Internet saturation, and dark thoughts.
Friday, June 10, 2011 5:43:25 AM
I was fairly involved with an online message board and Twitter for some time, until it just got to be too much for me. I'm all for tolerance and understanding, but the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fanfic (complete with romance between the turtles, and an attempt at turtle biology) was simply too much.
Did I mention this was a knitting-oriented message board?
I'm burned out. It's gone beyond LOLcats and funny memes. I don't need to know what everyone in the entire 7 billion person planet is thinking at any given moment, or when their bowels move, or when they dump their boyfriends.
I'd like to think there's a common good out there regarding the hive mind. That we can pitch together and change things. The rational part of my brain doesn't see this happening any time soon, and it's depressing me.
They say you have to hit bottom before you can improve. Well, I think I've memeparty and lolcatted myself into sobriety here. In a manner of speaking; after all, this is still a blog.
Today on the local radio, the headline they insisted on replaying was the courtroom testimony of a rape survivor. She was one of a lesbian couple who woke to find an intruder in their bedroom. Shh, the intruder said. I won't hurt you. Believing this, they didn't fight back as he sexually assaulted them for 90 minutes.
Then he stabbed her partner to death.
The murderer was caught and is on trial right now. He has been barred from the courtroom for being disruptive, and must watch proceedings on closed-circuit television. He spits and shouts at the cameras. He claims insanity: and he must be insane, to be so violent, so obscene, so cruel. Still, something isn't convincing. I think it's the way he looks at the camera, the way he's aware of his own horrible celebrity. I'm no proponent of the death penalty, but I can't see the benefit to anyone of him continuing to consume oxygen.
I'm angry. I temporarily gave up writing to pursue a pharmacy degree. I want to work in a science-related field; I'd like to help others; I'd like to do good. I'd also like to keep writing, but the problem is, I've got these opinions. The world is a beautiful, terrible place, and writing helps me--helps me maybe not understand it, because I don't think anyone honestly could understand why these ghastly things occur, let alone sufficiently explain them--but it does help me get by.
So, I'll write.