Being Alive In Love

Two weeks just isn't enough time! We got up early this morning to take my hubby to the airport to go back to the base. I miss him already - snif!

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For those of you who have been wondering what's been going on with me since early September (my last really meaningful post) here goes:

My husband had surgery on his shoulder in early September. The procedure is called 'Bankart Repair'. Initially we were told (erroneously) that the recovery time would be 6 weeks. When we went to see the doctor for the follow-up visit, we learned that the recovery time is actually more like 6 months. It was a very painful process. My husband could not lay flat, so he essentially had to sleep sitting up. He also needed to take very strong pain medications. Even with these he was still in rather severe pain.

At the end of September we had to move. We got some financial help for this, but almost no physical help, so my husband was forced to be packing up boxes and helping to carry some of them out to the moving containers. His friend who helped us so much ended up moving most of our stuff out of the house into the containers. We ended up needing 3 containers. We really need to pare down!

We moved into the most reasonably-priced place within a half-way reasonable distance from home base (our son's school, our church, my parents' house, etc.). Our first night sleeping here a mouse scurried across the floor in front of us when we were on our way into the bedroom. I really hate having to deal with mice, but the landlord hired an exterminator to get them under control. He's going to have to have some structural stuff done to the house, though because they are still getting in. 8 months later I am still looking at boxes and wondering how I'll ever get them unpacked and put away.

My husband applied for medical benefits, and because of a delay in receiving paperwork, it was the end of October before we received any benefit money. We also found out that the benefit amount was only going to be just under $1000.00 per month - less than 40% of our monthly expenses. It was going to be hard. We applied for and got financial assistance to cover our son's monthly tuition, so at least that was covered. We also found a hospital where he could do outpatient physiotherapy so it was covered by our medical insurance. At the end of December, my husband's medical benefits were cut off. He started looking for work right away & applied for regular unemployment benefits. Unfortunately he was not sufficiently recovered to take just any sort of work. He also applied for several Class B contracts with the military. He was accepted for one.

On February 6th 2009, my husband left for his posting. The term of the contract is 15 months. He will have vacation time, and the military will pay for transportation to & from home once during the term of the contract. Any other visits we will have to pay for ourselves. He has his own room & has arranged for high-speed internet service (the ISP gives military folks a discount), so we can e-mail, chat, and talk via our soft phones nearly every day.

Since he's been away we have been recovering financially (albeit slowly). He was promoted to Corporal on April 16th, which is supposed to come with a raise, so hopefully we can actually get caught up on things.

Right now he's away from the base on a training exercise, so we haven't spoken to him since 30 April, and won't have any contact again until 10 May (Mother's Day). I'll have to do the Mother's Day thing with my Mom on Saturday so my son & I can be home Sunday evening to devote it to talking with my husband.

We both really miss him. I am exhausted much of the time & struggling with depression & anxiety. I also have to try to help my son to cope with missing his Papa, and deal with the behavioural issues he has at home and at school. I'm sure my son is quite bewildered seeing me struggle with not knowing which end is up or what to do first. I hate having to be tough with him, but if I don't he won't learn to be a good boy. Still, he knows I love him.

We are so thankful to all of the friends, family, and other benefactors that helped us out so much during our recent period of severe financial difficulty. We prayed for help, and God prompted these people to help us. Thank you Lord!!!!

Sweetie, if you happen to read this: I LOVE YOU TONS!!!!

Click to see map. Maybe one day I'll get to visit more.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&ie=UTF8&msa=0&msid=102440258124591500209.000461f6c8a75dda8d532&z=4

Well, it's official. I don't think I've ever had so much reason to be so scared in my whole life. Time for some spiritual battle!

My husband got back from training on the 22nd of August safe and sound. He passed his course, and is now a fully-qualified MP. On arrival, he did as instructed and contacted his boss about coming back to work. There has been no response! I picked up his ROE (record of employment) after he left for training, and the "not returning" box was checked. I had hoped it was a clerical error. Guess this means he's out of a job. Since he has to have surgery on 30 September and will have to be on medical leave for at least 6 weeks afterward, nobody thusfar has been willing to hire him.

