I'll think of a good title later

Everything ok? How are we all coping with the downturn?

I've lost approx £4000, from my savings, plus I don't know what from my pension. I am in the fortunate position that I had the money to lose in the first place. I also know that had I continued as I was a few years ago I wouldn't have lost a thing, but I allowed myself to be talked around into investing in shares through off the shelf investment packages by people who probably knew as much about investing as I did, even though I knew this slump was coming. I've no one to blame but my own stupidity & greed.

Employment wise I was one of the very early casualties as I lost my job when my company that sold windows to the new build housing market went under in April this year. I was out of work for just under 3 months before starting work for the Department for Work & Pensions at Jobcentre Plus which is the UK's government run employment agency & social security benefit office (a cynic would say that I left one growth industry as it was dying for another). I now get to review people's job search activity to check for compliance, find vacancies for people to apply to & encourage them to do anything & everything to better their employment prospects.

It's an ok job, one that I didn't think I would enjoy as much as I have & it is infinitely better on my side of the desk than the other. Getting used to a 50% salary drop has been a real eye opener though. Money never used to be an issue for me, I never used to check my bank statements to see if I had been paid, I never looked at the price of anything as I entered my PIN & cost never stopped me from going out. Now though I keep track of my spending on a spreadsheet (well worth the effort), I can tell you the price of unleaded at 6 different petrol stations & if Tunbridge Wells would just cancel the farmer's market I'd be financially laughing.

One sad side effect of my new job is that several times now I have wanted to really rant on my blog but because I am now a 'civil servant' I can't, which I think is the main reason my posting frequency here has gone the way of the stock market.

There are still plenty of other things I could be posting about though. At the very least someone needs to document some of the bizarre events that occurred at Abbott Group Ltd.

Bah humbug everyone!

Not long to go now...

I had a half day at work today, the beginning of an uninterupted 11 day stint of holiday goodness. I've always used my holiday to span the Easter weekend bank holidays, for relatively little holiday you can get a whole lotta time off. Sadly a few more people at work are now starting to do the same thing, still I've always been pretty good at getting in there first.

I came home, popped into town for an eye test then back home for a juggle in the sunshine on my front lawn. It reminded me of being back at the EJC in Ireland. Marvellous.

Better still is that in a few days time, Nix & I will be off to the British Juggling Convention in Nottingham along with a healthy number of people from TWJC.

Much fun shall be had.

For Christmas my company gave each of its employees a bottle of wine.

On Friday I knocked off work early in order to attend my other half's end of year party. We met at her house, sorted out our things & drove straight to the train station.

While waiting for the 2.30 train to London I told Nix that I would try my hardest to look respectable & not to show her up in front of her colleagues. She replied that she didn't care what I looked like as long as I didn't wear my tatty trainers to the party.

After going back to her house & picking up my shoes we finally caught the 4.00 train to the city & arrived in Greenwich at around 5.30.

We found our hotel which was kindly paid for by the company. While Nicky showered I amused myself by playing with all the different buttons in the room, I particularly enjoyed the electronic safe. I was showered & dressed before Nix could finish applying her warpaint.

Nicky doesn't often do the girly stuff. Surprisingly when she puts on her high heels she stands 7ft tall.

We went down to the lobby around 7ish where I got to meet some of Nicky's coworkers while they were waiting for taxis. Being country bumpkins we decided to walk to the venue & naturally got there first. There being here (click the thumbnail for enlarged goodness):



The Royal Naval College in Greenwich (also known as Greenwich Hospital). The picture above is a small snapshot of a very impressive group of buildings that I had no idea even existed before. We followed a number of tuxedos into a reception hall which was apparently off limits unless you were holding a glass of champagne.

Here I spent about an hour being introduced to more of Nicky's colleagues who were working hard trying to identify the faceless voices from the London & French ends of the company plus the rep from up & down the country.

