Nicolas Borgsmidt

In the kitchen

Thursday, 19. March 2009, 23:17:24

(acrylic on rough paper)

As you might know, I´ve started a painting of a woman, standing in her the doorway of her home
The painting proces has been on standby for quite some time now.
The fictive story behind the painting, suddenly got a life of its own.
I stopped painting and started thinking...far too much.

In order to make it easier, I´ll place myself in Yvonne´s kitchen and listen to the conversation between Yvonne and her daughter Claudia

Yvonne (Y) is standing at the kitchen table. I can´t see what she´s doing. From the movements of her back, it looks as if she´s cutting something

Claudia (C), her 9 year old daughter is sitting at the dinner table, with an absent look on her face.

I sit without moving, holding my breath.

Y: You´re quiet today

C: Mom, you said that yesterday too!

Y: I know. You were silent then also, honey

C: I don´t know what to say

Y: I just want to start a conversation, you know.

C: Why?

Y: I want to know what you think!

C: About what?

Y: Tell me about your dreams. You used to do that. I like that!

C: I remember them....

Y: But?...

C: They are different now

Y: Different? Different how?

C: I don´t know what they´re about anymore.

Y: Does it scare you?

C: No...I dont think so.

Y: (laughs) Most of MY dreams are pretty confusing. I don´t know what they´re all about. And sometimes they really scare me! NIGHTMARES

C: I don´t dream like that

Y: Well how DO you dream, honey

C: It´s like a story

Y: Ok, are you IN that story or are you just standing somewhere watching?

C: Sometimes I´m in the dream and sometimes it´s like watching TV.

Y: I see. That´s interesting. How was your latest dream? Did you dream anything yesterday night?

C: Yes.

Y: Well?

C: It was...about you.

Y: Me?!

C: Yes

Y: Oh...what did I do in your dream?

C: You were standing like this in the doorway (rises from chair and stands with her arms crossed)

Y: Where? The front door?

C: Yes.

Y: That´s all I did? Just stood there?

C: You were worried.

Y: Worried? About what?

C: That we`re not real.

Y: WHAT?

C: Someone made us up and you´re worried about it, that´s all.

Y: You mean God..or

C: No, not him.

Y: How do you know?

C: I just do. God feels different.

Y: I see. Sounds like a nightmare to me!

C: Don´t worry mom, it was just a dream.

Y: Yes love, that´s right.

I leave their kitchen as quietly as I possibly can.

Funny I have to write my way back to the canvas again!

So whatPerspective lines in a basement room

Comments

Angeliki # 19. March 2009, 23:39

I was waiting for this some time now...
thanks for the entry...
I am still creating the character in my mind...
somehow I am eager to know more before I do enjoy Yvonne.....

some how her attitute to her daughter comes across too cold...is it intentional??

I love LOVE the painting! the color mix it is awsome!!!

Stardancer # 20. March 2009, 00:59

Great painting. Love the look on Claudia's face. So dreamy, far-away.

Carol # 20. March 2009, 02:13

Just be still, close your eyes and feel, the painting will come to you.

Allan # 20. March 2009, 11:11

Oh, lovely mind-twisting entry.

It's nice to follow your ways in and out of your art. You have an extremely thorough approach - I don't work that way at all. Maybe that's why I find this so interesting?

Bea # 20. March 2009, 13:31

I'm glad you finished your work. I liked the colors! They're full of life!

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 20. March 2009, 22:25

@ Angeliki
I´m glad you´ve been patient Angeliki. And I´m sorry to have kept you waiting, but I was stuck somehow.
All I know is that there´s some kind of conflict in the communication between Yvonne and Claudia. I think Claudias silence has been going on for longer than we know. I really think that Yvonne is begging to worry a lot about it. I have to know more about them before I can feel why Yvonne has this cold attitude. Seems to come out of fear..not sure.

I´m glad you like the painting. It was a quickie

had to illustrate the two persons. I tried to be close to the primary colors. Red (yvonnes dress) Yellow (their skin and yvonnes hair) Blue (Claudias sweater)

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 20. March 2009, 22:29

@ Stardancer
I stole that expression from a girl in a picture in a paper it reminds me so much of MY daughters face. I´ve seen that look a 1000 times

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 20. March 2009, 22:35

@ Carol
Not this time I´m afraid. I really have to work on this one

But I´ll try. I promsise, but I´ll have to visit Yvonne and Claudia again, from time to time, during the proces. I take myself in thinking: "wonder what they´re doing now".

