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Pfelelep blog

où qu'on plagie sans vergogne les alligators

Posts tagged with "fifi"

I'LL BE BACK/ IL EST REVIENDU

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Creative Commons License

cafe hallucination

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Welcome to Lemma / La bêêête....

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Centipede
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Scientific classification:
Kingdom:Animalia
Phylum:Arthropoda
Subphylum:Myriapoda
Class:Chilopoda
Latreille, 1817

Orders:
Geophilomorpha
Lithobiomorpha
Scolopendromorpha
Scutigeromorpha


Centipedes (Class Chilopoda) are fast-moving venomous, predatory, terrestrial arthropods that have long bodies and many jointed legs. Chiefly nocturnal, centipedes are found primarily in tropical climates but are also widely distributed in temperate zones. Some species are highly venomous but human deaths are very rare (...)

Like the millipedes (which, unlike centipedes, are not venomous), centipedes are highly segmented (15 to 173 segments), but with only one pair of walking legs per segment. Centipedes are dorso-ventrally flattened, and are among the fastest and most agile of non-flying arthropod predators.

The head of a centipede has a pair of antennae, jaw-like mandibles, and other mouthparts. The most anterior trunk segment of a centipede has a pair of venomous claws (called maxillipeds) that are used for both defense and for capturing and paralyzing prey. Despite their name, which stems from the Latin words centum (meaning 'hundred') and pes, pedis (meaning 'foot'), they normally have around half that number of legs, though it is possible to find centipedes with over 200 legs.

The house centipede (Scutigera coleoptrata) is a fast-moving carnivore that feeds on insects such as cockroaches, house flies, and other small house pests, and is thus domestically beneficial in nature. Though generally harmless to humans, its alarming appearance and painful bite (like a bee sting) result in its extermination from residences (...)
I made a photo album out of this freak

en français:
Chilopoda
Article de Wikipedia, l'encyclopedie libre

Les chilopodes (Chilopoda) sont une classe d'arthropodes myriapodes. Chacun des nombreux segments porte une paire de pattes sauf le premier dont la paire d'appendices est transformée en paire de crochets à venin appelés forcipules et les deux derniers. Les chilopodes sont prédateurs d'autres arthropodes ou de vers. Ils sont tous terrestres mais ont besoin d'un milieu humide car leur cuticule ne possède pas de couche de cire leur permettant de résiter à la sècheresse, ils sont aussi lucifuges (ils fuient la lumière). La morsure des plus grandes espèces est douloureuse pour un homme adulte et peut parfois être dangereuse pour un enfant(...)
tiens, pour la peine, j'en ai fait un album photo

belly button / nombrilisme

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(in french, we have an expression: "looking at our belly button", means REALLY self-centered)
(EDIT: "navel gazing" in english, thanks Mickeyjoe)

Recently I went back to France for 2 weeks and I had the occasion to witness the french ethnocentric funnel of french medias.

I don't think my french fellows will disagree (but who knows?) but those days, when you turn on the TV, every hour a new broadcasting will remind you about the coming elections and/or interview one of the campaigners.

I mean, every single hour.

Every day, EVERY DAY, a new poll is telling us about the position and predictions of the first and second tour (ballot?) of the coming elections. Each new poll cancelling the prognosis of the previous one.

But, the most important to me (and this is not related to our "coming election period"), in french TV news, the proportion of international actuality is ridiculous compared to the national actuality proportion.

On march 6, a violent earthwake in Sumatra (Indonesia) kills more than 70 people.
20 seconds just before weather forecast.
On the other hand, a long coverage reminds us the recrudescence of GPS thievery and the opening of a small naturism campsite on the Cote d'Azur.

That wouldn't be such a big deal (according to me), if france (and us french people) are always showing-off in every situation and occasion as light-nation and cultural capital city of the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciDS6djIK1A
(too bad there's no english subtitles, but just understand that the guy cannot make his decision between what gravitate around earth: the moon or the Sun....)Homer: Doh!

In China and Hong Kong, I've seen that their TV news do a worldwide coverage of actuality. Europe, USA, South America, Asia, Africa, Australia. Every place, every country.
When was the last time when us, french people, did hear about Australia? Or Portugal?
In France we do not care about the rest of the World.
Except the war in Irak, and the coming next war in Iran. This is directly related to the price of Gas in OUR cars.

Self-centered, that's what we are.
Looking at our belly-button.


en français:
J'ai eu l'occasion de rentrer 2 semaines en France, et de me replonger dans le gigantesque entonoir ethnocentriste de la vision franco/française dans les médias télévisuels.

Ce ne sont pas mes compatriotes qui vont me contredire (encore que...) mais en ce moment, lorsque l'on allume la TV, il ne se passe pas une heure sans qu'une émission vienne nous rappeller les prochaines éléctions présidentielles et/ou interviewer l'un des 2 grands candidats.

Pas une heure sans qu'on nous le rabâche.

Chaque jour, CHAQUE JOUR, un nouveau sondage vient nous informer de la position et des prédictions du 1er et 2ème tour des élections à venir. Chaque sondage venant annuler le pronostic du précédent.


Et (et cela n'est pas à cause de la période pré-électorale actuelle) dans les JTs français, la part allouée à l'actualité internationale représente une fraction infime de l'émission.

Le 6 mars un violent séisme fait plus de 70 morts sur l'île de Sumatra en Indonésie.
20 secondes juste avant la météo.
En revanche, un long reportage va nous rappeller la recrudescence des vols de GPS en voiture et l'ouverture d'un nouveau petit camping pour naturistes sur la Côte d'Azur.

Ce ne serait pas si grave (à mes yeux) si la France (et nous autres français) ne s'étalait en toutes circonstances sur nos qualités de nation phare et capitale culturelle du monde.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciDS6djIK1A


En Chine et à Hong Kong, j'ai pu vérifier que leurs journaux télévisés traitent et analysent les évènements d'actualité de l'ensemble de la planète. Europe, USA, Amérique du Sud, Asie, Afrique, Australie. Tout y passe.
C'est quand la dernière fois qu'on a entendu parler de l'Australie ou du Portugal depuis la France? En France, on ne s'intéresse pas au reste du Monde.
Sauf la guerre en irak, et celle à venir en Iran. Ca, ça concerne directement le prix de l'essence de nos bagnoles.

Nombrilisme, j'écris ton nom....
....dans mon nombril.

Trip back to Hong Kong /Retour au pays

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English translation
my plane trip back to Hong Kong was in economic class, the kind of place where you have 90% chances to get a painful neighbor.
"Jezuz, how cheeky..."

A bad mannered person who thinks that the whole plane belongs to him, and especially the whole seat and everything around.

And I was sweating out.
"Stay cool pfel', he will soon finish his paper and then..."

But no, he was spreading more and more.

Adding the fact he was farting with no refrain (we knew he was the one because the smell disappear as soon he left for the toilets)

a 13 hours long flight, tidy near a fart-spreading guy...

trying to escape, I used the "fall asleep at all cost" ninja technic.

He mistook his reading lamp and turn on mine to read again during the night...

Finally I tried the "Coue in Coma" method
sleepsleepsleepsleep....

until I smelled a new flagrance....

He was eating onion Pringles® chips

I dreamed farting Pringles® all flight long
October 2008
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