All the while milling around the party goers were waiters with trays of h'orderves (French for 'unidentifiable snack'). Miraculously I succeeded in h'ordiving a number of times without getting caught with an introduction mid munch once. Also mingling amongst the crowd were deadly assasins clad in black armed with a bottle of champagne. They seemed to have a ghost like quality to them because for the most part they were completely ignored by many of the guests. Some people would simply hold their glass out to the side with their face turned away & talking to someone else while the waiter filled their flute in complete anonymity which I found disheartening.

To me a person is a person & the very least you can do is acknowledge their existance. Service staff or your own mother, you say please, thankyou & look at the person as you do so when they do something for you. On the flipside it seems that the briefest eyecontact with a waiter is a request for a refill.

When it was time to make our way to dinner I was already pretty drunk.

In fact later photographic evidence shows that they were indeed ghosts.

We all made our way down through a corridoor with low arches & many alcoves each containing a simple & immaculate display of some of the company's brands.



As we walked Nicky pointed out the ones that I had already tasted & commented on some of her insider knowledge of others. I noticed pretty much everyone took an interest in the displays. If your marketing can grab the attention of your own employees who work with the product day in & day out then it will work on anybody. I also noticed the sense of pride the displays seemed to instill in the employees. Being proud of what you do is priceless. & an entire world apart from the culture at my own company.

At the end of the corridoor we climbed a flight of stone steps to a landing where groups of people gathered around easels supporting notices of the seating arrangements. After finding our positions (They even spelt my name correctly!) we doubled back on ourselves & climbed another set of steps up into the magnificent Painted Hall (again click for bigness):



That was impressive enough for me, but then you look up:



We spent a lot of time agog gazing up at the paintings. The ceiling towered far overhead & unfortunately there was nowhere to get a closer look at the details. The hall is open to the public, if you ever go to visit you won't regret taking a small pair of binoculars.

We found our table named after Catherine of Aragon (Henry VIII's first wife, not Viggo Mortensen's muse as I first thought) all laid out with candelabras, a veritable Swiss Army knife worth of cutlery (like many people of my generation though, I remembered that particular episode of Grange Hill that explained all that so I was unfazed) & a host of different glasses - a different wine for each couse of the meal, another for pink champagne & another for a cognac to end with.

We took our seats, employees down one side of the table & the 'hangers on' on the other. My early concerns as to why us freeloaders were being grouped together proved unfounded. I was sat between Rebecca & Nick, who were both very friendly & entertaining throughout the evening.



Nicky & I are the second from the front. You'll notice that there is evidence that Nick & I were the ones ensuring nothing went to waste. Everyone of those plates being carried by that waitress behind me went through us.

The meal was fantastic, to start we had caramelised onions on some sort of nougat base with some green leafy things & an unknown brown sauce which I could have happily munched on all night accompanied with wine. The we had a lamb cutlet with a boulangere of potatoes (I found no trace of French bread but it was delicious anyway) accompanied with more wine, then to finish we each had a selection of almost bite size rum flavoured desserts. There were three to a plate & I seemed to be the only person on the table that liked all three kinds so I ended up eating bloody hundreds of the things. Accompanied with more wine. & pink champagne. As the meal drew to a close most people indulged in the foulness of coffee while Rebecca & I monopolised the chocolates accompanied by some cognac.

After dinner there was an entertaining speech by the company MD who talked a bit about the history of the hall & the company, plus a few presentations of bouquets. Then the waiting staff attempted to encourage the guests who had all succumbed to the dangers of drinking while sitting down to make their way back to the reception hall for more drinks & dancing.

This time the hall was only open to people drinking mojitos ("I don't think it's a gay drink" /Brian), a cocktail of rum, lime juice, sugar & mint. There was also a free bar available to really finish everyone off.

I've never seen so much alcohol. & I've been to a *lot* of juggling festivals.