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 20. March 2009, 22:43

@ Allan
Like you, I too think it´s very very interesting to see how other people handle their creativity.
But trust me, this is NOT the way i usuallly do this. So many words have sneaked their way in. Dialogues that goes on and on like a mumble in the background! But I´ll try to follow this line in this painting and see where it bings me

Like Angeliki once said. I´m a teaser, but this time I teased myself as well

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 20. March 2009, 22:51

@ Beatriz
But the big painting is not finished Bea. This is just an on-the-way illustration. The real painting is yet to come. Soon I´ll work on it agai...I hope

Glad you like the small painting though

PainterWoman # 21. March 2009, 00:38

I love this little vignette of the bigger picture. I know this isn't the way you usually work but I've known painters who do this. They paint or draw many smaller vignettes in preparation for the larger painting.

Bea # 21. March 2009, 00:55

I just hope you can paint the big one as colorful as the small one!

I love colors!

Good luck on your work!

Lois # 21. March 2009, 01:25

Yvonne is so beautiful. Interesting that she is facing away from Claudia as if she wants to draw her out, but doesn't want to pressure her into talking.

Léazz # 21. March 2009, 04:12

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 06:45

@ Pamela
I´m glad you like it Pam

I´m quite sure that I´ll continue to make a few more small ones as a kind of illustrations. I feel more dialogues coming up. The small ones is like listening and thinking. The big one is like looking out and talking. There´s more listening and thinking to be done

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 06:50

@ Beatriz
Ok Bea. I´ll let the colours glow. Good idea

And I´ll try to use some good primary ones, I promise

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 07:05

@ Lois
Yes Yvonne is beautiful. Somehow she doesn´t feel it as an advantage at the moment if ever. She doesn´t experiment much with the way she looks. She seems to be very pragmatic and down to earth about it.
You´re right, I sense a conflict coming up between mother and daughter.
Unintended Cladia seems to poke to some of her mothers fears.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 07:06

@ Carol and Leazz

Léazz # 21. March 2009, 08:14

Nic. Have a great weekend ahead.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 08:18

I will Leazz. I´m going south, with my camera

Léazz # 21. March 2009, 08:21

we will be expecting some photos soon ya?

have an enjoyable trip ;P

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 08:32

That´s for sure Leazz, Thankyou

Léazz # 21. March 2009, 08:38

Looking forward to it. Thanks you Nic

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 08:48

Just made a new post with some photos

Léazz # 21. March 2009, 10:25

that was fast

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı # 21. March 2009, 12:13

Lovely painting.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 21. March 2009, 21:01

@ Leazz

@ Isabel
Thanks Issy

Léazz # 22. March 2009, 02:46

SummerAngel # 22. March 2009, 14:14

Awkward time for most pre-teens and moms.

how you include the story inspiring your on-the-way illustration. I await the big painting.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 22. March 2009, 14:38

@ Annette
Wow you recognise that, I mean about the teenage thing, that´s so great

I really was only listening...mentally that is. And I wrote what I heard! But I´m most pleased if I´d heard right

Most of you women have commented on the colours, so I´ll really consentrate about making them right. During next week I hope to be painting on the big canvas again

But I still have dialouges in my head

Adele # 22. March 2009, 14:52

Makes for a most interesting read, Nic!

SummerAngel # 22. March 2009, 15:28

Thanks Nic,

Most pre-teens/teens, go through that stage of pulling away and needing their space and secrets. We mothers mothers struggle to balance giving them enough space to grow and experience what life has to offer while trying making sure they are using this new found freedom wisely.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 22. March 2009, 18:56

@ Adele
That´s just great Adele. Thakyou

@ Annette
Thankyou for your inside knowledge. I need the mother/daughter facts. Your information will come in handy

Edward Piercy # 24. March 2009, 10:20

More fascinating stuff added to the story...

You know, when I create a character in a story, I feel bad if they die or otherwise come to harm...

