Essentially the Only One

Just as this day (7 October) felt like the true pivot between summer and autumn (and dropping temperatures and relentless rain since seem to confirm this impression), yesterday evening felt like the first beginning of winter.

Only a hint, and more by the light than by the temperature that was still moderate or by the deciduous leaves, that, although now in main part gold and brown, still cling to their trees and, in some cases, remain resolutely green.

Still, there are bare trees to be seen and leaves gathering on the ground. It had been a clear, bright day until near the very end. Now a thin layer of cloud gathered on the horizon, veiling the sun. As the light failed, the temperature dropped and a slight shiver of cold passed through me.

That, and the gorgeous light you see in the photograph above, filled me with wintry thoughts. Pleasant thoughts. I am beginning to see, as I age, the delights of every season - indeed of every day. At times, I wonder how I managed to let so much of my life slip by without this awareness. Preoccupied by cares and worries or simply too depressed to register the beauties of the present.

There were good reasons why I felt so at those times, and it is in the overcoming of those barriers that I gained the wisdom to see as I do today. It is fruitless to regret your past, even as I have some reason for regret. What interests me today is how I have returned to some of the wonder and curiosity of my childhood, but completely free of the fears of the future that all-too-frequently accompanied those youthful thoughts. I find this to be a state of grace, and if I had pass through some painful periods to reach it, then they were well used.