1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.
15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
16. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will whine when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen, but will always say: "Enter Password Now".
22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. Tires will squeal on any surface, at any speed.
23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
I have just made a My Opera widget of my blog! Now, accessing my updates is easier and convenient. All you have to do is download the widget by clicking the bloody rose and if you like it click 'keep it'! Try it! If you have also made widgets of your own blog or site, tell me so I can download it as well. If you guys don't know what I am talking about.. check it out yourselves!
Note that you can only run or use this widget if you have an Opera 9 (or higher) browser. Also, this is not YET functional for mobile users... NOT YET
I am sooo happy. Sooo happy that I even cried more than 10 times early this afternoon. I even jumped and danced in the rain!
June 3, 2009 at 3pm was the moment of truth for us freshmen taking BS Nursing at Trinity University of Asia. We have to pass the nursing aptitude exam, pass the interview and maintain a GPA of 2.15. Also, there should be no inceident reports or any violations made for the whole year.
At 3pm, we would receive a letter on whether or not we are still qualified to continue our studies as a nurse and advance to BSN-II. If we fail, it's either we shift course or move to another school.
Freshmen would either get an envelope containing a letter of "Congratulations" or "Thank you" letter with all your transcripts saying you have to move out.
What did I get?
I was seriously crying even before I got my envelope. I know I'm going to fail. Yet, I was still hoping to the Lord that he will create a miracle that I will pass. I rarely asks stuff to God. Most of the time it's just 'sorry' and 'thank you'. Now I begged him to help me.
I am sooo flippin' happy! OMG! THANK YOU SOO MUCH LORD! I owe this to you! My God! I still can't get over it. I was still crying when I got home from school.
When I got home, I delivered the good news to my parents. It was so-so. As if they were expecting it. They didn't realize the hardships I had to go through just to be accepted in that school! I even got scolded and a few tongue-lashing due to some tuition issues. All my happiness disappeared for a moment. *sigh*
Anyways... THANK YOU GOD!! I SOOO LOVE YOU! Congratulations to my other fellow classmates who also got qualified! As for those who didn't... don't worry. It just means God has other plans for you
But seriously... I was about to attempt suicide if I didn't pass. I already made a farewell post and set it on June 5 so you will only see that post after 2 days after I wrote it. Thank goodness I passed.
Here is the whole text from the letter I got:
TRINITY UNIVERSITY OF ASIA ST. LUKE'S COLLEGE OF NURSING
June 03, 2009
MANGAHAS, LADY KAREN
Greetings from Trinity University of Asia - St. Luke's College of Nursing! We trust this reaches you in great health!
CONGRATULATIONS!
We are pleased to inform you that based on the evaluation of the Nursing Admission and Screening Committe, you are qualified to pursue the BSN II program of Trinity University of Asia - St. Luke's College of Nursing.
Kindly bring this letter during the enrollment for First Semester 2009-2010.
As part of the group of students who have successfully hurdled the screening process, you are required to undergo the following:
Attend the orientation for Second Year Nursing students on the first week of classes
Laboratory and Physical examinations
Details of schedules and venues for the orientation and for laboratory and physical examinations would be posted prior to the start of classes this coming first semester of academic year 2009-2010.
Please be advised, however, that the institution still has the prerogative to cancel or hold you admission for any justifiable or valid reason.
Wife: Dear, the light in the kitchen doesn't work. Can you fix it? Husband: Why? I'm not an electrician!
Wife: The drain in the bathroom is clogged. Can you do something about it? Husband: Why? I'm not a plumber!
Wife: Can you please fix that hole on the ceiling? Husband: Why? I'm not an carpenter!
The husband went out and drank with his friends. When he came back, all of the things his wife was complaining about were fixed.
Husband: Wow! Who fixed those? Wife: The neighbor dropped by and said he will fix everything. But it's either I have sex with him or give him a cake. Husband: So.. did you bake him a cake? Wife: Why? I'm not a baker!
Thanks for Cois! His "How the fight started" made me remember this joke.
OMG! OMG! I just watched the trailer of the movie "New Moon". As some of you may not know, New Moon is the sequel of the book/movie "Twilight". I so love the book (or rather Edward Cullen) but I hate the movie sooo much! Anyways, after watching the trailer... I felt sooo excited! I can't wait to rant about the movie and write a critique about it. I could already say a lot of bad stuff just by watching the trailer.
Okay... I can't control myself and I just have to say this one. WTH!? Did you see the part where Bella (AKA Kirsten Stewart) asked Edward for a kiss? That acting was so weird.
Can I ask for something?
She was like too anxious or in her mind it's like "Come on! Let's get this over with!!! Ugh!" And did you see her face at 0:17? WTF?! But I like the wolf thing. Maybe the special effect will be better this time. They changed the director from Catherine Hardwicke to Chris Weitz, the director of THE GOLDEN COMPASS.
Well, I'm still excited to see the movie... And expect some brutal rants and critisims.
OMG! I just realized it earlier today... I have been a My Opera member for a year already!!! Yey! I don't really know what to say much. Hahaha.. sucks huh?
Okay, enough of my drama regarding my previous post. I'm tired and nothing good will come out of it. Come what may. Anyways, I saw a drawing of Shrek in my notebook earlier while I was cleaning up. I didn't know who draw it but it made me remember a certain text message I received a year ago.
It goes like this:
One day a girl had a new boyfriend. He was so damn ugly. Her friends asked, "Why him?"
She laughed and simply said, "Haven't you girls watched 'Beauty and the Beast'? He'll turn into a prince for sure!"
Their friends laughed out louder and said, "Haven't you watched 'Shrek'? You'll turn into an Ogre for sure!"
Of course I received this text in Tagalog and translated it.
A lot of people should really try to learn that no matter how perfect a certain person's life can be, you just have to realize that your own life is better.
I am sick and tired of people telling me that, "It's okay.", "Don't worry!", most specifically, "It's going to be alright."
I'm not talking about someone in particular. I'm talking about EVERYONE in particular.
Some people need a little head bashing or two. They have to open their eyes and realize that most of the time, saying "Not to worry" or "It's fine" doesn't change anything sometimes, they make it worse.
Actually, this thought has been on my mind for the past few years, and it's about time that I brought it up. This past few days my life is full of "comforting words" from my friends. Not that I blame them, but seriously... (thanks for the effort though) but it doesn't really help.
The worst thing is that they say those lines without even understanding the situation. They fail to accept the truth and live in their own belief of reality. And I'm not just referring to my own situation here.
It's hard to understand and hard to explain.
People think just because I have a family and money to get by means I am happy and practically live better than most of the population. Have you ever wondered what it feels like having something yet feel like having nothing would have been much better? It's like having a brand new gaming console that no matter how hard you try you can't use it. It's like having a family and yet feel it would have been better off if it didn't exist.
Hard to understand... Hard to explain.
No matter what other people say, I can't shake off the feeling that it's all my fault. Even though I said it a thousand times that life would have been better for others if I didn't exist, people try to say, "Awwww Karen... That's not true." Sh*t! Well... I wanna kick the ass of every person that said that. What the hell do they know?! Argh!
Yet, I don't really hate the people who say those "suppose to be comforting" phrases. Even though they understand, even though they want to help... most of the time, that's the only thing they can offer.
Words that can give you a little bit of hope and give you a little tug upwards.
What I really hate at the moment is myself. Because no matter how much lines of concern were said to me, I still feel so hopeless and devastated. I have wasted their efforts of giving me hope that "It's going to be alright."
How dare I detest people just because they are concerned? How can I actually feel that way towards my friends? They are just trying to help yet I'm posting something like this about "how I hate it when people say this and that to me".
I even hate myself more because I can't even say a sincere "Thank you" everytime they try to comfort me. But really... what everyone is trying to do doesn't help. Maybe "Thanks for the effort".
I'm the worst.. ain't I?
All I can say right now is I'm sorry. Sorry. I appreciate the help and all, but saying something to me that "It's going to be alright" just makes me sooo annoyed because it never will. I don't blame the others. I blame myself.
I just grabbed this from Yahoo. Do you simply have an excellent sense of style or are you a bona fide snob? If two or more stuff here fits you... then you are a SNOB. Only one of the stuff here describes me though.
The Name Game You name-drop -- from the pricey bottle of "Dom" you downed last night to how ultra-comfy your new "Gucci" loafers are.
Kennedy-itis You hide the truth about your humble family background. Instead of proudly talking about dad's career as a plumber, you refer to him as an "engineer."
Auto-Phobia When your date shows up in a non-luxury ride (something other than a BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche), you feel the urge to feign illness because you'd rather take an ambulance than get in a "junker."
Shopping Secrets You only shop discount stores at a computer in the privacy of your home because the thought of being spotted with a cart full of goods at K-Mart makes you shudder.
Bling Bias When it comes to engagement rings, smaller stones make you feel bad for the bride.
Food Fears When someone suggests a restaurant where you serve yourself, you laugh. So, any eating that requires waiting in line, especially fast food, is out of the question.
Label Mania Even when it comes to plain old basic white t-shirts, the ones by trusty brands such as Hanes and Fruit of the Loom are out of the question. You need designer names on everything from you socks to your undies.
Gift Gripes When friends give you gifts, you think right away about how much it cost. Maybe you even believe the quality of the relationship is equivalent to the price of the goody. The more expensive the item, the closer you feel to your friend.
Supermarket Snubbing When you see a man tossing Pop-Tarts into his basket at the market, you get the urge to read him the list of unhealthy ingredients. You judge people in the checkout line by the number of frozen entrees and salty snacks they're buying.
Pet Peeves Your "babies" are costly purebreds that you dress like four-pawed princes and princesses. And you judge other pet-owners who don't serve their animals organic dinner off real china.
Wow. The wonders of the internet. It's amazing how it takes a load off your stress. Just relax, look at the screen. Go browse around and find some LMAO jokes and stories. Post in a forums, visit other blogs. While you're at it... grab a cereal. Then let hell break loose when you just see the same cereal you are eating online... except its in a different form. Does it look familiar?
A 17 year old dude was accused of killing his mother last week. He intentionally strangled her to death. Not only that, he actually fucked (sexually abused) the corpse of his ver own mother. That was just seriously whacked. Raping your mother is bad... but raping her dead body?! What the F!
After all that, he just dumped the copse in a trash can. The guy is charged with first-degree murder, felony murder and abuse of a corpse in the death of his mother, Sherry R. Cooper, 36, at her Lake Terrace housing development apartment on Thursday.
Another guy named Johnson was charged along with the 17 year old dude. He's like his accomplice or something.
Hahahaha. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! Without you guys, we wouldn't be alive in this world
I would personally want to great my mom a "Happy Mother's Day" and thank you for everything you have done. You have accepted me as who I am and I'm really happy that I have you.
BTW, my mother's day present is a caramel cake. I didn't bake it (sadly), but I saved a lot of money to purchase that certain cake. It was a bit expensive but worth it. You guys should try Estrell's Caramel Cakes if ever you visit the Philippines. Look for me and I'll treat you The cake wasn't sweet yet it's the melt in your mouth kind. It was sooo worth the money!
The cake looked wonderful and lovely... sadly, we ate it before we even bothered to take a picture of it
Haha! I closed down my blog for a while for some personal reasons. Anyways, its up and running again
I just checked my mails here on My Opera, and after replying to Moesring's message, I found this (I changed any names and e-mail addresses mentioned for everybody's sake):
Hello Dearest One, you can contact me with my private email; vivian11XXXXX@yahoo.co.th
Good day to you Dearest, My name is Miss Vivian XXXXX I hope this mail finds you well & healthy and i hope we can established a good relationship since we are meeting for the first time,i have gone through fasting and prayers asking God to lead me to a trust worthy person who will help me with this transaction and it interests me to contact you aftter my prayers for an assistance to help me transfer this Sum of 10.7 Million USA dollars my father deposited in a bank here in Cot divoire before he was assasinated. i nees some one that is honesty that i can trust with love,truth,caring,& respect,i have all this qualities in me and i believe you have all this qualities too, that is why i decided to contact you for this assistance.