You have to love what you create...I am learning.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 24. March 2009, 18:10

I´m glad you understand Edward. Mother and daughter are at the beginning of a crisis. It´s not good. I´ll have to follow them closely for a while to see where things go. I´ll have to confront them with other persons in order to see what the situation is.

studio41 # 25. March 2009, 07:48

You are gifted, Nic.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 25. March 2009, 19:59

Thanks Jill. Yes I feel gifted and Í´m humbly thankful for the fact that I don´t have to think very much in order to create. At least that´s how it is at the moment. Sometimes I feel guided in what I do. In the art business, that is. I just have to listen to the inside and suddenly a lot of reality pieces fit together and I see an image. Then I have to hurry to draw, write or paint the idea. It´s like dreaming. Things just happen

studio41 # 26. March 2009, 08:36

It is something I don't quite understand, being able to make an image from inside my 'view' or head. Thanks for sharing.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 26. March 2009, 20:04

That´s good Jill. Then you don´t have a lot of noise and persons moving around inside you

studio41 # 28. March 2009, 06:38

... I would love to paint something I see in my head... one day I will try! I'm certain it will be merely abstract and not make a real 'portrait' I so admire portrait artists.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 28. March 2009, 07:33

I love abstract painting, Jill. I admire ppl that paint like that. I can´t. Have tried and the outcome was horrible

But I can recomend painting as a whole, that´s for sure. You can do it for fun and it can be hard work too

studio41 # 31. March 2009, 06:08

I have for fun, and love it-- never got the chance in Kindergarten

... don't get me wrong, I have respect for the abstract as well. I just really admire the talent of portrait artists... or those that are able to make something real appear that way on canvas.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 31. March 2009, 16:32

No matter how hard you try Jill, you can never be 100% objective. When you paint a portrait of another person there will always be a part of you in it. For me that´s the fascinating part of it

I´ve experienced that the ppl I´ve made portraits of have seen new sides of themselves and that´s great I think. The secret is how you master painting the eyes. Get the eyes right and the rest will follow

You can even use light reflexions in the eyes to illustrate feelings even though reflexions ought to be random. But it´s an artists trick

studio41 # 1. April 2009, 05:31

that is true, the art comes from the artist... but nevertheless looks real and can wow me.

even though reflexions ought to be random

explain this to me, please. thank you for the information! I did a sketch of a baby once... several sketches of sketches really (an art book) but they turned out great in my meager estimation. thing is, I tried my dad from a photo and bombed... his face was scrunched to a fraction its size, like one of those funny mirrors... I was bummed and put my pencil down for a long time. It is rather therapeutic for me, though.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 1. April 2009, 10:46

´Jill, It´s my experience that most people think too fast and are too ambitious to make a good "product" when they start drawing. All the wonderful questions in your mind are wonderful guidelines.
If you in the beginning are lucky and make acceptable portraits you miss a lot of learning. To me that´s the most beautiful and giving in the proces. Learning, seeing, doing.
Painting portraits using a photo as a reference is hard and not the best way to do it. Most photos of faces are taken flat front and the person in the pic is almost always smiling. Very boring.
I could talk a lot about this and it would only cover fragments of all the informations I´d like to give you

But besides training, training and training there are books to read
I can recomend: Any thorough book about the human physionomy and structure as a whole and my bibles: Betty Edwards books "The art of drawing" and "The art of seeing".

studio41 # 1. April 2009, 23:51

thank you, Nic.

Jen # 5. April 2009, 22:01

Another artist to enjoy...

I am a writer, and can paint pictures only with my words. As I told Leazz, I can barely draw stick people!

But to be able to capture a moment, a sigh, a space, a fear... Etc. That must be so rewarding.

And you writing and painting connects those worlds. Gives them a story you would only guess at.

I have to say, even tho the mother does appear cold, she is making efforts... And not letting her daughter go into her own world without a fight. This was no two sentence conversation. And the daughter is in the kitchen, not watching TV, doodling in her room, or playing a video game....

I sense a past closeness that transcends the present circumstances... At least for now.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 5. April 2009, 23:46

Hey Jen! And welcome here!

Capturing moments is wonderful Jen. I´m enjoying it fully when I´m "tuned" in

I´m not a writer. Definately not! But this peticular painting has driwen me like a nightmare. Normally I think in images when I paint. But at the entrance of this painting I just "heard" a lot of dialogs. And the words kept babeling inside me kept buggin´ me. So in the end I desided to deal with it in a sphere operating between the painting and the written word.

Yvonne does appear cold, doesn´t she?! I think Claudia wants to confront her mother with silence. C´s silence is a way of trying to tell her mother something. And the things there are to be told scares Yvonne a lot.

At the moment, I don´t know what it is. I have no dialouges inside me now so I might paint again soon

Jen # 6. April 2009, 01:07

I hope so... I have a feeling the struggle will be worth it in the end.

Nicolas Borgsmidt # 6. April 2009, 08:15

I hope you´re right. I hope my presence won´t disrupt anything for them!