I went through this kind of pain in 2009 on 31-08 at exactly 12:35p.m when i got a phone call from my brother telling me that my dad had died. Accepting that he waz no more was almost impossible;i thought that the story would change but no amount of tears&crying would bring him back. The pain of losing him was almost unbearable,the question,"Why Lord?", would not leave my mind. Coming to terms with reality was tough,i was so lonely even in the midst of other people.
"God is our refuge&strength,a very present help in time of trouble."(psalms 46:1)
Just when i was beginning to feel my knees picking up my strength,my mom had a stroke,but NO, i didn't lose hope. I told myself that we would pull through,we always do. But what gave me even more hope was my moms strength&hope. But unexpectedly when i thought she was recovering,she took her last breath in my arms as a result of kidney failure. I was jst shattered.
Healing from this kind of pain is a long process. Weeping&grief must not be interpreted as a sign of weakness,but rather a process towards healing. At times the only way to express our pain in time of loss is to weep&grieve.
"weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning."(psalms 30)
Never rush the healing. Some try to keep busy&try to avoid facing the pain. During this time stay in God's presence for he shall send true help. The bereaved person might be up today&down even before the sun sets. There is much emotional turmoil during this time. An atmosphere of acceptance&love brings the much needed relief. Being judgemental does not do any good. Do not take the other persons pain for granted,its real&can criple hs/her dream