I'll think of a good title later

I was going to talk about the new community but instead I wrote this:

Every now & then I do go on an Aboriginal walkabout, but I always have a reason, whether I know it or not. Last time I just wanted to be alone, this time round though I have had a great deal to talk about, but unfortunately that great deal of stuff could have got me into a great deal of trouble. I suppose it still could but hindsight has shown me that I needn't have worried quite so much as everything has worked out quite nicely & my friends who I possibly could have offended probably wouldn't have been.

So where have I been for the past few weeks? Well the only important bit of news I have is that I am no longer single. I have just started seeing a wonderful girl called N who is a colleague of mine. We've been close enough to be the subject of a healthy proportion of the office gossip for some time. It was amusing when we did tell people we were together how absolutely no one was the least bit surprised.

Probably the biggest reason why I've been keeping my thoughts to myself is that N is married although separated. Which despite my distaste of the whole 'female as item of property' thing was more than a minor technicality. The word 'married' still has a very powerful connotation of 'off limits'. I knew she was going through a breakup, & I really didn't want to add any more complications to her situation nor did I want to risk myself in something potentially ugly either. I was convinced that we could remain good friends without developping into more. I even ended up cajoling my friends into joining N & I on nights out so that it wouldn't appear as if the two of us were on a date. But we get on so well, we have similar interests, she is so easy to be around, we are just as affectionate as each other & she is very beautiful. Naturally my own actions always tended to undo any such work.

N is still married & I don't care in the slightest. Marriage is just a concept, & one that is out of synch with reality, in the normal course of a relationship a couple is in love long before they tie the knot & are out of love long before they file for divorce. The rings & marriage certificate may look nice & official but they don't reflect what the people are feeling. Somewhere there is an official document that states that N & her husband are blissfully bound in wedlock but I've experienced countless smiles, hugs & kisses that say otherwise.

I have taken to carrying round a piece of paper in my wallet that decrees that I can walk through walls. My piece of paper is just as accurate as that certificate, if not more so because not all walls are built out of solid brick.

I am happy in this world, we've only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks but things are going very well between us. & to think that I was going to not allow N & I to get closer because I wasn't sure we'd hit it off or it would have been too complicated. The one thing I've learnt over these past weeks is sometimes you simply have to stop analysing & just make a decision.