I LOVE YOU
Tuesday, 20. November 2007, 17:58:13
I have heard this phrase in my head, lately: I LOVE YOU. It`s been haunting me for a while. It has attacked my brain in certain situations, around particular people. It had kept on spinning inside my head, trying to get out. Something from the back of my counsciousness was pulling it back when it tried to, and my lips refused to release it. My counsciousness was giving me reasons not to allow this "enemy" to trick me and gain its freedom:
"If you say it out loud, there`s no turning back. If you say it out loud, you sell your soul to the uncertain. If you say it out loud, you`re vulnerable."
"What do you expect in return?"- my counsciousness asked.
"A proof! A reaction. Something to guide my future actions."-I said.
This answer of mine was just a delusion, an undercover action of The 3 Words. So they escaped... Guess how they did it? No, my lips were concealed... I didn`t say it out loud. They tricked me worse: they controlled my hands- I wrote them.
Then, I waited.
The answer came in the shape of a smile, an ironic smile. There was no sign of a warm heart-melting echo... My eyes were burning, but the eyes in front of them were ice-cold. The silence around the two bodies standing face to face, was painful.
In the eternal seconds that followed, my lips released fewer words. Like they feared saying something as stupid as I LOVE YOU, anymore. Finaly, my eyes went down. Couldn`t bare the other eyes looking at them. My body moved to the other room, layed on the bed and shut itself down. The other body turned its back on it, sat on a chair and surfed the net...
My eyes were closed. My ears were listening to the storm inside my head: thunders of regrets and showers of raining thoughts of uncertainty. I was quiet on the outside, but when the flood got too intense, a drop fell out from one of my closed eyes. It was cold and shiny, like a diamond.
The other body got up from the chair and sat next to the body crying. It washed off the liquid diamond, then it kissed the wet cheek.
But The 3 Words never found their answer... Uncertainty covers me like mist.
What do you expect in return, after saying: I LOVE YOU?
"If you say it out loud, there`s no turning back. If you say it out loud, you sell your soul to the uncertain. If you say it out loud, you`re vulnerable."
"What do you expect in return?"- my counsciousness asked.
"A proof! A reaction. Something to guide my future actions."-I said.
This answer of mine was just a delusion, an undercover action of The 3 Words. So they escaped... Guess how they did it? No, my lips were concealed... I didn`t say it out loud. They tricked me worse: they controlled my hands- I wrote them.
Then, I waited.
The answer came in the shape of a smile, an ironic smile. There was no sign of a warm heart-melting echo... My eyes were burning, but the eyes in front of them were ice-cold. The silence around the two bodies standing face to face, was painful.
In the eternal seconds that followed, my lips released fewer words. Like they feared saying something as stupid as I LOVE YOU, anymore. Finaly, my eyes went down. Couldn`t bare the other eyes looking at them. My body moved to the other room, layed on the bed and shut itself down. The other body turned its back on it, sat on a chair and surfed the net...
My eyes were closed. My ears were listening to the storm inside my head: thunders of regrets and showers of raining thoughts of uncertainty. I was quiet on the outside, but when the flood got too intense, a drop fell out from one of my closed eyes. It was cold and shiny, like a diamond.
The other body got up from the chair and sat next to the body crying. It washed off the liquid diamond, then it kissed the wet cheek.
But The 3 Words never found their answer... Uncertainty covers me like mist.
What do you expect in return, after saying: I LOVE YOU?
WIDGETIZE