you to fig
-ure out.Just appreciet for figure.I loved it.