We danced the night away to a fantastic band where I picked up a number of puncture wounds from stiletto heels. Sadly I can't remember the name of the group but they were great:



It was a really amazing night, I couldn't believe it was over so quickly. Despite feeling totally out of my depth & out of place being surrounded by so much extravagance I never once felt unwelcome or uncomfortable. We staggered back to the hotel (again beating most of the people who got taxis) & joined a sit in protest at the bar who refused to serve us all (to be fair if I was the hotel manager I wouldn't have served us either!). I can't remember when exactly we called it a night. Nicky & I helped eachother back to our room having a soul searching conversation with the elevator on the way & fell into bed.

Bear with me while I dust this thing off...

Right then quick catch up time.

• Nix & I are still together...


• ...inexplicably, because I keep forgetting when she is supposed to turn up. While waiting for me to get ready she picks something off of my bookshelf. She is making steady progress through my Asimov collection.


• We had a fantastic 2 week break in Cornwall


• During that break we spent 4 days at BJC 2006...


• ...where I picked up a Kendama & have been hooked on it ever since


• I was back at work for almost 20 minutes before I felt I needed a holiday


• Lauren is still doing very well


• My Grandad is very ill & is receiving blood much faster than I'm donating


• My cat has had a tooth out & has been on a course of tablets for a liver problem. During this course I have learnt the true meaning of the word 'devious'


• I've been getting far too involved with work again to the point where I think of nothing else, although that said I have been enjoying it more recently I have actually created programs that have impressed myself!


• I have started trying to learn how to hold a decent handstand


• I will be going to the European Juggling Convention in July & I am very excited about seeing two legends from my world: Kris Kremo & Sergei Ignatov snr.

So yes, I am still alive!

It is a truly dire blogger who summarises the past few months in a bullet point list

I was going to talk about the new community but instead I wrote this:

Every now & then I do go on an Aboriginal walkabout, but I always have a reason, whether I know it or not. Last time I just wanted to be alone, this time round though I have had a great deal to talk about, but unfortunately that great deal of stuff could have got me into a great deal of trouble. I suppose it still could but hindsight has shown me that I needn't have worried quite so much as everything has worked out quite nicely & my friends who I possibly could have offended probably wouldn't have been.

So where have I been for the past few weeks? Well the only important bit of news I have is that I am no longer single. I have just started seeing a wonderful girl called N who is a colleague of mine. We've been close enough to be the subject of a healthy proportion of the office gossip for some time. It was amusing when we did tell people we were together how absolutely no one was the least bit surprised.

Probably the biggest reason why I've been keeping my thoughts to myself is that N is married although separated. Which despite my distaste of the whole 'female as item of property' thing was more than a minor technicality. The word 'married' still has a very powerful connotation of 'off limits'. I knew she was going through a breakup, & I really didn't want to add any more complications to her situation nor did I want to risk myself in something potentially ugly either. I was convinced that we could remain good friends without developping into more. I even ended up cajoling my friends into joining N & I on nights out so that it wouldn't appear as if the two of us were on a date. But we get on so well, we have similar interests, she is so easy to be around, we are just as affectionate as each other & she is very beautiful. Naturally my own actions always tended to undo any such work.

N is still married & I don't care in the slightest. Marriage is just a concept, & one that is out of synch with reality, in the normal course of a relationship a couple is in love long before they tie the knot & are out of love long before they file for divorce. The rings & marriage certificate may look nice & official but they don't reflect what the people are feeling. Somewhere there is an official document that states that N & her husband are blissfully bound in wedlock but I've experienced countless smiles, hugs & kisses that say otherwise.

I have taken to carrying round a piece of paper in my wallet that decrees that I can walk through walls. My piece of paper is just as accurate as that certificate, if not more so because not all walls are built out of solid brick.

I am happy in this world, we've only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks but things are going very well between us. & to think that I was going to not allow N & I to get closer because I wasn't sure we'd hit it off or it would have been too complicated. The one thing I've learnt over these past weeks is sometimes you simply have to stop analysing & just make a decision.