My Family Moves to India

I don’t remember many days more stressful than the first packing day. The fact that we really don’t know what we are doing was really reinforced to me. As I remembered from 7 years ago, when we last moved, the packers descended upon the house like a swarm of bees and began packing everything in sight, faster than I could believe. It is a bit disconcerting to see all your possessions disappear so neatly, and so quickly; a good reminder that the things of this life are, indeed, temporary.

The blessing, of course, is that the packers were so efficient. They are a highly professional crew, led by a personable young man named Jason. We have had very good luck with packing crews through Allied - no swearing, no loud music, and they asked when they had questions. So far, so good.

So despite my best efforts, we managed to only get about 1/3 of the house tagged before they came. The garage, which contains an entire mountain of stuff to go, was completed; but they needed to start in the house first. I raced around all day yesterday sorting and tagging the last of the bits and pieces, just one step ahead of them.

Unbelievably, we also did not get enough stuff into the air shipment. In fact, despite carefully measuring off an area on the floor the length and width of the shipment, we only got it about halfway full. (This error was caused by the height factor - it was hard to estimate how much cubic square feet everything would take up once it was packaged correctly.) So, at the last minute, we took two of our humongous suitcases and put them into the air shipment. This saves us tons of sore muscles moving the suitcases around. (Note: at the end of the week, we realized that it also saved us leaving those suitcases behind - they would never have fit into the van for the trip to Florida. )

I HAD done a halfway decent job of packing the suitcases. I guess experience does count. After all the trips we’ve made - both domestically with the kids and internationally ourselves - I’ve learned to divide things evenly between the suitcases. That way if one or two get lost, you still have some underwear in the other ones. I’ve also learned that if you are combining two trips, especially if you are going to two different climates or staying for just one night in a hotel en route, you should put just what you need in one smaller bag - and save yourself a lot of work down the road.

Speaking of suitcases, with business class international tickets (and S now being a Premier Club member, thanks to his frequent business trips), we get a grand total of 9 large suitcases, 4 carryons, and 4 handbags/laptop bags/smaller bags. Quite shocking when you line them all up. We actually didn't use all of our allotment, even with putting two in the air shipment, something which I find vaguely comforting yet amusing.

So that was day 1. The kids were at my super-kind visiting teacher’s house playing with her kids, so I had the entire day to stress just about the house. Thank goodness, as I couldn’t have handled one more thing.

The biggest thing that I learned on day 1 was that we should have moved to the local hotel the night before. It was too much to try and get all the sheets, blankets, and last-minute towels clean and dry whilst the packers were there and I was trying to keep ahead of them. Also, we were so distracted that we forgot tons of little things we wanted when we got to the hotel, and so have made at least 3 extra trips back to the house to get things. It’s very frustrating. Had I moved the family a day earlier, we would have had those issues sorted out.

The other thing that I learned is to go vet the hotel before you move into it. I am very disappointed with our local Country Inn. I’ve stayed with this chain before, and always was pleased, but the local one is disgusting. The “suite” was so small that we could barely walk around the beds; the entire floor was damp (grosssss!); the pool had mystery debris lying on the bottom; the hot tub had a ring of dirt around the water line; and the room is no cleaner. To top it off, the maid wrote us a note - due to our “personal effects” (one child’s pajama top and my nightie) being on the bed, she couldn’t make it. And I’ve heard that Indian servants are temperamental!

So our foray into living in a hotel hasn’t been too successful so far. However, tomorrow we try again, when we move into a suite at the Holiday Inn. This time I’ve checked it out and the place is at least clean.

More later,

Teresa

10 points to whoever knows who this guy is!



I didn't either.

Turns out, according to Wikipedia (don't you just love that site? ), that Casimir Pulaski was a Polish military officer who made a career out of fighting the Russians. Eventually, he got so good at it that no country in Europe would take him in, and he wound up illegally in France. Via France he would up in the American Revolution (yes, this connection seems a bit strange, but read the entire article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazimierz_Pu%C5%82aski). As an officer in Washington's army, he founded one of the first calvary units, and is therefore known as "The Father of American Calvary". Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, making a career out of warfare led to his end - he died at the Battle of Savannah during the American Revolution.

So. You're still wondering why students in Illinois have Casimir Pulaski Day off of school. It has to do with the large number of Polish immigrants in Chicago. They even have a street named after him. We in the rest of Illinois have no idea who he is, but we get the day off too.

Thankfully for me and the kids, a kind friend has offered to have my kids over for a playdate on Casimir Pulaski Day, because it also happens to be the first day that the packers come. That way, I can concentrate on going crazy with the move all by myself, while the kids relax and don't have to watch all their possessions get boxed up.

In preparation for Casimir Pulaski Day, parent-teacher conferences were held. (Well it seems as logical as having the day off at all. ) This time around, it was a wonderful event for us. Even L got a good report. After being asked to leave no less than two different schools, he finally found a teacher patient and kind enough to stick with him. His new medication is helping alot too. I am proud to say that he has mastered 20 letters of the alphabet, and knows all of his colors except brown. He is good at math and shapes, too. Academic progress is a HUGE accomplishment for him - Yippee!

