Life And Other Things

That is real heart felt beauty! Cry out from deep within.

Beautifully written.

hi, janis j.

i know, thank you for your confidence.
stop hating
me, i hate to live, my face, my body, to eat, to sh.., to work,
to keep myself clean, being dirty, scall, hair in the soup,
whores, dirty underwear, leftovers, fanatics, dog pooh at shoe,
(wo)men in suits and with noses up, superficial people,
small minded ignorants, throwing food away, barking dogs,
little barking dogs, cute all-dominating mothers, drunken fathers ...
and so on and so on. it's an endless list.

i like sleeping, but it doesn't work well enough.
i always wake up, about every 12 hours.

a whole lot of money.
in europe they arrived 100 euros, even bit more.
ok, there concerts for 50 and up.
but i prefere to sing myself under the shower.
it's not payed, but i save a lot of money.

no money? oops. heavy.
and you are a groupie?
going with the band realy sounds like something.
if your mother would hear this ...

ah, that's cool - wicked cool.
loads of fun.

never trust a musician.
they are like butterflies.

you see?
i don't like to stay to long also.

music will never die.
maybe life is just built by some accords
played on a whatever instrument.

the univers are waves
long or short range, compressed to material stuff
invisible, colored, hot, cold, deadly, life supporting

continue by yourself, please.

it doesn't matter.
you are not on this earth to learn some keys
and who says, they key is like that?

life is music (that's what we call it)
tomorrow they put me in the magnetic resonance imaging tunnel.
i think they copy me.
doctors are bandits, they are making pirate copies.
damn little hackers.

i have a tumor
and gallows humor
a ball, big like feast
but not aggressive
is hurting me
i just say meh.

ah, you listen to some musik
close your eyes
and think nothing.

for me it is more important
to know the verity
than to live with closed eyes.
some things seem to be easier now.

what for? (i was talking of being inside the machine)
i was in that machine before, just the head.
it was a beginning but not enough.
i'm a luminary.
i'm a winner.
i knew more than a whole bunch of doctors.
and i pushed them in the right direction.
i'm so great ...
love myself.

i know.
i whish i wouldn't have it.
but what can we do.
i try to continue like a big hulk of man.
we all will fall one day
and others will take our place (maybe)
or even not.

i am unique, a solitaire.
in africa they say this.
there is no other white man like me.
they will be very sad about a wrong end of my life book also.

but this thing is growing now for, i fear, whole life.
and they made me a hypochondriac (tried to).
now, the thing is big, they have to accept.
i realy see it as a victory (victoria is my great grandmother).
the little doctor, who had the courage to put me into the machine
has gained the laurels.
all the others feared the complications with the health insurance.
they told me to keep upright like a man.
stupid ignorants.

criminal!
suckers.

i'm so happy my stomach flu has left me.
just some weakness has left in the brain.
waiting for next mondey.

i go and kill a doctor.
no, it's the 15th of the month.
then i can calculate the remaining two weeks better.

weakness? - i mean, tired, tired tired
somebody ask you something like "how many ...?" or "one and one is what?"
and you would like to beat him
but you are not able to lift one little finger.
realy tired.
but you have slept 24 hours yet.
that's weakness i'm talking about.

there are no pills.
that's ok.
and i like to sleep.
it's wintertime.

i don't want to become hooked.

i'm eternal.

i just take paracetamol, ibuprophen and things like that.
and only sometimes.
all the other work i let to my immune system.
if it's not strong enough, it's balderdash.

i like balderdash with potatos!
maybe carraway.

or balderdash stirred with mashed bananas, juice of lemon, lemon zest, SHUGAR and milk to make him smooth.

1st you put SHUGAR into a bowl.
then the lemon juice over it to bind it
or the balderdash will be spoiled.
then you put the balderdash int hte bowl and stir it.
mash the bananas and add it to the bowls content stiring.
to make the thing smoth add the milk with the lemon zest.
if you like you eat this with "Flinsen", a kind of pancake.

250 gr weatflour
4 eggs (or onyl 1 or two)
300 ml milk (1 glass)
100 ml sparkeling water
1 pinch of salt
50 gr (clarryfied) butter, margerine, oil

bake it in a hot pan
with a soup-ladle you can portionate (it's fluid)
when it's baked on one side - turn on other
then keep it toasty in the oven until all are finished.

good appetite
with poor peoples fun

he he.
the best way to stop it is to eat it.

i can cook
and i don't speak from fried eggs.
but mostly i'm to lazy.
my wife loves me too much.
but sometimes, but only sometimes,
she's happy when i manage the kitchen.

my mother has educated me
not to be hooked on any woman.

it's about the german women.
they are very money oriented - i assume.

i had two german women.
all others were aliens.
but the two f...ed me up like all the others together.
they chomped 20 years of my life.
but i could get rid of them.
africa was to far.
one didn't like africans (she still used the word nigger)
and the other one lived in a cloud-cukoo-land.

yes, all women behave the same, just like women do.
but the difference is in the way they do it.
of cause there are other german women,
but the temperament is kind of slow.
like they have to reinvent it every minute.
it's a fault of education.
the intellectual side is - i would say - suppressed.
it exists, but they don't know what to do with it.