Separation
Monday, 28. August 2006, 15:45:30
Separation (1)
Well, what kind of feeling I am having now…After putting my daughter to sleep and finishing some necessary cleaning, again, I sit in front of pc, and roam in bbs for a while, but I have no mood to give responses to friends’ articles, well, I will do that tomorrow…and now it’s really time for me to write something overwhelming me - just kind of memory maybe, otherwise, I will let the special feelings vanish again…
Tomorrow will be a very important time in my daughter’s life, for she will be a student in Primary school. As to what kind of school she will study in, we discussed a lot. Actually, there is a primary school close to my school, and most of my colleagues’ children study there, but it won’t work for me. I don’t live in school, and it’s impossible for me to pick up my daughter four times a day. Besides, from this year, the regulation of my school is more and more demanding and hard to bear… I just don’t want to expose my daughter in the potential danger from traffic. So later, we finally decided a boarding school for her, which means she will stay in the school for five days and come back only on weekends. How cruel it is for me to make the decision! But what can I do else? According to the regulations of school, all teachers are required to stay in the office for almost two hours in the school six nights a week, let alone in the daytime. So generally, I come back at almost 9pm, then prepare something for her to eat, at the same time, I am online a while, after that, I will guide her do some cleaning. I usually read her some bed time story before she falls asleep. By that time, it is almost half past ten already. I just can’t afford to let her sleep so late when she starts primary school. So I have to let her try a brand new life…
I did some shopping a few days ago, and helped her buy some requisites needed for an independent life. These days, my daughter was busy making something, after all, she is so talented in making things with her flexible hands. One day, when I came back from work, she gave me a gift made by herself.
“Mum, I will be separated from you, thus I make this gift for you. When you miss me, please see it…”
My eyes were blurred with tears…At that moment ,I felt very guilty for the time I criticized her sharply just due to some naughty behaviors she performed, anyway, she is still a kid of six, the right age to be naughty…
Tonight, when I came back from work, she was watching cartoon with great interest. Because I have already prepared well for what she needs to take tomorrow, so as usual, I opened pc. After a while, she came forward,
“Mum, please help me play some background music, I want to dance for you.”
I had to obey. I found the recorder and played some children song for her. She danced to the music slowly, gradually, she was part of the music! She is so creative, for she didn’t learn dancing before, but every action is so harmonious with music that it’s difficult for you to believe she just danced according to her feelings. Again, my eyes blurred, for in front me is dancing a beautiful angel , with her sweet smile, graceful supple movement…
Later, because it’s a bit late, I put her to bed again.
Now, I am facing the pc, with kind of complicated feelings. I am afraid my mind is in a mess now, so forgive me if I made some careless mistakes…Actually, this is the second separation with her since she was born. Two years ago, when she was four, I happened to have a chance to study in a training centre in UK for one month. I bought a telephone card. Every two or three days, I would gave her a call. Still remembering the scene clearly, our missing just drenched the line……
I have no idea what will happen to her tomorrow, but it’s a new phase of her life and I just hope she could adapt to the new environment quickly and live happily…
May God bless her!
Separation2
Then she has started her first day in the boarding since yesterday…I asked for half a day’s leave from work so that I could help her settle down in the new environment. After I came back home, I did a through cleaning, for in the past, it’s impossible for me to make our home clean and tidy. My daughter is so energetic and always tries every means to make up new things. Besides, my spare time is so limited, even I arrange everything in order, it will become a mess again and my effort usually proves in vain. So later I only did cleaning after she fell asleep at night and told myself her pleasure should go first…Now that she was at school, it’s time for me to keep everything in order again…Because I was occupied with so much work to do, I didn’t miss her too much.
I had two classes that afternoon, during the break in between, suddenly the happy scenes in the past flashed before me and I just couldn’t resist the overwhelming feelings and tears moistened my eyes. I felt a bit embarrassed, for the break was short and I didn’t want to be found out by students, so I had to draw my mind back to reality…
That evening, my hubby was on duty in his company. I had thought I could spend a bit longer online to relax myself that night. When I came back from work at 9pm ,I got a phone call from my hubby, and he informed me his friend would come to my home and let me help translate something. Frankly, I felt very unhappy for the fact that his friends always asked me to do some translation work. Generally, the materials are too professional, and I don’t have some related dictionaries to help. But how could I refuse it ?Later his friends came with a lot of materials to be translated. My God, too many professional terms! He said his leader wanted the material urgently. I had to accept it with a long face . I had my own work to do after all and whenever I came back home, I usually felt extremely tired and exhausted. But I had to burn the midnight’s oil for a person who just wanted to please his leader at the cost of my hard work. It was not that I didn’t want to help, the material was too professional and it really took up too much of my energy. Since I had no choice, the night found me struggling in the boring translation for almost four hours. When I finished, it’s almost 2 am. I typed altogether eleven pages. Anyway, it was done finally.
After I finished some cleaning, I went to bed. Suddenly, I felt so empty in heart. No longer could I hear her familiar breath, suddenly tears streamed down…She should count so much in my heart! She should be the real source of happiness in my life! My life was accustomed to her laughter and naughty behavior that it suddenly became so hollow when she left! I felt so guilty for the time I lost temper just because of her some naughty behavior...