J's teacher said the same three things that all of her teachers have said: 1. She has deep, insightful comments and questions; 2. She is an A/B student academically, with English being her speciality; and 3. She likes to socialize. They all point out that she is unusually imaginative and mature for her age, and they all love her. We do too.

It was a heartwarming parenting moment. I am so thankful that they are both doing well in school - we worried for so long that L might not ever gain enough self-confidence, interest, and ability to focus to be able to learn much. I feel very blessed, especially after all the turmoil that they have gone through with my recent bout with cancer.

T

I'm really liking my cheesy NASA take-off theme.

No, we're not aborting the move. But it does look like the house deal is in the tank. Without going into too many details - and risking slander charges, ha ha - let's just say that I'd give it a 50/50 chance of going through.

Which, today, seems like it may not be such a bad thing, despite the wasted money, energy, and time spent looking for houses in February. If we get there with no house, then we'll look again. As of today, several nice, big apartments in complexes with pools have come on the market. There are also a couple of big new homes out where we were looking. None of ads mention running water or electricity, but hey, we'll deal with that when we look at them.

Yesterday, though, was my day for a supernova meltdown. I overdid it on Wednesday sorting the garage, and was tired and very sore (you'd be amazed how many muscles there are connected to your breast. So I was grouchy. And when the e-mail came in about the house "issues", I had a "discussion" with my husband and we moved the pack date back a week. It may not even affect when our container gets to Chennai, but it gives me the luxury of having the time and energy to sort all the interior of the house. That way, we won't get there with the ice skates and kitchen trash packed in our shipment.

After about 14 hours of sleep I feel better.

So as of today, we leave IL around the 10th. The packers come the 5th. And L has the 5th, 8th, and 9th off of school. Hmmmmmm.....how much you wanna bet he gets packed too?

For another look at how househunting in Chennai works, check out this blog.
http://www.scottcarneyonline.com/blog/2007/02/abandon-all-hope-ye-who-enter-chennai.html

I especially like the parallel with Dante's inferno that the author draws.

Stay tuned,

T

OK. I'm lounging here in our bedroom, watching big-screen TV, trying to coordinate my thoughts about our recent househunting trip. We have 8" of snow and it's still falling, with plenty of wind to add the "blizzard effect", so the kids are off school. We just returned from Ohio yesterday, where they partied like crazy with their Aunts Amy.

First of all, to answer everyone's questions, yes, we think we have found a house. It was a grueling process, but a good insight into the culture. We had many blessings along the way; first and foremost, that my body was able to handle the trip so soon after radiation ended. I didn't have any significant pain until we returned to IL. (That meant that I could be doped up on prescription painkillers without having to make any big decisions, like what to eat for breakfast.

Second, we had a lot of support. Besides the company support team, I was able to make a couple of new friends (one expatriate family who lived there, and one family moving there around the same time we are) who really helped us out by explaining the real estate system and clueing me in to some homes for rent that our realtor had not shown us. (That's the game in Indian real estate. There's no central listing agency, so realtors show only those homes that are on their own tiny little lists. To get our realtor to call around and find other homes to show us took a lot of pressure on our part. I'm sure there is money involved somewhere but don't exactly know where or what to call it - a bribe? kickback? simple splitting of the commission? )

In the end, I looked at about 10 homes (the market in Chennai for expatriate homes is very tight right now). I viewed everything from a concrete shell full of dog poop and trash (with something black and suspicious peering at me from the overhead light fixture - bat? rat? I didn't want to know ), to other luxury homes with large yards and swimming pools. One home we toured was built by a father for his 7 year old son - it came complete with a large sandbox (1/3 of the yard); an upstairs indoor pool with a special water filter and portholes looking outside (it was about the size of a baptismal font); and orange, yellow, purple, and red walls (he let the boy pick out the colors). There was another home which had polished black marble floors and a life-sized marble chess set in the foyer. (I couldn't bring myself to see that one. I could imagine walking through the front door every day and collapsing into giggles at the chess set - it would feel like I was living in Disneyland!

In the end it boiled down to water and electricity supply. I had to consciously switch my American mindset of "location, location, location" to "let's get the house with the surest supply of running water and electricity". Those two items are the exception rather than the rule in India. Chennai does have city water in some areas, but the pressure and lines vary in their performance, so it's important to have a backup water supply (bore well or you buy your water from private water tankers). As far as electric goes, 100% back-up generator and a whole-house stabilizer are a must - and quite rare. (Let's not even go into what happens without those two items. Can we say "whole-house appliance blowout" and "regular rolling blackouts in 100 degree heat"? So, we traded off and chose a house with a longer commute (about 25-30 minutes for the kids to school), but a richer landlord - who had installed all the necessary electrical and water systems. In fact this is was one of his former vacation homes. The side benefit to the location is that is is right on the beach (hence catching the valuable sea breeze), and much quieter than the city. I can't say it's cleaner as the entire place gives off the impression of being one big landfill, but that's what the guards are for - to prevent petty theft and random garbage dumping.

