For Dessert, a Little Manipulation and Sexualization
Monday, 12. May 2008, 00:41:45
Have you seen the Dairy Queen commercial in which the young girl goes with mom to get an ice cream? Mom starts to buy one for the child, but the child says "None for me," and gives a come hither look to a young boy sitting with his mom. Minutes later, the girl's mom is eating her ice cream, and the DQ person comes up with something for the girl. "It's from the gentleman over there," pointing at the boy.
"Like shooting ducks in a barrel," says the girl.
"Like shooting ducks in a barrel," says the girl.
Mom looks on with an approving smile.
It gave me the creeps the first time I saw it. I won't be eating at Dairy Queen again, but I hadn't really planned on blogging it until Melissa and I had a conversation that started me thinking.
I've got an eight year old. She's a pixie who likes to wear high heels and short skirts. Of course, she does this because it's what she thinks is cute based on what her friends wear, what the kids on her favorite TV shows wear, what her dolls (Bratz? Bleah) wear, and very probably simply because she knows I'll argue with her about it. Shee seems to like arguing with me. Heh. I cannot wait until she is a teenager.
She's not doing it to titillate men. Yet. She will, though. I don't see how she'll escape it, with ads like this telling her how to get what she wants, and with what is bound to be unwanted (from my standpoint) attention from men in the too near future.
As a father, I worry a lot about the future my child will face. I worry that she will learn that reading and math, two subjects that she desn't care for, will prove less rewarding than manipulation. Maybe I worry too much. I'm hopeful that good parenting will prove a match for media and other pressures society exerts on young ladies. I know she'll never had a decent relationship, if she doesn't enter it honestly (without manipulation) and intelligently, able to hold her own and support herself if she needs to get out of a bad situation.
You can see the ad at Feministing (which is a pretty neat site - not as radical as the name would suggest), and read the comments. I'm curious: what do you think?
You must be logged in to write a comment. if you're not a registered member, please 
By solid copper, # 12. May 2008, 02:32:40
Kids have no jobs , kids don't go to buy their clothes alone till their teen years.
Adults buy the clothes , adults buy the dolls.
Kids will try to see how far they can go.
Adults draw the line of what is in the shopping bag,
who the their kids associate with and what it is appropriate for the kids to watch.Ads are 24/7 ?? A video then will do.
Till the age of 13 years old my kids were not allowed to watch TV.
They did turn out to be teens with values and goals.
By ellinidata, # 12. May 2008, 02:42:39
By noah counte, # 12. May 2008, 02:43:25
By solid copper, # 12. May 2008, 03:24:12
By noah counte, # 12. May 2008, 03:27:00
The little girl says that it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Not that anybody does that. Mythbusters showed , however, it's pretty easy!
This conversation has my mind racing. I'm gonna have to blog about this.
By unlisted, # 12. May 2008, 04:56:28
And people wonder where paedophiles come from.
By qlue, # 12. May 2008, 06:29:05
you open another can of worms here.
A thirteen year old actor/model/singer is another child that adults allow to be in a path of distraction.
Having a close friend that lived the model experience close and personal,
very often we discuss the dangers of the model Industry.
I am happy to know that no picture or event ever takes place without a parents/guardians/agents approval, and here the role of the adults comes to place.
Child labor is condemned. One has to wonder why not in all fields??
By ellinidata, # 12. May 2008, 10:29:15
"I must confess, it rubbed me so horribly the wrong way"
I felt exactly the same way when I saw the ad ...
A dedicated parent like you has nothing to worry about.
Kids learn by example.
As a parent to another parent, You are doing a superb job with your kid.
By ellinidata, # 12. May 2008, 10:33:04
It takes courage to be a parent these days, no question.
By mlynnjohnson, # 12. May 2008, 14:12:16
Just sayin.
By mlynnjohnson, # 12. May 2008, 14:13:26
As for what my 10 year old daughter wears...let's just say I'm SUPER uptight, so she never wears anything inappropriate for her age. When I see little girls who DO wear that stuff, though, it makes me want to bitch-slap the parents and ask them how it's even close to okay to let their daughter(s) dress that way.
By Nerak, # 12. May 2008, 17:21:12
Shooting ducks is just wrong...whether they're in a barrel or not.
By Nerak, # 12. May 2008, 19:25:25
By "whole," I mean "really big."
By noah counte, # 12. May 2008, 19:31:35
That totally sucks! I hate it when I lose really big stuff.
By Nerak, # 12. May 2008, 19:46:07
By noah counte, # 12. May 2008, 19:55:54
By Nerak, # 12. May 2008, 20:02:47
The dressing-like-a-cheep-hooker thinggee was going on, too, when my child was young; I just explained to her that she didn't want to look like that, and that some way older women dress that way. I am shocked by what some children wear. Fortunately, so is she; and her cousin, whose mother had her dressing like that since she was three, ended up unmarried with a child. My kids all saw how shocked and ashamed their grandparents were and how my husband and I were shocked and this made a big impression on them since I told them when they were little that dressing that way could bring on troubles and it turned out it did, unfortunately, for my niece.
My daughter was dressed in long skirts with cute little hats and looked like a living dolly. She didn't wear tight skirts and stockings and/or nylons and tight shirts.
Blessings on our daughters that all will be always right and safe and honorable with them!!!!
By momable, # 12. May 2008, 21:29:51
Just my opinion and even though I don't call myself a feminist, I am probably more of one than many women are.
What I am freaked out by is the pic of Miley Cyrus posed with her daddy in a pose which makes them look like lovers. Now THAT is gross! Blech!
By CultureSurfer, # 12. May 2008, 22:50:51
CALGON!!! WHERE ART THOU?!?!?!
