A Blog according to Moickel

Ah the countryside, ye canny beat it...or should I say, ah the country park across the road from my house. Ye canny beat how easy it makes it to walk the dog.Today, Louie and I went for a walk to soak in the clean air and be amazed at mother nature.
We saw trees that had fallen over due to the weight of snow that had accumulated on them last week

We observed that the icicles which had formed two weeks ago still hadn't thawed

And then we saw this

Now, that stump is a foot high. Closer inspection revealed that since that since whatever dog had done it, it hadn't been touched.Now , unless it's owners routinely carry a spatula that means the dog dumped straight on there.
So I began to wonder, how the hell did it manage that? There are, I think, three options available here.
1)The circus was in town and a gymnastic dog hopped up on one leg and did it just to show off
2)The dog was enormous and did what comes naturally without even noticing the stump was there.
3)The owners lifted the dog up there and made it crap on the stump.
I have no idea which it was so maybe you can help. Answers on a postcard to 221b Baker Street

Dr Moickel Watson

Once upon a time, in a restaurant far far away....I had the best burger I've ever had. It was in a place called Monk Mc Queens, which is situated on the waterfront in a small village call Vancouver, which is in the colonies. Now, the reason this was so good was due to the actual burger, or patty, which had pork sausage meat in it as well as beef. If I remember correctly it was 17.50 Canadian dollars but was worth every cent.I haven't had a burger since I came back for two reasons. 1) I would be disapointed as it wouldn't be as good as Monk's, 2) I came back from Canada weighing 15 and a half stones.
And here is the best burger in the world, served with homemade chips and beer. Perfect.

However, this week I got a craving. I really, really wanted a really, really good burger and the only thing to do was to make it myself.
I gathered up young Angus and we set about trying to recreate that sensational meal in the colonies. After a small 'Simpsons like' disagreement about the ingredients we got work.

Our recipe consisted of , minced beef, two cumberland sausages (skinned),red onion, soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, and a shit load of black pepper. I put Angus to work mixing up the concoction

The patties actually looked great after some careful moulding. We went for UK standard size as oppossed to Canadian Big Boy size

Big Daddy fired up the griddle and we burned us some meat

Now, the most important thing about a burger, after the patty, is the condiments. I was almost deported from the colonies by Bryan 'Burger King' Cox , as I once ate a burger in front of him with no condiments. So, with this in mind I went to the shop and bought in a few. By the way, the Heinz Twisted Ketchup (chilli flavour) is worth a go.

I then built my burger as follows: toasted bun, smothered in mayo, patty, relish, tomato, iceburg lettuce, tomato, patty, chilli sauce, iceburg lettuce, red onion,ketchup smothered top bun. Oh yes..you like that don't you...

Come to papa

while Angus and I dripped burger relish all over ourselves, Jane tucked into her vegetarian option, spaghetti with a dust and dog hair sauce. mmmmm....

All in all a very worthwhile excersise, and a while my burger wasn't as good as Monk's it tasted great to me and Angus. And Bryan is right, you really need to top up that bad boy with all the condiments.

Mick Mad Monk

And so it came to pass that six hardened party people heard the drums and travelled to the Eden Festival. The sun shone all weekend and we drank and ate and partied through the whole weekend...or did we??
It wearies my heart to have to report that certain individuals let themselves, the Family, and their generation down.
First up your honour is this man, seen here during the day (and there's a hint!) recreating an infamous scene from Silence of the Lambs...I know, it made me feel a bit sick as well

Let me commit the facts to you. Friday night, tucked up by 10 pm. Saturday night, a big repeat of Friday night. He is 31 YEARS OLD!!! And here he is close up with Jules and Alex (both tucked up by 10pm Friday night )At least they have an excuse, what with being from Embra!

Before he went to bed he found a novel way of keeping Helen in her place

Meanwhile, Pat and I flew the freak flag

At some point during our executive lunch I decided to stick prawns up my nose

A rare sighting of certain people out and about after dark

Moments after this picture was taken it was curtains for G

We all had a wee sit down later on in the evening. I'm 45 ye know!

As we know, the fishgutters diet consists of crisps and cider. Here is positive proof of Jules trying to show me the Mallaig way of life!

Ach, I love big G really. We always get together for a wee drink

I heard G and Jules redeemed themselves on the Sunday night. Can't wait to see the photos.....

Moickel up till dead late

The sun shone....The sun shone.....I'll say it again ...the sun shone!
Dfest 17 rolled into town last week and brought some sunshine in it's pocket.
The Family set up camp early on Friday afternoon so as to secure a good position for the memorable set by Me...and Sam of Son, and the Tower of Love, and the Tinribs of Love.

Being modest about my talent is what draws so many people to see me perform. Not only that, I am happy to share the stage with up and coming artists as we see here.

All the kids come down the front when I'm on the ones and twos

The drummer gets in the mood

Talking of the drummer, Ian's new band played a stormer of a set

On the saturday the Executive Lunch club was set up at Pat's tent

Good advice for all christians

Paul continues his old aged pensioner training

Still crazy after all these years. Me and ma wee brother hold each other up

Finally the Milk and Alchohol boys. The simply wonderful Seventh Sons

Twas a belter

moickel in Exile

During the previous few weeks there has been a concensus of opinion that the boys had to get the hell out of Dodge and go somewhere remote , build a fire, and drink until we stink.The decision was made that we would go to southend beach, just south of Campbeltown on the Mull of Kintyre.
Some of the boys decided to take the motorcycles.
I, being someone who falls off motorcycles, volunteered to supply the support vehicle for the trip.
Here I am on the ferry from Gourick to Dunoon with big Pat's new 1300cc Yamaha and a car full of support

On a previous blog I waxed lyrical about beautiful B.C. This is the kind of view that Scotland can produce.

Here we see Deek, Bryan, Bet the vet, Kenny and Pat "executive Lounge" passing round the rum. The white dots on the photo are raindrops. We're mad.

Bryan and Betty got a new car .It's called a Kangoo.1.5 turbo . You figure it out,

Pat and I, being executive campers had a lovely lunch on the beach

Another picture of Pat's new bike. Just because....

Deek and Claire spent the entire weekend joined at the hip, earning themselves the nicknames "Mills and Boon"

Base camp. Bryan, Kenny, Bet the vet, Stevie, and Mills and Boon enjoy the sun

Southend beach in all it's splendour

Happiness

Drunkeness

Me and the Big Fella get it on

Bryan tries to get it on with Bet the Vet

Ted accuses Pat of soberness


A good for the soul weekend


moickel "back to reality"