webl

apparently, my favorite poet's disappeared. _why this is i have no idea, but i sure hope it wasn't because i prodded him on twitter, requesting him to create some more of his awesome poetry (in which case i sincerely apologize). anyways, i decided to give it a go myself, though of course the results won't be near as wicked cool as the originals.

this boat is big enough for two
only one of us'll have to hug the mast
on the leeward side the fish may speak to us
but you'll be the only one to understand what they're saying

the pier is made from nothing but tinsel
why this is noone knows, because the man who built it
now runs an autoshop in smallville
repairing carburetors with angel hair pasta and hot sauce

my nail polish's coming off, time to remove it i guess. no that's not part of the poem.

i havn't written here in a long time, and in truth i don't know when i will again. i've grown tired of this media - finding a title, adding tags, proof reading. it all gets to me, to the extent that i can't be bothered. twitter was fun for a while, but while it's really easy to tweet the 140 char limit's really annoying. i've considered tumblr, which seems to be more in line with what i want, but i sortof doubt i can be bothered with that either.
lots and lots of stuff has happened. well, not really, things are mostly the same, but that doesn't matter. first things first, i've gotten rid of my toyota and bought myself a propper car - white 1979 camaro z28 t-top, with a 350 cu in (5.7L) v8 engine. it's totally awesome, though i'll need to fix it up some. first off electrics need a good going through. after that steering - it's supposed to be that way i guess, a little loose, and after driving it back and forth to gbg i've gotten used to it somewhat, but i think i'll check if i can get it just a notch tighter anyways. then there are the interiors, this car's weakest point. sis suggested zebra, but i think that'd be too much work since the original interior's beige brown and it'd be hell replacing the good parts. buffy's gf suggested panther, which i think sounds really cool. or maybe i can come up with the real (heh) fur pattern of the "small, vicious animal that eats mustangs". i really, really like the t-top - didn't think it'd provide as much cool-down as it did, but it does, it really works wonders. sure, it's a bit of a bother if you have to make a lengthy stop somewhere and spend time away from the car, but it's so worth it. the first thing i did when i'd bought it was remove the wunder-baum - there's still a slight tint of vanilla to the air from time to time - just the odd whiff - but it's getting better. in place of it i've hung my metaltown band, and i have every intention of providing company in the form of a sonisphere band after i've been there.
but anyways, i drove down to gbg thu in my kick-ass camaro, thinking most of the time, listening to death and jimi hendrix on the slow sections. i guess the downside to a t-top is if it's on a v8 it's really hard to hear the music when driving highway speeds - then, i guess the sound of a v8's a kind of music in itself. went swimming w buffy, then picked up his gf and had a beer on the grass outside his apartment. a police car came by and three cops went in the next door. they stayed a really long time, not sure what was going on, and it being a white trash neighbourhood there was rubbernecking galore. i fucking hate that.
we missed out on trivium because the line was so long to get in. i and buffy's gf went for a swim before lunch and picked up buffy at work afterwards. then went to mc store to look for chaps, which they didn't have, and bought a pair of black leather pants in stead, the kind you can tighten on the sides. expensive, but i figured it couldn't be helped, it was worth it, and then the guy in the cash register informed me they were on a 70% discount - with the discount my jeans are more expensive. buffy also wanted a pair of hardrock pants, but they didn't have his size, so he wore shorts instead. one thing about black leather pants - they're fucking hot. especially in the sun, when it's close to thirty degrees centigrade in the shadow. it so was worth it though.
