Gettin-out-of-shell

Tonight, I am in the mood for writing...some mixed emotion I just suddenly felt. As time passes, being swept away by busy and stressful life, I have forgotten that my loved ones and relatives are on the edge of old age and that I should have some time talking with them, listening to them, sharing things with them, treasuring beautiful moments in life with them. I was born and have lived in the same place, around is all my relatives. We have lived together so long that in my eyes, all my uncles and aunts are still as young as they used to be 20 years ago. This morning, being in the hospital with an aunt of mine, I noticed some wrinkles on her face, the salt-and-pepper hair all of which remind me of her old age. And her husband too. He has been ill for some days, and those days has taken all his strength away. His lips are so dried that even blood was found there. He shakily took steps by steps, even could not take his scooter out of the house. I just got shocked when realized that they are no longer be in the ages of 30 & 40 any more and that now they are in mid 50. One relative that I call "grandfather", once being an "iron" man, who used to ride bike from home to our town which is over 30 km away is now in the age of 80. Seeing him walking with the aid of stick while the back bent down close to ground, I knew he would not being around with us for long. Time passes, awaits no one. It just selfishly does as it wants. Thinking of me, I feel kind of scary too when realizing I am on the edge of 30. It s just so scared when I realize that life is just too short, just not enough to make nice things. I don't know how many chances left for me to get close to these loved ones of mine, help some things for them. I hope there will still be more.

Now it s over midnight, stiill I can not put myslf to sleep...so I just simply spend sometime crafting my blog .Well, I am wondering if you guys ever ask such questions like: What is the HAPPINESS? and where could we find it???. In every special seasons, from X-mas days, new years days, birthdays, to traditional, religious days, we all send nice hopes and wishes to our close, loved ones like: "May JOY, happinESS surround you always!" ...but from where we could find it???
Remembering the time I was a yooung girl, sometimes I got sad and kept wondering to myslf: " Why should I get so sad, so bored???", then somehow all those bad feelings went awayyy. However, they did come back again at times, just ON and OFF! The appearance of unreasonable sadness just come and gone, BEYOND my CONTROL! Few years later, I was aware more about the concept of HAPPINESS...I was trying in every way to find it, thinking "you feel good when getting a place in college, when you got more friends, you got rich...etc. And now I did get good friends, already graduated from college and maybe I could find a job then. Still I haven't found the place of HAPPINESS until I read a pshychology bookkk and talked with my elder uncle the other day. I remembered how PAINFUL I felt when I learned that HAPPINESS doesn't exist. It s not a material stuff, it s not a thing we can see, it s invisible to us, however a magic thing is that we can find its sanctuary! And a miraculous thing is that it, HAPPINESS is just within us, always around, beside us wherever we are SIMPLY HAPPINESS IS JUST THE STATE OF OUR MINDs . IT s part of ourselves, so we do can control, manage it the way we want! . Believe it or not? Make your own decision! This is truly a MOST valuable lesson that I have ever received! Thanx Jane Nelson, the author of the psychology pillow-book that I read every night! . Since I have got SO many people complain about their lives, I do want share one of wonderful stories the author put on the book. It such a nice, meaningful story!
There is a story about 2 cats: one old and the other young:) The young cat spent his days FRANTICALLY chasing his tail. One day, the old one wandered by and stopped to watch the young cat. He finally interrupted and asked," would u mind telling me what your doing?"
the young one stopped, took a few mins to catch his breath, and explained, "I went to cat philosophy school and learned that HAPPINESS is in the end of our tails. I know that if I chase LONG enough and hard enough, I am going to catch a BIG BITE of that HAPPINESS"
The old one reflected: " I haven't been to that school but I know it is true that HAPPINESS is in the end of our tails. I have observed however, that if I SIMPLY WANDER around ENJOYING my life, IT FOLLOWs me everywhere I go.

Okkkay, now I could hear the call of sleep!

