I have always approached life like someone else has dished up a plate for me at a pot luck dinner. Starting with foods that are familiar to me, I eat those first. It doesn't matter if it is bland, it's what is familiar to me so there are no surprises.
Which leaves me with helpings of different foods that I've never seen and some that look rather questionable. I nibble cautiously at each one, not really getting enough for a real taste. But watching my grandson at mealtime makes me reconsider my methods. Toddlers have a way of getting down to facts and taking life (and lunch) as it is. A toddler's mealtime philosophy:
ANYTHING can be a finger-food
Take big bites
If it's icky, spit it out. If you're passionate about it, throw it over your shoulder (...or on the floor or at the wall) for extra emphasis.
If you can't spit it out, throw it up.
If you can't throw it up, it'll all come out in the end.
For anyone who takes note of dates on blog posts, you will notice a massive gap between this entry and the last. Actors call it going on hiatus. I call it:
I have no intention of going into the gory details since "it" hit the fan, it doesn't really belong on a blog geared for humor. Suffice it to say that my world was turned upside down by a corrupt government organization to the point where I was sure I would never be able to laugh again. The funny thing is, I found that I need to laugh more than ever before. I need to re-find my sense of humor and appetite for life.
So here I am. For better or worse, I have discovered a calling. I have ignored the signs for many years, but no more. Writing humor is what I enjoy. Making people laugh, whether in person or in an online comment, lifts my spirits and energizes me (It may be gullible, but I really believe it when people say "lol") .
I have begun the process of organizing myself to write seriously humorously. They say that the 3 best ways to improve your writing is:
Write
Write some more
Keep writing
So, that's where this blog will serve its next purpose. This is the spot where I'll introduce ideas to mold into chapters of my first book, or record nonsensical thoughts that would best be used to make someone go, "Ha ha...huh?"
Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.
I found this article on a job hunting site. At first, it looked normal. They're advertising for clerical help. Keep reading - they want this person to pick up lumber and appear in court for them.
Oh, I see. You want a Clerical Paralegal Lumberjack - gotcha!
My first semester in community college I took a data processing class, and I was doing very well. I probably could have skipped the final exam and still pulled off an "A", but that's just not my style. At the end of the final, there were 4 extra credit questions worth 5 points each. I'm compulsive; I couldn't hand in the test without doing them.
One of the extra-credit questions basically asked, "If you were going to shop for a computer, what specific things would you look for?" That's just paraphrasing, but you get the gist.
I thought about it for a few minutes. I wasn't that big on hardware features, but I couldn't just leave it blank (see "compulsive" above). I thought I could B.S. my way through it, but instead I opted for simple honesty. I wrote:
I would ask my brother when he's going to update his machine and how much he wants for his old system.
She got such a kick out of it, she had to show it to her assistant. And I got 3/5 points on the question.
From the time my kids started to talk, I worked very carefully with them on pronunciation. If they mispronounced a word, I would slowly enunciate it and then have them repeat each syllable after me.
One day I was in the grocery store with my three-year-old son. As we were entering the pasta aisle, he apparently decided he could teach ME something. He looked up at me and said,
"Mom, can you say buhhh-sskett-teee?"
I thought the woman at the other end of the aisle was going to pee her pants.
I don't want to overload my blog with assorted YouTube videos, but this is really cool. I could watch it over and over again. It's very uplifting and just makes you feel good - enjoy!
As much as I've been scurrying around the Internet lately, I sure am having a lot of fun. Now, let me see...Which blog do I need to check in on now?
I create a new design on Zazzle, tweet about it, read and respond to other tweets, write a new article on eHow, back to Twitter. Twitter is a new thing for me and I love it. The funny thing is, I never expected to like it. Each post is limited to 140 characters, so I have to be succinct.
I've added some new funny t-shirts in my Zazzle gallery, at least I think they're funny. Check them out if you like. If you have a Zazzle account and join my fan club, I will do the same for you. If you don't have Zazzle - why not??? It's fun!!!
Judging from the time lapses between my blog entries, you would think that I've lost interest in any kind of social networking. Quite the contrary, I dove into the deep end of the pool and I'm paddling like crazy to try to stay afloat.
I LOVE getting friend requests or comments, it means that people have found my profile and have an appreciation for my screwy sense of humor. Thank you, I really appreciate that very much. Unfortunately, while I love blogging, at the same time that I discovered it, I also came across a host of other online opportunities for self-expression. With so many distractions (regardless of my enthusiasm for each), it suddenly occurs to me why the dog who chases his tail never gets anywhere.
I promise that I will do my very best to get myself organized and start contributing some chuckles to my blog more regularly. In the meantime, I have a tail to chase...
This is a clip that I found on You Tube from the Carol Burnett show. I can remember seeing the original show, but I didn't remember that the skit had Maggie Smith - it is hilarious!!
My Opera
