OPHELIA'S RAINBOW

if i could miss you any more,than i already do,tell me love,will we never be?/ if i could love you any more,as much as i love you now,say to me, dear,things i so long yearn to hear./if i could hold you now my love,i know that i would need no dream,for as my bed would not be as cold and empty as it is now.where i long for your open arms,and the love of your embrace

I havent been making sales. So last week I was informed that I had two weeks in which i had an x amount of sales to make. If i did not do this i would be out of a job. My best friend akash told me today , tuesday , would be my day. That I would get a sign , to know He i should remain at blake international And moreso if i should keep trying with my guy, who works there as well. Well, as promised, i got my sign, And was also informed that they needed a verifier And asked If i would like to take the post. After 5 minutes i decided that any job is better than No job. Its much easier to do. I would be getting a thousand rand or so less. But it is still more than What i was earning at the bank when i left. So hey, getting paid to just read terms And conditions out to clients? Im not exactly happy. But i am relieved. Cos What i would be earning is far more than What most people earn if they are in durban. Its hard to get work here as well. And hey, i still get to be near the man i love. And see his face everyday. But i know He would be disappointed about the lower post And less pay i would be getting as he arranged for my initial interview at this company. But i did tell him i tried. And at least i know that after two weeks i still have a job. As my mom told me this morning, when one door closes, another opens. And was she right alright. Now the hard part is telling my guy,.. But Im sure i will be Okay.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! The inevitable has finally happened. I have finally been tagged. By my dear friend Carnage. Oh deary me. And I was tagged a few weeks ago but life has been hectic. But I have not broken the rules as I am now doing wha I was supposed to and that is answer the suite of questions that are compulsory to this "game".

Basically here is how it goes:
A. You choose 8 people.The people you tag cannot refuse. They must participate!
B. Those whom you tag MUST answer the questions on their blog, HOWEVER, you can replace ONE question that is formulated by you.
C. The people you tag must mention the person who tagged them BUT cannot tag that person back!
It continues and so forth...

1.If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
I would be devastated honestly. Think there is something wrong with me. Go into this whole "what is the purpose of my life". Then I'd get angry, pretend as though I don't care anymore , Get upset and depressed all over again and eventually get distracted by something and not notice or remember anymore to care or feel...

2.What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Depends on who the person is. If it's a good person, like a friend, I would still be thier friend but watch that my behaviour is not misleading in any way as to encourage their feelings.
If it was someone who I just couln't stomach for some reason or the other then I would hide and avoid them, but if they persisted I'd be rather mean and tell them off,not to be mean, just to get it through to them that it's not gonna happen.

3.What if question 2 was the other way around?
I would try to first be friends with them. Use that to the best of my advantage. If they come around then HURRAH! If they don't they are at a loss. Yes I would cry, get depressed, curse the day they were born etc, but I wear my heart on my sleeve, so I know someone else will distract me pretty soon.

4.Would you rather be dumped by your boyfriend/girlfriend ,or see him/her cheating on you?
I would not prefer either. I would not let it get to that stage. I would murder them before it ever got to that point. lol. No but seriously, I would see when a good thing is going bad and cut my losses before I find myself in a position were I would be hurt.

5.What's your ideal lover?
Hard to say. I used to have an ideal, but I realized the futility in having an ideal. Basically, if he loves me, accepts me as I am, respects me and ubderstands me, then I wont ask for much else.

6.Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved?
Neither. Loving oneself is the best way to be. If you love yourself, you will find happiness. You don't need to love someone to understand love, and you don't need anyone to love you to validate who you are.

7.If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue or change your feelings for them?
Um,...is this not sorta repeating question2? Read that for my answer.

8.If the person you like is already attached what would you do?
I don't go for people who are attached. If I meet somebody interesting I make sure I find out their relationship status before pursuing anything.

9.If you could leave everything behind and go to a place to start anew,where would it be?
France maybe, or the Italian countryside like Tuscany maybe. Somewhere where I would have a lot of time for myself.

10.What do want most in your life?
Happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is so much I could say to explain this, but I'm honestly not in the mood to get emotional right now, so I'll explain another time.

11.Is being tagged fun?
It is kinda, I like anwering questions...so yeah, I would say so.

12.If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
I honestly don't know, but I wouldn't let them see. I would just cut them out of my life.

13.Who is currently the most important person to you?
I would like to say family, but I will be hoest and say URESH NAIDOO. I wish things worked out...

14.What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
An amazing, witty, funny guy, who has never failed me at being a true and caring friend and whom I am blessed to know.

15.You always loved...........? (fill in the blank)
Music. It is the root to what makes my soul come to life. It is the essence of who I am,what I am, and ll that encompasses the truth of all I am meant to be.

16.What do you honestly wish you were doing right now?
I don't know, honestly I don't care, just as long as URESH was there with me. God I love him so much, And I miss him immensely.

17.Would you give your all in a relationship?
Depends how strong my feelings for the person are.Right now I would do anything to get things back to how they used to be with URESH.

18.If you fall in love with two people simutaneously, who would you pick?
I don't believe that's possible. You can love many people in your life, but you can only ever fall IN LOVE ont time.

19.What type of friends do you like?
The type that live up to the priveledge of me having given them the title of FRIEND.

20.Who/What is your inspiration?
Love. Again, too much to say to explain. and I'm not in the mood to gat all emotional right now. But I will explain at some point.

Well that's me.Hope you all enjoyed my psycological and emotional anatomy exposure. To my taggees, I'll inbox you.
CIAO!

here is a drawing of an angel my new friend wesley threw over to me on my desk at work.on it he wrote: TO MISS PALM READER! MY DESTINY IS TO MEET THIS ANGEL. IS IT TRUE? i wrote back and said INDEED! we call wes DUB. DUB is an extraordinary artist.the best was one that resembled one of our floor managers exactly.that was an awesome day. we had a great laugh. sadly they mixed teams and i am not with dub on the same team.

Being in love is a weird thing. You become things you never thought you would become. Like how I bought the Leona Lewis album. Because it makes me think of papa. God i miss him so much. I will see him today. BRAVO TODAY