Happy New Year! Hope everyone is nice and relaxed after the gluttony of the holidays. I, for one, am glad to be back on a normal schedule, which is strange because I HATE schedules. Go figure.

Anyways, I have a Meijer update for you. The store that I badmouth for having terrible customer service and retarded employees has struck back...literally. It was a few nights before Christmas, and I was doing some last minute shopping (along with half of the city). We were having guests at our house for the weekend, so I figured I should pick up some kitty litter so my precious Sandy wouldn't stink them out of the place. I stared at the gigantic display of scoopable clays with everything from crystals to color changing pellets to recycled newspaper (which my cat detests, and would much rather take a shit in one of my houseplants than in that stuff), and looked for a sale sign or some kind of "save now" coupon. Ah ha! Found one. Of course, it's on the top shelf, and I'm only 5'4". Being no stranger to climbing supermarket shelving, I hopped on the bottom shelf and reached for the box of Lavender scented Fresh Step--the 14lb box. I scooted it to the edge with my fingertips with the intent of letting it fall off, and I would catch it mid-air. Well Meijer employees, being the stocking geniuses that they are stacked another 14lb box of Fresh Step on top of the one I was grabbing. It was resting on another higher box behind it, allowing it to tilt ever so slightly and slide off right onto my face (my right eye/cheekbone area to be precise)--all 14lbs of it. GOD DAMMIT!!!!!! HOLY FUCK! Glad there were no children around to witness this verbal re-enactment of what I can only guess was running through Holyfield's head when Tyson bit his ear off. Needless to say, I got the damn litter ($2 off, by the way), and had to walk through the rest of the store with people staring at me wondering why on Earth I would go grocery shopping after someone just punched me in the face. I thought for sure I would have a black eye for Christmas, but I didn't. For a split second I thought of going to the meat case and ripping open a steak and slapping it on my face. Fuckers.

So, this is me looking Karma in the face and giving it the finger. Next time I'll wear a helmet (or bring my own coupon).

Seriously, this box fell off an 8 foot shelf and landed square on my eye. OWW!