A simple fact that people all agree is that noone can stay @ home 24/24h! Yeah we have to walk outside, some for studies, others for work,... in sum we have to mingle with one another within society and most importantly we need places to relax, in other words imersing ourselves in nature! That is CRITICALLL!!! Is it just simple demand? Yesss, of course it is!!! BUT, to people who live in Hanoi, the city where I am living, that demand is really a "headache matter" that is needed to be solved. I am so TIRED of, even SCARED of Hanoi!


The city is smelly, seriously polluted with gasoline from motorbikes, cars, especially from OUT-DATED engine of buses!I call them SQUIDs cause wherever they go to, dark smoke is there! Ooooh Hanoi, I am so tired of youuu!




My wish is : SOme day Hanoi will build places like this:)Am I just too greedy??? Okay so just part of it


How great it is when we can lie down on such a place like this, looking up at sky, veiwing clouds hovering, breathing fresh air...!!!

Well I just went out shopping little things with a kid friend of mine...gonna write about her someday ! I was thinking about buying a pillow 4 me, then I went to a store. Wow!!! so many pillows there. My friend and I took 4 a while to embrace all the pillows there. They are just so lovely, so soft, smooth and sweet!!! and after scanning most of their prices I picked one_ a mere square one satisfiedly !

But went going down to the first floor, all the faces of animal pillows were still swimming around my head! They smiled @ me, whispered to me "Mai, pick me home with you!" . It was like they were begging me . No doubt, I ended up returning to the third floor, tossed the one in my hand to its place then pick another, a chicken pillow!

AND NOW IS THE DARK SIDE OF TODAY STORY!

When I arrived home, my bro and his girlfriend were out greeting me and they instantly grabbed the pillow off my hand, saying " let me see it!". And ...:hic hic: they looked @ me strangely...the girl said: " what! this s 4 kids Mai!" and my bro threw bad words to me "Oddish you!...such a waste of $". Throwing the pillow to my head, they left out coldly!

Now sitting alone, looking @ the pillow, I realized that it was really 4 KIDs.

I place my head on it and it is just too small to carry my head! Don't know what I was thinking at the store! And what I will do next is to come back to the store and change it for another! This is not the first time I failed in shopping! Oh ! what a bad shopper I am !!!

I have read over 10 pages about Kurt Cobain, the story of him from cradle to grave, which is a SAD story anyway. Kurt is a rock singer who has a voice, a trully rock voice that I am into the mossst. It is just so sexxxy and attracting to me. However I am not sure that I can listen to all songs by Nirvana, some songs are just too crazzzy to “digest” as a female like me, just too too toooo CCCRRRAAAZZZYYY like Anorexorcist, Mrs. Butterworth… Anyway, CRAZY is a word that people often use to talk about ROCKkk and yeah that is the way Rock goes! Rock could SHAKE the whole world I think!


Let go back to Kurt! I was going to dedicate this page to him Not all people know Kurt -> Certainly! Yeah many know him, however just a few know the true story about him, about his death. People often relate his death to cocain and suicide…but it is just partly true. He used drug -> YES, but he committed to suicide -> NO!!! KURT is deliberately murdered and some investigators supposed that the culprit is no others except his wife, Love Courtney but they just can not find enough evidence to konvict her. It is a sad story that happened long time ago. Let’s not dig it uppp here. KURT is not that weak person to find death that way! It is just too incredible to believe that a man who dare to place cracks on his chest and let them burst on it or even stand on the roof, flipping his arms in attemp to flyyy into the sky!!! can kill himself that way. NO WAY!

In brief, Kurt is a muzician, rock singer I idolize. He went away at the age that is so young, most beautiful of human life (1967 – 1994). Like other fans of Nirvana, I just wanna say: “KURT AND HIS MUZIC WILL BE AROUND FOREVER IN OUr HEARTS! KURT WILL NEVER DIE!”

Spend somtime to memorize a great rock singer of all time KUrT:love: