By ROBERTA MARIA ATTIrobertamaria. Friday, March 23, 2012 2:42:14 PM
following my orbit obediently,
around a Star I could not see.
Out of my slumber there came a desire
that pierced my consciousness,
with a longing I could not voice.
From the center of my being,
where I held a fragment of light and heat,
there came a music I could not hear.
And then I was hungry, and thirsty,
for the nectar of a fruit,
ripe, and juicy with a sweetness I could not taste.
My story began to change
as I willingly sacrificed my peace,
and allowed myself
to be guided my desires.
At first I confined my awareness
within the prison of time and space,
that I may be given a past and a future
upon which to rest my memory
and my vision.
My inner reality changed,
to struggle, and loneliness,
that Iˇ may intensify
the Universe’s joy
upon my return
from such perilous journey.
And so it was that my Word,
unspoken until now,
was made flesh,
and bound by a covenant
fashioned within the depths of mystery.
I was given a body that could bleed,
and and a mind that could suffer untold agonies
of separation and loss.
I felt pain,
as my heart began pulsating.
I wished for death,
as if my own illusions could change
the Divine script
I had been given
in answer to my prayer.
But deep within the seasons of my life
I saw myself dance,
and I heard myself sing,
as I gave birth
over and over again
to the dream of splendor that had come forth
from my tortured soul.
And slowly, as I watched and listened,
I understood the meaning of my yearning,
beyond those doubts
that had surrounded me like clouds,
gray and heavy with a desperate rain.
I yearned for the nightingale’s song,
and the scent of hyacinth;
and the glimmer of moonlight
upon gentle waves,
that are born of the sea
and die on the shore,
but not without hearing magic words of love
spoken tenderly by passionate lovers,
embracing on the beach
under graceful palm trees.
I yearned for butterflies
that dance in the warm summer breeze,
but just until sunset,
and the eagerness
of a child’s mouth,
as it drinks from mother’s breast
the sweet milk
that springs forth from an ancient alchemy,
hidden within her blood.
I yearned for youth,
and innocence and vigor,
while yielding to the wisdom
that comes with age,
in a realm where giant sequoia
to the passage of time
and to the illusion of space,
as hesitant baby birds
learn to entrust their tiny bodies
to the blue sky that surrounds them.
I yearned for darkness, that I may see the light;
and for silence, that I may hear the song;
and for doubt, that I may know the truth.
As I awaken
and I return to ecstasy,
where I belong.
But not without a blessing.
R. M. A.