The house itself needs some repairs (which have been written into the lease and which the landlord has agreed to do); and the interior layout is not ideal for our family. But it came to me that I was being too picky; I had fallen into the "image" trap again. So what if one of the kids had to sleep in the room with the built-in entertainment center and no private bath? I slept in the living room in one house when I was a child, on the couch; and in another house, I had an area off the stairway curtained off with blankets for my room. The 7 of us shared one bathroom with only a bathtub. It's not like it hurt me. What is important in India is the basics!

So, let's all pray that this is the last of the househunting. Shawn met the landlord on Saturday (I had already left the country to get back and pick up the kids), and they walked through with the company representative (it's a corporate lease). Our realtor says that the company lawyers are looking over the lease right now; hopefully they will sign soon. I won't feel safe saying we have a house in Chennai until the ink is dry. In the meantime, the moving company wants a more definite analysis of what we are storing here in the US, and that depends on the house we get in Chennai (since the one we've picked out is partially furnished). It's the domino effect again.

When we are sure, I will post some pictures.

Tune in next time for: servants, drivers, and cars: or, how I suddenly became a plantation mistress. (Wait, wait, wasn't my role supposed to BE the maid, not HIRE a maid???? )

Til then,

Teresa

Preparing our home for an open house showing last Saturday gave me plenty of time to ponder. We had been lax in our housekeeping and out of town shopping for a day, so it took both of us a whopping 6 hours to get the place immaculate. As I scrubbed floors, scoured pots, and put away possessions, I realized the immense difference between American and Indian mindsets when it comes to marketing property.

To the American, image is everything. I watched some HGTV the other day and learned that for only a few thousand dollars, you can transform your (perfectly useable) but ugly kitchen into a modernized, color-integrated masterpeice which can be the make-or-break point in your home's sale. Never mind that nothing was broken and the basic floorplan did not change; nor that the colors did not truly clash, they just weren't "up-to-date". The white tile countertop had to be replaced with a multi-colored granite to set off the cherry cabinets perfectly; and the "money-losing green" walls had to be painted a colorless "mushroom taupe". Hmmm. And of course, all the appliances had to be stainless steel.

The kitchen, after all, is king in the American pysche. (Although I insist on baffling the realtors and doing a beeline for the back yard and landscaping, leaving Shawn to peruse the kitchen for light and size.

To top the look off, the bookshelves were re-arranged and the children's toys were all boxed up, to reduce clutter. And, oh yes, all the family photos had to go. More clutter, you see.

Now I do like to decorate and I don't like clutter, but I have to say, that it seemed to me that they were essentially attempting to take the character out of the home. The comments from people on the show at the end were all to the effect that "oh, yes, I could see myself living here". Well, of course they could; the owner's soul had been taken out of it.

On the other end of the spectrum, when we looked at houses (I can't call them "homes" yet, too cozy a concept) in India, they were nearly universally a disaster. Two of them still had first floors that were destroyed by the tsunami 3 years ago. One was so trashed that it seemed as if only rats would want to live there - even the realtor was muttering to herself at the garbage swirling in the breeze though the hallway. Painting, fixing, cleaning - you name it, they needed it. As the realtor explained to us, Indian landlords don't like to put money into a place until they have a renter. It's too expensive; they have other uses for money. You have to be able to see potential to rent in India.

To be fair, a couple of the homes we looked at were in reasonable shape. They were both occupied. And all of them were palacial and had pools and many, many amenities. We're not going to suffer by living there. They were, essentially, run-down palaces.

But by far the oddest thing to me was that I had to argue to see the kitchens and laundry rooms. In fact in one home no one had the keys to either, so I never did get to see them. (All interior rooms of Indian palaces seem to have key locks on the outside of the door - related to having servants around all the time, I believe.) Everyone was astonished that I wanted to know what shape the kitchen was in and if the laundry room had a dryer. Why? Because that is not my domain in India; that's the maid's domain. Why should the lady of the house care if there's a dryer as long as she doesn't have to do the wash?

Taking it one step further, I imagine that if I wanted the kitchen re-done in matching appliances and updated countertops, the idea would be met with blank stares.

Obviously, we have a culture clash here. But as I tried to eliminate all evidence that a family actually lived in our home last weekend, I was really leaning towards the Indian viewpoint. After all, to paraphrase King Henry when he was wooing Lady Katherine in "Henry the V":

My comfort is, that use and general messiness, that ill layer up of beauty,
can do no more spoil upon my face. Thou hast me, if thou hast me,
at the worst; and thou shalt wear me, if thou wear me, better and
better; and therefore tell me, most fair buyer, will you have
me? (William Shakespeare, with some adulteration by me)

Teresa