this weekmonthyear life i know why too - haven't had a decent conversation with another human being in a good long time and i haven't had any human physical contact in a long time, i haven't slept well for the last week and i don't eat well. the stress at work is high and progress on my projects is very very slow. i got paid last week and spent it all already; even had to use some savings and the transfer is taking too long so i fear i will be drowning in overdraft fees in a few days. i feel abandoned by the people in my life and alone. i tried calling my brothers today and i just couldn't connect with them, didn't feel like we could get any kind of conversation started. maybe i will just go to sleep
of a life of bad habits is not easy. i work too much and i don't do much else. and it is turning me into someone i don't like - not even a little bit. so i need a change of pace. my lease is up at the end of August and I am making plans to move - nowhere definite yet, but I am looking. I am hoping to find a good roommate but my cynicism tells me that won't go well. i had plans to go rock climbing regularly this summer. that hasn't worked out so well and i am upset about it. sometimes work gets in the way (about 3 weeks in a row, actually) but this last week i was sick and another two times i flaked because of the drive out to the mountains and concerns about getting stuck in traffic. i have had plans for a long time to be more active and use my bike and running shoes more but let's face it: i'm lazy.
outside the last row of streetlights. \ and grabbed my coat as i stepped out onto the vacant Wal*Mart parking lot. \ evening rain had washed nearly all the stink off the asphalt. / - at least the pavement wasn't slippery anymore. / as i stood in the darkness, a cool, misty breeze lifted my face \ and i realized there is something immensely peaceful about \ the emptiness \ the uniformity \ the quietness \
i should be studying and reading all day every day and do you wanna know what i do when i come home? eat junk food and watch Battlestar Galactica on hulu
ah, Opera i miss you. i wish things here were a bit more lively and i didn't forget about you so often.
that being said. what's new here in my little slice of life is that my bike is up and running! it now takes me ~5min to get to school (instead of 15) and i feel much freer than before. just something about being mobile puts me in a good mood (it comes from being born in the States, i think) - especially when this mode of transport doesn't cost me an arm and a leg at the pump or in insurance. true it is a death-wish of sorts (especially in this city) and needs some work and i can't really go out on it if i want to not be a sweaty mess when i get there and i can't take it up into the mountains or all the way across town unless i have the whole day. but it is the psychological impact of it. that and i get to fix it when it breaks - i miss working with my hands. like mine but with greener handlebars, flatter tires and fewer pedals. even though my stem is crooked
that you are merely interested in (and not "passionate" about) is that eventually you are going to have to produce some kind of work for the class. in this case it is a presentation on the Hep A virus.
this is especially a problem if you have yet to settle on a thesis lab and are interested in impressing faculty. because if i give a crappy presentation then word gets around that i am a lame-ass student who doesn't take things seriously, then i may get passed over for a spot in a lab and, well, i just can't let that happen.
so, if anyone has anything brilliant to say about "Disruption of innate immunity due to mitochondrial targeting of a picronaviral protease precursor" please, let me know.
just browsing down the ol' blog here and noticing how dark it is. life isn't really that bad for instance i recently realized that i can keep my car! and still have a savings account! so i'm pretty stoked about that. so, Happy New Year! I hope you find something you can be joyful about this year.
WIDGETIZE