Well, what kind of feeling I am having now…After putting my daughter to sleep and finishing some necessary cleaning, again, I sit in front of pc, and roam in bbs for a while, but I have no mood to give responses to friends’ articles, well, I will do that tomorrow…and now it’s really time for me to write something overwhelming me - just kind of memory maybe, otherwise, I will let the special feelings vanish again…
Tomorrow will be a very important time in my daughter’s life, for she will be a student in Primary school. As to what kind of school she will study in, we discussed a lot. Actually, there is a primary school close to my school, and most of my colleagues’ children study there, but it won’t work for me. I don’t live in school, and it’s impossible for me to pick up my daughter four times a day. Besides, from this year, the regulation of my school is more and more demanding and hard to bear… I just don’t want to expose my daughter in the potential danger from traffic. So later, we finally decided a boarding school for her, which means she will stay in the school for five days and come back only on weekends. How cruel it is for me to make the decision! But what can I do else? According to the regulations of school, all teachers are required to stay in the office for almost two hours in the school six nights a week, let alone in the daytime. So generally, I come back at almost 9pm, then prepare something for her to eat, at the same time, I am online a while, after that, I will guide her do some cleaning. I usually read her some bed time story before she falls asleep. By that time, it is almost half past ten already. I just can’t afford to let her sleep so late when she starts primary school. So I have to let her try a brand new life…
I did some shopping a few days ago, and helped her buy some requisites needed for an independent life. These days, my daughter was busy making something, after all, she is so talented in making things with her flexible hands. One day, when I came back from work, she gave me a gift made by herself.
“Mum, I will be separated from you, thus I make this gift for you. When you miss me, please see it…”
My eyes were blurred with tears…At that moment ,I felt very guilty for the time I criticized her sharply just due to some naughty behaviors she performed, anyway, she is still a kid of six, the right age to be naughty…
Tonight, when I came back from work, she was watching cartoon with great interest. Because I have already prepared well for what she needs to take tomorrow, so as usual, I opened pc. After a while, she came forward,
“Mum, please help me play some background music, I want to dance for you.”
I had to obey. I found the recorder and played some children song for her. She danced to the music slowly, gradually, she was part of the music! She is so creative, for she didn’t learn dancing before, but every action is so harmonious with music that it’s difficult for you to believe she just danced according to her feelings. Again, my eyes blurred, for in front me is dancing a beautiful angel , with her sweet smile, graceful supple movement…
Later, because it’s a bit late, I put her to bed again.
Now, I am facing the pc, with kind of complicated feelings. I am afraid my mind is in a mess now, so forgive me if I made some careless mistakes…Actually, this is the second separation with her since she was born. Two years ago, when she was four, I happened to have a chance to study in a training centre in UK for one month. I bought a telephone card. Every two or three days, I would gave her a call. Still remembering the scene clearly, our missing just drenched the line……
I have no idea what will happen to her tomorrow, but it’s a new phase of her life and I just hope she could adapt to the new environment quickly and live happily…
May God bless her!
Separation2
Then she has started her first day in the boarding since yesterday…I asked for half a day’s leave from work so that I could help her settle down in the new environment. After I came back home, I did a through cleaning, for in the past, it’s impossible for me to make our home clean and tidy. My daughter is so energetic and always tries every means to make up new things. Besides, my spare time is so limited, even I arrange everything in order, it will become a mess again and my effort usually proves in vain. So later I only did cleaning after she fell asleep at night and told myself her pleasure should go first…Now that she was at school, it’s time for me to keep everything in order again…Because I was occupied with so much work to do, I didn’t miss her too much.
I had two classes that afternoon, during the break in between, suddenly the happy scenes in the past flashed before me and I just couldn’t resist the overwhelming feelings and tears moistened my eyes. I felt a bit embarrassed, for the break was short and I didn’t want to be found out by students, so I had to draw my mind back to reality…
That evening, my hubby was on duty in his company. I had thought I could spend a bit longer online to relax myself that night. When I came back from work at 9pm ,I got a phone call from my hubby, and he informed me his friend would come to my home and let me help translate something. Frankly, I felt very unhappy for the fact that his friends always asked me to do some translation work. Generally, the materials are too professional, and I don’t have some related dictionaries to help. But how could I refuse it ?Later his friends came with a lot of materials to be translated. My God, too many professional terms! He said his leader wanted the material urgently. I had to accept it with a long face . I had my own work to do after all and whenever I came back home, I usually felt extremely tired and exhausted. But I had to burn the midnight’s oil for a person who just wanted to please his leader at the cost of my hard work. It was not that I didn’t want to help, the material was too professional and it really took up too much of my energy. Since I had no choice, the night found me struggling in the boring translation for almost four hours. When I finished, it’s almost 2 am. I typed altogether eleven pages. Anyway, it was done finally.
After I finished some cleaning, I went to bed. Suddenly, I felt so empty in heart. No longer could I hear her familiar breath, suddenly tears streamed down…She should count so much in my heart! She should be the real source of happiness in my life! My life was accustomed to her laughter and naughty behavior that it suddenly became so hollow when she left! I felt so guilty for the time I lost temper just because of her some naughty behavior...
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