Noah Counte

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• Astound your friends with bar tricks. Or, if you're not too cheap (or not that talented), you could just buy them some drinks.


• You think you've got it bad? Ancient Egyptians really knew how to suffer. Or Akhenaten was an early populist. It's all a matter of perspective, I guess.


• Hero throws himself on a grenade to save his mates. Read it - it's amazing!


• Cell phones are more dangerous than cigarettes. Honest! And it's not just because everyone wants to kick your ass when you make your private conversations very public. Don't worry about it, though. it's just brain cancer.


• Short people are now able to get a two inch cranial implant. Apparently lifts in your shoes are passé


• Darwin Award Nominees:
  
  • Kayaking thieves need swimming lessons. Probably paddling lessons, too. Maybe some thievery lessons.
  
  
  • It's a gun. If it had meant to be used as a club, they would have called it a club.


• Need an answer? Ask a Canadian. They are more trustworthy than the rest of us, eh?


• Cool story about a blind archer who split an arrow with another arrow. Nice shot, but... Yeah, there's always a big but! Who decided that it was a good idea to put a weapon that fires projectiles in the hands of a blind person?

  “The second arrow made such a noise going into the back of the first that I thought I had hit the ceiling.

  I'm all for equality of access and what not. She thought she bounced the arrow off the ceiling - should she really be firing lethal weapons?.


• Moving on up, 'cause I sleep with the boss... Airport security in capable hands, as is, apparently, the airport's managing director. She can't take credit for this astounding bit of security work, though: evacuate the airport! Nothing says "bomb scare" like some old grafitti.


• Flying:
  
  • It just got a lot quicker to check with some airlines with cell phone check-in. Dowload your boarding pass to your phone, and the image is scanned, just like a paper copy.
  
  
  • Save money on flights, even though fares are way up.
    


• Save money eating out by joining restaurant e-clubs.


• Minnesota hospital deals with mistakes a little differently than most: They say "sorry". If they could teach doctors a some bedside manners...


• Time for Hillary to step aside and let Obama run for President? Some New Yorkers have a consolation prize for her. With no clear path to the nomination for either candidate, why would she drop out? It boggles my mind that people are actually worried that the democrat nominee might actually have to be chosen at the convention. I mean, why the heck do we have conventions, if not to pick a candidate. That's why they we invented! I understand that it's just a big coronation party these days, but really! Let's have a convention that people give a rat's ass about!


• If your doomsday theory posits a date certain for the end of the world, find a cave and see if you can wait it out. On the other hand, if after a suitable amount of time in said cave you finally take a peek and the world is still here, maybe it's time to find a new hobby?


• Japanese women need some lovin'. I volunteer my services, in the name of harmonious marital relations and international relations. I'm giving like that.


• Old and busted: Goth and Emo. New Hottness: Scene. This is great news for parents of girls - all that cheap jewlry you bought your three year old daughter is back in style now that she's 14 or 15. Everything old is new again. Are bell bottoms out or in (trick question - bellbottoms are never in, as they are just plain stupid, unless you have a functional issue with pants that actually fit)?


• Billboard stirs emotions: "All Religions Are Fairy Tales."

  When you condemn all religions and say they are a fairytale, that is wrong

  Yeah! You can condemn the others, but leave mine alone!


• The New York Times is making all of Al Jaffee's Mad Magazine Fold-Ins available with an interactive tool. Use your mouse to close and open them. Very cool, for people of a certain age. Roughly my age.


• College Life:
  
  • Drunken students blame their univiersities for their idocy. Heaven forbid personal responsibility should be one of the lessons of college life.
  
  
  • Anti-plaguarism definition plaguarized. Sweet irony!


• Windows Search 4.0 has nifty new features that let you see thumnails of search results before you open them.


• I know you've got nothing else going tonight, so once you're done here, spend a while with this list: 101 Most useful Websites. It's a good list.