By Nerak, # 12. May 2008, 22:56:59
By Nerak, # 12. May 2008, 23:07:14
@ Nerak,
"but the Mom isn't really the issue to me, anyway. I find it in poor taste.
Is it a poor taste ? absolutely!
Should the mom be an issue ?? absolutely!
there are many idiots out there(moms that it is) that expose their kids without thinking that in the commercial the "mom" is just an actress. To them if "she" does it, it is OK for my kid too.
By ellinidata, # 13. May 2008, 00:03:50
Naomi, I am so very happy that there is a difference between the sexes; that a come hither look might promise something, but that we don't know just what that promise is just yet. Still, I really worry that we permit young women to use those "skills" in lieu of life skills that will carry her beyond her years of tight skin and pert breasts. Get the education. Learn to love yourself. Learn to support yourself.
When I practiced law, I had occaasion to represent a number of women who felt the only way out of bad relationships was to get into new relationships. Guess what? The new relationships were always as bad as the old, often worse. Manipulate your way into a relationship, and you're going to have to figure out an escape route. Sad.
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 00:24:49
I think men often do the same things re:repeating disastrous relationships. It's human nature.
As far as women learning to love themselves, I am concerned about the rate of fake breasts (I see SO many young woman with huge boobs) or who are anorexic. I think a confident woman with a healthy body image who uses her sex appeal to ameliorate her abilities, skills, personality, brains is doing GREAT!
Finally (and then I'll jump back off my soap box & return to my normal vertically challenged stature), men have been known to use sex appeal to manipulate as well. Thing George Clooney & Hugh Grant.
By CultureSurfer, # 13. May 2008, 02:41:25
There's a difference between being good looking and being manipulative. I think.
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 03:44:41
By Nerak, # 13. May 2008, 03:53:56
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 03:55:57
By Nerak, # 13. May 2008, 03:57:57
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 04:06:32
I think I will take a picture of myself doing Blue Steel. It'll be magnificent!
By Nerak, # 13. May 2008, 04:08:05
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 04:14:20
Excellent thinking! I should do it in the middle of the street - where nobody can get hurt by it's overwhelming power!
By Nerak, # 13. May 2008, 04:42:39
Karen mentioned REALLY good looking people. I know a handful of those & I have to say that they seem to live like gods. That's human nature for you.
By CultureSurfer, # 13. May 2008, 11:45:00
Really good looking people are definately treated differently than the rest of us. Still, some, maybe most, good looking people work to be well rounded people. I don't have heartburn over good looking people getting a leg up. I have heart burn with young people making bad decisions that will impact them for the rest of their lives. That is, if you think you can skate on your looks and do not work to become well-rounded, or do not develop a work-ethic, sooner or later you will fall from grace. Looks are fleeting.
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 13:32:44
By qlue, # 13. May 2008, 15:06:15
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 15:10:07
Not that I have met her but Milka Dunno, the Venezuelan race car driver is one famous example I can think of as far as someone extremely beautiful who is also very smart & very talented.
By CultureSurfer, # 13. May 2008, 15:13:45
I've met a lot of people who lack substance, and a lot of them do not have good looks to fall back on
By noah counte, # 13. May 2008, 15:55:33
And now for some comic relief, a monkey who is a waiter in Japan:
http://www.zigonet.com/video/un-singe-serveur-dans-un-bar-au-japon_art397.html
By CultureSurfer, # 13. May 2008, 16:39:14
By Nerak, # 13. May 2008, 16:55:52
He looks like a little old man.
By CultureSurfer, # 13. May 2008, 17:47:08
By ellinidata, # 13. May 2008, 17:57:47
By Nerak, # 13. May 2008, 18:01:17
I agree that it is poor taste though, the add I mean.
By daxonmacs, # 13. May 2008, 21:44:22
The problem as I see it is as more and more of these commercials or advertisements are made it becomes an accepted form in our society. The more accepted it becomes the worse the behavior becomes and that downward spiral will pick up speed. The best example of this is young girls Halloween costumes and what a joke that have become. 15 years ago a slutty nurse college girl was starting to be acceptable but now that has moved to slutty elementary girls. Anyone who thinks dressing an 8 year old like a “slutty nurse” is acceptable has a serious problem and needs some help. It is a joke and should not be acceptable; furthermore a 10 year old girl walking around with “juicy” on her ass isn’t acceptable either. The problem starts at home with the parents and is exploited by the media for profit. They know that parents have balls the size of bee-bees and will never tell their children no. That exploitation of the parent is passed on to exploitation of the child and profit for the media world.
It all starts with the parents and the examples they set for their children. A parent’s sole responsibility is to teach their children the value of an education, the importance of morals, and the level of expectations that their children need within themselves to accomplish their goals and dreams. There is no gray area here and this is where the problem really is. The problem is that the majority of parents today are lazy, self absorbed and they not willing to teach their children of to be successful in society.
One of the largest issues in young women is a lack of self confidence and far too many fall prey to being used and abused in any number of ways from sexual exploitation to work related exploitation. Teaching young girls to manipulate men isn’t the answer and it doesn’t come close to solving the problem. It will only make the problem worse because it allows the young girls to think that there is an easier path then honest hard work.
I do think that they need to be taught how to “fight fair” and protect themselves and do agree that “some” manipulation is acceptable. However, it is not the answer to providing girls with self confidence. In fact, it further teaches them that looks or beauty and manipulation are the skills needed to make them successful and that just increases the downward spiral and leads to more porn…
By ripp2002, # 14. May 2008, 02:27:57
By Nerak, # 14. May 2008, 02:40:40
By ripp2002, # 14. May 2008, 02:45:23
By Nerak, # 14. May 2008, 02:45:59
By ellinidata, # 14. May 2008, 02:47:13
By CultureSurfer, # 14. May 2008, 02:53:00