Bak Cao Tong

Remember our last conversation on net about a period of love guaranteed? We thought twice before finally making a decision. We've come to the conclusion that we should try to seek our respective partner under 30. If we hadn't made it, then we could find a way to be together.

It's been a long time since our last topic and it looks like both of us made it yet. I don't wanna looking back on the history how we fell in love and how sticky we were at that period. Because missing the moment would make me crying as an idiot. It's so hard to express the love story of us in the right way. Maybe we started on a wrong.

It leaves many pieces of fantastic moment when we were together and don't know why and how results in such situation at moment. Is it about generation gap which concluded we were not a good match? I admitted I'm little idle and have no BIG desire for progress, but I am checking my proceeding every single day and think how to improve it in action, for myself, my family and you.

The thing is done and don't know if it can be helped. I'm convinced that you will get on the right track, and for me, going on striving for myself.

To my loved Ms. Air

Your sincerely,

N.T.

I know i am a bad guy
Have you seen a standing shining nob?

记得去年外出办事时所经历的一段故事。那是在出租车上和司机的一段对话

司机说他载过上海某著名滑稽笑星，他说明星其实也是老百姓，和我们一样，也会有怨念，所以他们也会在车上发泄心中郁闷之情。司机就说载那位笑星的时候也听到他开口骂XX。

司机说现在出租车司机没有前几年好混了，生意不好。以前坐出租车也许算是一种派头，现在更多的是赶时间。想当年桑塔纳和小奥拓，从TAXI上下来的那种眼神都两样，或许上海人爱显。

司机说以前他一个月都好赚4～5千，按照现在的工资水平来说都算中等的，何况当时。他当时的车都是他自己的，不是公司配的那种。但是他爱赌，手痒，所以从他手中溜走的太多了，包括他的桑塔纳。

他总是叹气世道不公。以前学校毕业有机会去日本留学，那时候出去的人，现在哪个没有钱？但是因为爱情，所以没有去成。
他老爸的房子地段满好，本来想等拆迁能翻身，但是到现在还没有拆，只能让他空关，因为楼上楼下都是新疆人租房，不安全。
他的老婆以前在外服上班，后来因为某个高官倒台还是什么的，下岗了，现在在居委会还是哪里做，反正很一般。
前几年在房价相对较高的时候，在松江区贷款买了一套房子，每个月还要还贷，现在房子跌了，他后悔的不得了。

他说他以前不相信命运，觉得太玄乎，但是现在的路途让他不得不面对这个事实。还好，现在他的儿子还是有出息，考入了名牌大学。
我觉得他原本也可以活得很好，如果不去赌的话，小生活可以调剂的很滋润，手头的存款也会有，至少房子可以不用着急

命运是掌握在自己手里，但是有些人的定力不够，经历不了社会的筛选，很快就被赶上了岸。我在想，那我的人生应该怎么走呢？等我到那位司机的年龄的时候，也会遇到同样的中年危机呢？

我也不知道，我的方向在哪里