met a personal trainer, really nice girl that buffy sortof-knew from internet. as i said, really nice, and also good for me i guess. made me realize not all 30+ girls are self-centered, deteriorated of body and mind and with three kids, all of which have different fathers - that they can be really cute and sweet as well. it was really nice holding her hand, something like what holden describes i guess, in catcher in the rye. not bothersome or awkward, just - nice. sortof hope i get to meet her again, didn't really get to spend any time with her on sat, or at least not the kind that counts. i guess it's always a bit awkward the next day, even if you don't spend the night. and then all these fucking games, always the games. i had buffy and a friend of his to help me, or at least correct me when i was about to make a tit out of myself for acting like i was interested, which i was, but i don't like it one bit. i think i know what i'm supposed to do most of the time but it just feels so wrong. on fri, after we'd started kissing and she'd found a friend she had to talk to i really had to steel myself not to go looking for her like i wanted, to start talking to some other girls instead, and of course that worked like a charm, she came back with renewed interest, but i don't want to have to do that. not ask but tell when i text her, wait ten minutes before answering, acting indifferent, it's just not how i'd like to roll. i'd rather just do what i want, what i feel like.
sometimes i feel absolutely jaded. totally indifferent to everything, everything save human contact. feeling someones skin, tasting someones lips or, with the right girl, just holding hands. then i see opeth live, and i know it's not gotten that bad, not yet, there're still other things i can enjoy. yet, i cannot really shake the feeling that most of the time i'm just a spectator, even when participating. sure, there's fun stuff, i do fun stuff, but it's just not the same anymore, hasn't been for a long time. sometimes i shine through, the clouds part and i can see the sky. i think too much, all the time - buffy must've told me that twenty times this weekend, and i know he's right. more right than he knows, he thinks it's just about girls when it's about anything, everything.
sat was interesting, despite not hanging out too much with the pt. after the concerts and a stop at a really weird place where the bartenders were more interested in looking like buster keaton (in a bad way) than in serving drinks we ended up at sticky fingers. i got so happy, because they had medieval madness, the pinball game i used to play at sf before they decided they shouldn't have pinball games anymore, and i won a few credits so buffy and his friend could play. then she left, and we hung around the bar jumping to the music and drinking scotch-and-sodas, if you can still call it that when it's made with jack. there was this girl, must've been around 20, that was acting so weird - in a good way - that when it was closing time i just had to ask her if i could kiss her, and when to my surprise she let me i just had to verify that she was in fact not going to bring me home - to which she laughed and said of course she wasn't. me and buffy needed burgers ofc, and after that and buying snacks and candy at 7-eleven the trams'd started running so we took one home instead of a taxi. well, home... buffy lives in the fucking jungle, so it was like an hour's walk (including detours and such, maybe 30 min sober) from the tram to the apartment. his gf (who's really tollerant and generally nice and good) had expressed worries and somehow buffy hadn't managed to keep in touch, but she was really cool about it all. buffy'd had perhaps half a gt too many to sleep though so we sat outside in dressing gowns drinking water and talking. buffy's the kind of guy uses paracord and a carabiner to (fail to) keep track of his keys, and using this as a thrown weapon he managed to hit himself in the head. once we'd stopped laughing enough we could actually talk again we speculated over exactly where the police'd drive two bathrobed, barefeet, pickled-to-the-gills lunatics laughing their asses off, one walking around with a glass of water, the other one rolling on the grass next to a metal pitcher clutching his head. conclusion: probably not "some place nice".
i guess there should be more about the music here... meshuggah was really cool, and we had a fun time moshing to pilgrimz. still, as always, opeth... somehow it never ceases to amaze me just how good they are, how tight, how fun. how noone can hold a candle to them live, not even meshuggah.