I will like you to contact me as soon as possible so that we can know ourselves better. please do send me your telephone number so that i can give you a call and as well send you more details regarding to the transfer of my inheritance to your account to enable me come over to your country for an investment as God may permit
Thanks and hoping to hear from you soonest.
Yours, Miss Vivian XXXXX
vivian11XXXXX@yahoo.co.th
Thank you very much Ms. Vivian for the compliments, however I'm not in the right age to help you as of now
I wonder what kind of scam this is? If they really are seeking help shouldn't they go to some bank of law firm or something?
It was a good laugh though. If ever this 'Vivian' is serious, I'm sorry that I can't help.
Most of you, or rather most of the people I know that I am under strict diet and exercise. I'm gradually seeing some improvements and I think I'm doing great. I don't exactly follow the tips I have posted before about losing weight the healthy way - actually it is far from that.
I was thinking of making this private, but I don't see how would that help. I know that all of you will be very disappointed in me and probably think of my as stupid.
Aside from eating more healthy foods, lessening food consumption, and exercise, I have done something totally different from what I call 'healthy way of losing weight'. I am totally against being anorexic just because you want to look thin, and now I feel very disgraced and shamed of myself.
Last Tuesday, I woke up late for school and had to venture out without eating breakfast. Since I forgot to bring cash, I didn't get to eat at school either. I was famished when I got home in the afternoon and 'binged'. I ate 4 cups of rice, 3 servings of 2 chosen dishes, a bread dessert, 7 glasses of water, 1 mango, a few biscuits/crackers, and a sandwhich. How did those all fit in my stomach? Don't ask. I was disappointed at myself for binging and I was afraid that all my hard work at dieting has gone to waste. (Note: Binging that day is not the cheif problem) I remember reading a post from ------ regarding Bulimia Nervosa. Not that ------ actually influenced me I know about Bulimia very well but it just sort of reminded me, it's just maybe... just maybe... if I puke out everything I ate, or atleast a portion of it since I don't want to feel hungry again, I may still get back on my diet track.
So I puked atleast 20% of what I ate.
It wasn't easy. I had to stick in my 'clean and washed' finger down my larynx (throat) for some time and it didn't feel good. I felt a little satisfaction when I finished. I thought to myself, "That's not bad. I mean, it won't be a disorder for me. It's my choice and I won't go totally bulimic and I totally have self-control over this."
The next day, I didn't get to eat breakfast, but I ate at at the college canteen. When I got home, my mom cooked my favorite dish... 'Nilagang Baka'. It's a filipino dish with beef, soup, potatoes, cabbages, etc. I think it's beef stew in english or something. I couldn't resist and I ate too much again. Even though I was already full, I stil ate. In the end, I puked most of it and went on my merry way.
Here is the part where it totally goes out of hand. Puking became my daily ritual. After the third day, I promised not to puke again. I am a nursing student so I know the effects of being bulimic. I can't believe it!
I AM BULIMIC!!
Puking for the first time didn't feel that way. I thought that was just one time. But the success of the first one made me go for the second and third. Earlier this day, I puked again... not because I binged, but I ate chips.. a big bag of chips.
I was thinking before about how could people not stop the things they are addicted to when they don't like it themselves. Now I understand. TOTALLY! I don't want it, but it's happening!
I understand why this is happening to me. I am afraid that I may not be able to stop. I'm afraid that I may damage my throat, esophagus, body metabolism, teeth, etc. I am afraid to lose after all the hard work of dieting.
I do not go on a diet just to look good, but to be healthy. Looking pretty is just 10% of the reason. My body mass index tells me I'm fine though.
Anyways, I am totally ashamed of myself from developing a disorder and try my best to actually stop it. No more puking for me unless Mik decides to wear a bikini (peace Mik!) or I see someone in a skirt wearing traditional crocs.
Any tips are appreciated, although don't misunderstand. I am totally aware of what I am going through and I'm still in the beginning stage... so it won't be hard to revert back. But being in the bulimic newbie stage is also crucial as it might determine if I will become a full-pledged bulimic.
you mommy!!! 
(15%)
WIDGETIZE