The Dork

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man
1. Don’t pick on the weak. It’s immoral. Don’t antagonize the strong without cause, its stupid.
2. Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time
3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.
4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.
5. As a former Marine, take it from me. Don’t join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people’s economic or political interests.
6. If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent’s intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.
7. Don’t be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don’t be a “conservative.” They are whining, bitching, complaining, simple-minded self-righteous idiots who think they’re perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you’ll see what I mean.
8. Don’t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don’t want to come off as cynical.
9. You’ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don’t owe the vast majority of people shit.
10. Don’t undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually and collectively. Law enforcement’s primary purpose is to suppress you.
11. As a young man, you’re on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women’s Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.
12. Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.
13. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
14. Don’t be afraid to tell people to “Fuck off” when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your piece, even if your voice shakes.
15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don’t just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you’ll find your wife fucking somebody else.
16. Keep fit.
17. Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you’ll take her part.
18. Don’t cheat on your wife/girlfriend. If you must cheat, don’t humiliate her. Don’t risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don’t do it where you live. Don’t do it with people in your social circle. Don’t shit in your own back yard.
19. If your girlfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That’s what girlfriends are for.
20. Don’t bother with “emotional affairs.” They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That’s the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they’re probably fucking someone else.
21. Becoming a woman’s friend and confidant is not going to get you into an intimate relationship. If you haven’t gotten the girl within a reasonably short period of time, chances are you won’t ever get her. She’ll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures she’s having with someone else.
22. Have and nurture friendships with women.
23. Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily. You’re going to see some girl and feel like you’ll die if you don’t get her. If she rejects you, move on to the next one. It’s her loss.
24. Don’t be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a cadre of beautiful women advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex with you. Beautiful women don’t need to advertise. The websites that advertise with attractive women’s photos and claims of loneliness are baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so that they can market to you. The posts on Craigslist by young “women” seeking NSA sex, and asking for a picture are just a bunch of gay troll pic collectors. This is especially true if the post uses common gay lexicon like “hole” as in “fuck my hole” or seeks “masculine” men, or uses the word cock (except in the context of “Don’t send a cock shot.”) There are women on Craigslist. They are easily recognizable by their 2-5 paragraph postings. Most are in their 30's or older.
25. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Gay guys will give you “the look.” Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don’t get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.
26. Don’t gay bash. Don’t mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It’s none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.
27. If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you are. As a gay person, you’ll have more social freedom than straight men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You’ll find a welcoming community there.
28. Don’t be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.
29. Don’t believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says something enough times, doesn’t make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.

i don't really like home. but it is home. i could hardly tolerate staying there for a weekend - like i charge my batteries for 2 weeks and use it up over 2 days. i kinda got used to staying away from home, so much so that i dread the change in my usual routine when i go back.

but all that is about to change. it might be painful, but i believe it is the right thing to do in the long run. i have given up my fun job for something, a tad more serious perhaps. a mix of feelings. excitement, fear and hope.

singapore has never been home. i do however, consider the 200 square feet of space i am in right now, quite homely. yes i am homely. roomly? i like my TV. my PC. my wives. my bed. my table. my drawer of goodies. i really can't wait for the day i get my own place. i have been travelling, moving, changing all my life. perhaps this is the feeling of wanting to settle down?

i like change actually. a new environment. new challenges. and becoming debt free is a great change too. finally paid off my irritating loan, closed to stupid account, and cut the ugly atm card to shreds. cheers.

having said that, my upcoming vacation in 20 odd days is something i've been looking forward to for a while. the man needs a break. he's going to sleep till the sun burns his face! maybe go to some beach place and relax. get some spa treatment. get away from the monitor for a bit.

as this chapter of my life comes to a close, i cannot wait for the next one.

i'm worksick. need... a... doc... MC. take leave. break.



we definitely need one of these. there's an earthquake every other day. i need some new news.
i'm going nuts here.

foie gras - melts in your mouth, not in the plate.



escargots & prawns - always had the impression they looked purple. but no, looked like mushrooms.



Killer mushroom soup - stuff below eggshell is not radish. it is pure pure salt. it's true! i tried some.



Piper-Heidsieck Brut - pop! no corkage



Beef cheek - yes i eat face. supposed to be very tough meat, but it is cooked till tender. very nice.



Duck confit - i think the chinese are still better at duck



Chocolate fondant. cake and ice cream.



Creme brulee. custard.



the whole experience seemed quite daunting initially, but turned out to be rather casual and friendly. the service was fantastic.


thanks for the dinner!!!

some virus has been going around eh? i can't seem to get well, fully. and every other person i know seems to be sick. either some cough, some this sitis, some that sitis, some sick of their partners, sick of my mp3 collection.

what we need is a doc in here right now! whats up doc?

if i cannot do what i really want to, it is really painful. if i cannot do it because i am forced to, i actually feel better than if i chose to do it.

it is difficult communicating with people who prefer to speak their language, rather than trying to speak yours. and i do mean it literally, when people expect me to be really good with my chinese and i tell them i can't even read it. and because they can only communicate with that, i have no choice but to try to understand all that is being said.

but irritates the hell out of me, because why do these people get away with using the language that they are good at? i mean, just because i can speak chinese doesn't mean i want to. it is just a language of convenience for me. spare me the proverbs and flowery speech please! i know chinese is an ancient language with rich 8888 year old history, but with all due respect, please! not everyone chinese looking guy is good with chinese.

ya i do watch channel 8 and U. and i understand 70% of what's going on. but really, most of the time i'd rather be watching Lost Season II for the 8th time. Or Heroes I for the 11th time. Or Suzanne Jung on ChannelNewsAsia. i like to be in my comfort zone yeah. so come over will ya? step out a little from your comfort zone, and speak my language. i watched channel 8 so that i have something to talk about with you people. how about watching CNA and talking to me about the hot new reporters they recently hired?

and buddy, some people do the job well, and some others get by. but when it comes to the real thing, ie not a job, getting by isn't good enough. so if resignation is not an option, maybe its time you give the axe. remember, you're the boss of yourself. being good to you is different from giving you what you want.