i've been listening to crack the skye since after lunch, when i bought it. there was a new guy in the record store, not the one i usually buy from, and he claimed it wasn't to be released until tomorrow (that happens a lot - i guess we're always a day behind here in sweden) and was unwilling to sell it to me, but i managed to convince him it was ok. i think i'm getting the hang of the album now, sortof. it doesn't really work listening to a new album at work, or at least it doesn't work the same way since you can't really focus on the music when coding. i did that with tool initially, and it took a long while before i realized i liked them, but by then a lot of the stuff had gotten to me somewhat subconsciously, and not in an entirely bad way. actively listening to them became real fun, because i had a hunch i really knew the songs. anyways, i've gone from somewhat liking crack the skye to believing i'm going to really like it soon. it felt different first, the song much softer, not as harch as before, but now i get the same feeling i tend to get from them - that of being in another world. a world of crystal skulls, mountains with vast forests, of crazy, rum-drunk seamen dancing frenetically in the dock, partly obscured by the early morning mist. listening to mastodon can be a gate into antother world, another mode, another state of mind. listening to mastodon is awesome. it's going to be so cool seeing thim with sis this summer. it's going to be so cool listening to them when driving to the slopes in a couple of weeks, also with sis.
it's soon time for me to decide whether i should make a dash for sthlm this fri - she hinted at calling me, the norwegian girl did. i thought i'd pissed her of, as i always assume i have when it takes someone any amount of time to respond - i'm not built for this. i still prefer indirect communication over the phone though, i'm terrified of talking in the phone. i told her, so she's prepared at least. the last time it worked out pretty well i think, mainly because i was only half awake and so surprised she actually called me i didn't get into phone mode.
i'm gonna drink that other oolong tea i bought a while back now (not formosa, some weird chinese name) and read a bit in love in the time of cholera. can't say i like it that much, but i'll trudge on. what i really want to read though is moby dick, or graham greene. and i probably should reread the heart of darkness.

if there is one thing i hate more than everything else in this world it probably isn't putting up cord with those little claw thingies, because there are worse things - unfaithfulness, bigotry, ignorance, racism, genocide and really bad pop music - but it's up there, and today i did a shitload of it. putting up tp cable with those little claw thingies, not being a total dick. dad's got himself a new laptop and i've set him up with wireless so he can check his mail without going down to the basement. typically this wouldn't involve that much tp cable, but there's a floor between the basement and where he wants to surf so the router had to be put in the staircase, which is pretty far from where the fiber modem's located. there are several reasons i don't like putting up cord with those little claw thingies. i think it's foremost because it never turns out good anyways. i'm not sure it's because i'm not handy anymore (i think i was a bit, once, but i havn't exactly gone out of my way to maintain my handines), because i've raised my standards or because lately i've done it in situations where it's impossible to make it even decent (eg three cords going the same way, all of different color). also, since i'm not using a hammer on a regular basis, and since if you want it to look decent the little claw thingies are to be hammered in where it's hardest to get them in place, i end up hitting my index finger a lot.
i've had a swell weekend apart from that. and having a real nasty cold. and a girl that said she'd probably be in touch not contacting me. doesn't sound too swell? well, hear this: i've been to my favorite pub, twice, they've finally got pastis after my ardent nagging, i've had scotch and tea for my cold, also twice, i've listened to mathcode in the sauna, me and mom made awesome deer steak and today i had a really good brownie - possibly the best brownie i've ever had, with buttercream on top. also, i know i said i wasn't sure i wanted the norwegian girl to call. guess what - i did. i realized that after she called. apparently she'd lost her phone in sthlm and had to have it mailed to her before she could call me. i'm not sure she was entirely happy with our conversation though, she sounded a bit dissapointed before i hung up, but i'll try to mend that shortly. norwegian girls are the best - it's hard not to like people who can't help sounding happy even when they say they're really depressed. not that she did, from what i could tell (while pickled to the gills, mind you) she's a very happy girl, but hearing a norwegian girl asking you how come you're so beautiful isn't half bad either, not in the least.
also, me and mom went and saw norköping symphonic orchestra. bruckner was really boring, but the part with kroumata was awesome - yay!
ever since seeing åkerfeldt and åkesson showing how to play heir apparent using roland micro cubes (have to get one of those before summer) it's been playing in my mind. apart from when i'm showering, then i'm still singing summertime rolls every time. it's there all the time, close to, but not really to the extent i had stream of consciousness always on my mind - what? - about a year ago i guess.