His end-of-the-month pay from his military training trip was almost enough to pay September's rent - about $100.00 short.

At the end of September, we're supposed to be moving - so we also have to figure out how to pay another damage deposit and first month's rent, plus pay for the means to actually accomplish the move (i.e. relocatable containers), in addition to our regular bills, food, etc. Since our move day is also my husband's surgery day, we are going to need lots of physical help with the move too. To say the least, we are starting to pack already. I collected lots of boxes while my husband was away.

On top of it all, the van broke Sunday night. Hopefully it'll be something simple to fix, but we still can't afford to actually do it, so my parents are going to try to help us - again. Our son starts kindergarten on Wednesday, and it's too far to walk. My Dad will probably be willing to drive us to/from school for a while - I hope. I feel terrible having to get help from my parents. After all - they aren't a whole lot better off than we are.

It's really not fair for our little guy's first day of school to be overshadowed by all of this! He's so excited, and looks so cute in his uniform!

We are trying to sell my desk (a huge corporate reception desk that I inherited when an office I was working in closed down), and my husband's wet suit to raise some money, but there has been little response.

I will also have to write a letter to our pastor to see about getting financial assistance for our son's first few months of tuition and school fees.

We've been looking at the ads for places to stay, but there seem to be very few that we would (normally) be able to afford. Under normal circumstances our rent & utilities budget is $800/month or less. Rents in this area have sky-rocketed!

We've both been praying hard and my husband has been looking for work every day. He has to request documentation from the Army & his casual job before he can apply for unemployment benefits (which could take a while knowing how fast things happen with the Army) & who knows how long it'll take for the benefits to actually start coming. I might be able to pick up some extra hours at work, but I can't afford to overdo it since I just started back after 10 months of medical leave (I'm still not 100%, but getting better). As things stand, what I make working Saturday mornings doesn't even cover what our babysitter would charge us to look after our son once every 2 weeks. This month, my husband has training with the platoon on 3 Saturdays, so he won't be able to take care of our son while I'm at work. He does get paid for training, but there isn't enough of that going on to support us (usually only about 6 days a month).

To say the least, we're praying for a real miracle! Please pray with us!

In the meantime I have to remind myself that God will not leave us orphans, and he will provide for our needs according to his riches - not ours.

Well, it's summer time again & that means my hubby has gone for more military training.

This summer being alone with my son has been easier, but money and health worries weigh heavy.

Here's a picture of my guys the day before my hubby left:



My son didn't want me to take any pictures of him that day, so I had to do it sneakily.

When my husband comes home from this course, he'll be wearing a crimson red beret to signify that he has completed the training to be a qualified MP (Military Police Officer).

We also don't know exactly what he'll be doing when he gets back. Will he return to his civilian job? Will he be offered a full-time position with the military? Will he have to find a new civilian job? At the end of September, we have 2 real biggies coming up. My husband will have surgery to repair the damage caused to his shoulder during our last move, and, yes, we have to move again! Hopefully this time we'll have lots of help because my husband won't be able to do anything physical for at least 6 weeks following his surgery & the surgery is the morning of moving day.

To say the least, I've been doing a lot of praying, and planning. I've been trying to sell anything we don't need to try to get some extra money to get us through this next couple of months. I'm going to be sorting through our stuff & packing up as much as I can on my own until my husband gets back. I'm also going to be taking some business e-courses to help me get my home-based business rolling to generate some real income. I've also got a mountain of paperwork to get through after we move.

Moving is a real daunting task for us. Actually just finding a suitable place for our family that we can afford with housing costs in this area being so high can be difficult. Now we also have to take into consideration the fact that our son is enrolled in school for September, and we need to be reasonably close to that. Please pray for us.