In this moment I want to start saying million of Thanks to my friends, the ones who passed by here last days and leave their words, and the other ones who had no time, or couldn't come (I'm reasonable, there are thousand of posts and blogs to read). Thanks to that words, I was driven to feel better today.
By the other hand, I must tell I'm sorry, because sometimes I'm not the one I want to be. I think this is a problem in every human being, but it causes frustration, and sometimes anger. As suddendly as weather changes, my moods changes a lot too, and even when I'm fighting that since I was 12 or 13 years old, sometimes power goes away from my hands.
But today, even when a soft rain keeps on falling over the city, and it sounds in the roof of my studio at home, I feel much better that past 3 days. I'm smiling, I'm happy the best I can. I've been with friends today (more than 40 in a meal) and they supported me a lot. But yesterday and some days ago I was with my friends of MyOpera too, and found support too, in different ways (messages, comments, etc), and I feel so proud to count with you all.
In changing states of myself, I use to break down, collapse in negativeness, sadness and want not to see anybody. But a friend told me that people like me has to do the opposite: get up when we want to lay on bed; walk outdoor when we want to stay indoors (alone), look for friends when we want not to see anybody. I found that's true.
Many of you gave a great help even being so far. Doing nothing else than "listening", giving short comments, and NOT TRYING TO MINIMIZE MY PROBLEM, even when is possible it's real a minor problem. But in the middle of that situation, it seems huge.
My friends, today I'm OK, I feel well, and wanted to tell you about this thing.
There's a grey color that always follow me through the road and I can't make it change to shine on me. There's a silent mood that always gets inside my veins to hurt so deep and never give up until left me in this state I'm in.
I have tried to take another road to avoid its presence but it's clever than me, and finds the way to invade me again; I have tried to paint my walls of green... but the colors fade to grey again And I find myself lost under the rain of times... far away.
Some people looks at my eyes saying I would be able to look even far, and reach for a way home tomorrow. But even so, my strenght is weak, my hands are short and I'm sure I can't take a piece of universe to hide my sorrow.
So I say I'm sorry for being like I am I'd like to give you my best, but I can't My life is broken tonight and I have to go to nowhere.
Just because there's a grey color that keeps on following me through this road, a silent mood that keeps on coming inside my veins and I can't shake my worst things that live inside my soul that hurt so deep as to drive me to a repeated state of myself.
Right now I'm in my 2 last hours of school before start my winter vacations. I gave free time to my student to do what they want (under control ), and like me, they are expecting the vacations counting second by second.
In Uruguay we have 2 weeks free in July (this year starting in june). I have to participate in two exams in two of the colleges where I teach, and then, enjoy of my free time with my family.
Plans? I wanted to make a little trip, but I still don't have the payment of the classes, and I was waiting for it to travel. So, it's probably that we'll stay in Piriápolis and maybe visit Punta del Este (40km from Piriapolis). Cinema: Ice Age 3, A night in the musseum, StarTrek (that last one is very interesting for me). Friends: Make some pizzas at home and invite our friends to spend long nights. And if weather helps, breathe some clean air, here in Piriápolis, Punta del Este or Shangrilá. For next Monday there are posibilities of Weather alert in our coast, I hope nothing happens.
Must say this is not a bad winter at all. In fact, right now the sun is shining, and although is cold oudoors, I'm enjoying the heat of the burning woods at home, a cup of coffee and chocolate ( :yes ). Things in my life are OK, and nothing seems to put my feelings at risk
Anyway, the begining of wintertime is always a change of many things. Not just the season, but the feelings that are living inside of me, as much of us. I almost forgot the begining of wintertime, but finally it came, in a nice day (cold was not a problem until the sun was heating us). I was coming back home in the bus, quite tired, with my feelings in nowhere, and a strange mood. Then I arrived home, turned on the TV and there it was: a program I use to follow, about health. And that day was about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and bipolarity. Some years ago, after some consults and visits to some doctors, I found I have a mix of those disorders, but luckily, not so deep as to "collapse". Anyway I have to take care of myself, being in places with bright light, avoid listening to sad or slow music (my wife cares about what I listen to, new age and Moby is not allowed on present days), and take good rests.
After I knew about that syndrome, I learned to fight it. Since then, I always try to show the best face, and I use to say I'm OK, even when I feel broken inside. I don't deny smiles, because I want to give the best to other people around me, everybody has their own problems, and I never want to put more problems to their lives. Of course, there are days, usually when there are more than 2 days without sun, when I don't want to see anybody, don't want to talk and just want to be at home. In other ways, I see it's difficult to deal with common activities, and complete tasks. At this point, I want to say I'm sorry, because last days I've been far from Opera and other social-sites, no photos uploaded, no post... I had lazy days... but I hope to post something else from now (right now I feel well ).
Many times before I wanted to give more information about SAD and related syndromes. Today I found 2 sites with good information. One of them is a comercial site, but it offers a good point to start. I want to share with you that information.
I wish a nice winter for everybody... I'll try to follow that words too
Ayer, domingo 17 de mayo, a los 88 años de edad falleció en Montevideo el escritor uruguayo Mario Benedetti, reconocido en todo el mundo y con muchos admiradores. El mundo entero ha dado a conocer la noticia a través de los medios. Durante los últimos meses se hablaba de complicaciones en su salud, pero aun así, contó con una vida larga, llena de contenido poético y con la admiración de personalidades en todo el mundo.
Está siendo velado en el Salón de los pasos perdidos, del Palacio Legislativo hasta las 22 horas del día de hoy.
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Yesterday, Sunday, May 17, at 88 years old, died in Montevideo the Uruguayan writer Mario Benedetti, recognized throughout the world and with many fans. The whole world has knew the news through the media. Last months some news about health complications were given, but even so, he counted with a long life, full of poetic content and with the admiration of people around the world.
His body is recieving the last visit and good bye, in the Hall of Lost Steps, in Palacio Legislativo until 22 pm today.
25 years ago, the uruguayan popular duet, Los Olimareños, came back to Uruguay after their exile. For many years, during the military government, they were outside the Uruguay, and far from America some years, in Sweden, Spain and (coming back to America), Mexico and Argentina.
On 1984, after the democracy returned to Uruguay, they came to Uruguay, with thousands of people waiting for them. The same day there was a huge concert in Centenario Stadium, under the rain, and emotions, songs, hugs were present.
Some years after, the group was disolved, and they acted separated. But this year they announced to give one last concert together in the same place were they acted for last time, 25 years before: in Centenario Stadium. The concert was last weekend, and even when I couldn't be there, was following the facts on TV.
Their songs are about the people who lives in the rural areas of our country, about life in different places of Uruguay, our culture, our traditions and so on. The song I make reference in this post is about how time destroys places, in this case, the South neighbourhood, a place full of tradition in Uruguay, were time has erased some things (as the song says).
I just wanted to share a bit of their music, with one of my favourites: Adiós a mi barrio (Good by to my neighbourhood). It seems to transcend the good bye to a neighbourhood and tell about the entire country. Is a very emotional song.
Well, the last of the recent jobs for this year, teaching in the institute of an old-friend (old just because we know each other since high school).
This friday I begin teaching there, Web design, to start.
All the other places captived me a lot: Public and private schools where I work. Wonderful children in all cases! But I'm with opened eyes, because I've been watching there are some students with particular problems, and it's not easy to give the needed help everytime in this system, but sometimes is posible to do it with a little of atention and integrating them to activities. Uf... Teaching is a little of everything.
The worst thing? Filling forms, papers and lot of stuff. The best thing?: Work with all those children!
Best wishes for everybody.
[PS: I still have to answer some messages from contacts and fiends. Sorry, it's a question of time, but I'll be answering in next days]
In Uruguay there are no comfirmed cases of swine influenza. Until yesterday, there was a case under investigation, but not comfirmed. Anyway, all the world is paying atention to the news and facts of this global problem.
The Health Services here started some days ago a campaign to give the vaccine against flu to all the population (from 6 months old children). I went with my family today. Even when this vaccine is not against specific swine flu, the H. Services declared that is recommended for reduce the risks, and make easier diagnose possible cases. I have seen in some news and reports, how people is going in massive way to get the vaccine. Even when it seems not to find panic among the population, everybody is taking care and following the suggestions of authorities. I think this is a good thing to remark.
I've been in touch with a friend of Mexico, and a neighbour forwarded a mail from his son who is in Cancun, and I can note the preocupation in people there. How can a disease change all the activity of a country, and keep in alert to all the planet! It's clearly seen, we are so fragile.
I hope the best for all my friends, and all the world to keep safe from all this. Best wishes to all, and take care!!
Today was my first day of classes as teacher in Pan de Azúcar. I had 3 groups of first level today, 12 years old boys and girls. All the groups are different (as groups), but it was a pleassure to work with them this first day. I had a little problem, and is I can't remember names easily, and there are an average of 30 students per class, and is a nightmare for me in some moments. But I hope to know them well.
To work in a public space is a little different than in a private one, in some facts. But children are children, and they face the same problems, have same dreams, same questions, and are ready to learn no matter the place they are to study. I think I will learn a lot from this experience.
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Hoy fue mi primer día de clases como profesor en Pan de Azúcar. Tuve 3 grupos de primero how, chicos y chicas de unos 12 años. Todos los grupos son diferentes en cuanto a la manera de ser los grupos en sí mismos, pero fue un placer trabajar con ellos este primer día. Tengo un pequeño problema y es que no puedo recordar los nombres fácilmente, y hay un promedio de 30 estudiantes por clase, y se vuelve casi una pesadilla en algunos momentos. Pero espero conocerlos bien.
Trabajar en un espacio público es un poquito diferente que en un lugar privado, en algunos aspectos. Pero los chicos son chicos, y encaran los mismos problemas, tienen los mismos sueños, las mismas preguntas, y estan listos para aprender no importa el lugar en el que se encuentren para estudiar. Pienso que voy a aprender un montón de esta experiencia.
Today was my first day of classes as teacher in Pan de Azúcar. I had 3 groups of first level today, 12 years old boys and girls. All the groups are different (as groups), but it was a pleassure to work with them this first day. I had a little problem, and is I can't remember names easily, and there are an average of 30 students per class, and is a nightmare for me in some moments. But I hope to know them well.
To work in a public space is a little different than in a private one, in some facts. But children are children, and they face the same problems, have same dreams, same questions, and are ready to learn no matter the place they are to study. I think I will learn a lot from this experience.
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Hoy fue mi primer día de clases como profesor en Pan de Azúcar. Tuve 3 grupos de primero how, chicos y chicas de unos 12 años. Todos los grupos son diferentes en cuanto a la manera de ser los grupos en sí mismos, pero fue un placer trabajar con ellos este primer día. Tengo un pequeño problema y es que no puedo recordar los nombres fácilmente, y hay un promedio de 30 estudiantes por clase, y se vuelve casi una pesadilla en algunos momentos. Pero espero conocerlos bien.
Trabajar en un espacio público es un poquito diferente que en un lugar privado, en algunos aspectos. Pero los chicos son chicos, y encaran los mismos problemas, tienen los mismos sueños, las mismas preguntas, y estan listos para aprender no importa el lugar en el que se encuentren para estudiar. Pienso que voy a aprender un montón de esta experiencia.
), and like me, they are expecting the vacations counting second by second.
).
WIDGETIZE