People are aware of life when they are aware of death

I am sooo happy. Sooo happy that I even cried more than 10 times early this afternoon. I even jumped and danced in the rain!

June 3, 2009 at 3pm was the moment of truth for us freshmen taking BS Nursing at Trinity University of Asia. We have to pass the nursing aptitude exam, pass the interview and maintain a GPA of 2.15. Also, there should be no inceident reports or any violations made for the whole year.

At 3pm, we would receive a letter on whether or not we are still qualified to continue our studies as a nurse and advance to BSN-II. If we fail, it's either we shift course or move to another school.

Freshmen would either get an envelope containing a letter of "Congratulations" or "Thank you" letter with all your transcripts saying you have to move out.

What did I get?



I was seriously crying even before I got my envelope. I know I'm going to fail. Yet, I was still hoping to the Lord that he will create a miracle that I will pass. I rarely asks stuff to God. Most of the time it's just 'sorry' and 'thank you'. Now I begged him to help me.



I am sooo flippin' happy! OMG! THANK YOU SOO MUCH LORD! I owe this to you! My God! I still can't get over it. I was still crying when I got home from school.



When I got home, I delivered the good news to my parents. It was so-so. As if they were expecting it. They didn't realize the hardships I had to go through just to be accepted in that school! I even got scolded and a few tongue-lashing due to some tuition issues. All my happiness disappeared for a moment. *sigh*

Anyways... THANK YOU GOD!! I SOOO LOVE YOU! Congratulations to my other fellow classmates who also got qualified! As for those who didn't... don't worry. It just means God has other plans for you

But seriously... I was about to attempt suicide if I didn't pass. I already made a farewell post and set it on June 5 so you will only see that post after 2 days after I wrote it. Thank goodness I passed.

Here is the whole text from the letter I got:

TRINITY UNIVERSITY OF ASIA
ST. LUKE'S COLLEGE OF NURSING

June 03, 2009

MANGAHAS, LADY KAREN

Greetings from Trinity University of Asia - St. Luke's College of Nursing! We trust this reaches you in great health!

CONGRATULATIONS!

We are pleased to inform you that based on the evaluation of the Nursing Admission and Screening Committe, you are qualified to pursue the BSN II program of Trinity University of Asia - St. Luke's College of Nursing.

Kindly bring this letter during the enrollment for First Semester 2009-2010.

As part of the group of students who have successfully hurdled the screening process, you are required to undergo the following:

1. Attend the orientation for Second Year Nursing students on the first week of classes
   
2. Laboratory and Physical examinations
   

Details of schedules and venues for the orientation and for laboratory and physical examinations would be posted prior to the start of classes this coming first semester of academic year 2009-2010.

Please be advised, however, that the institution still has the prerogative to cancel or hold you admission for any justifiable or valid reason.

Best regards,

Prof. Gisela DA Luna
Dean

YEY!

Wow! Two Friday the 13th's in a row! I just realized it today during lunch time. Anyways, I went online to tell you something that happened yesterday and today.

I am so sorry. I might have looked selfish, but I am afraid to get hurt. I can't do it now. It's too early for me no matter what other people say.

We had a 5 hour vacant period yesterday, so we decided we should finish up with the presentation and start brainstorming for our defense. We ate and stayed at Burger King for lunch, and after eating, my partner and I decided that we should start practicing our parentheral skills. I was a bit nervous because, I used to have hours of hysterics due to needles piercing my skin. My partner wanted to be the client/patient first so I infused him with sterile NSS using a size 25 needle in the subcutaneous area. I was sooo nervous! And I read the procedures more than 5 times to make sure I do it right. The end result was okay. Then it was my turn. Just as I decided to hesitate, I was surprised as the needle already punctured my skin. It was too late and it was painful! Maybe something went wrong but once the needle was inserted, I felt pain. During the infusion, I felt pain, While removing the needle, I felt pain. 10 mins after the whole procedure, I still a tingling sensation... which was pain. It was only during the insertion or infusion where I will feel pain. Anyways, there was something wrong. The needle didn't reach the subcutaneous area. But it was okay, except for the swollen part.

Today, I did the intradermal injection on my partner. I did it wrong because the needle was on the epidermis. It was suppose to be on the dermal layer of the skin. According to the instructions, the bevel/needle should be embossed on the skin. So I tried to be superficial as I can, but the entire needle was visible under the skin. So, I think it was wrong, so I withdrew the needle thinking that the skin might break once I infuse the NSS. After that, I did an intramuscular on my partner. My hands were shaking and I almost forgot to aspirate the syringe to check if I pierced and artery or vein. It was another success for me.

But the highlight for the day was during dismissal time. It was my turn to be injected. I was still smiling and laughing while cleaning the area to be used, but deep inside I was nervous. My tears started to fall down when he was loading NSS at the syringe. He asked me if I want to continue, and I said 'go ahead'. I think it took more than 30 minutes before he gave up. I was crying so bad, yet I kept telling my partner that it was okay. The needle didn't even get closer than 5 inches on my skin and I was already calling for my mother. I kept on telling me to just 'do it' but he hesitated because of all my crying and screaming. In the end, it was pathetic. I tried to face my fears and was willing, but my face doesn't show it at all.



Anyways, I was willing to be injected for the sake of getting over it and it would be unfair for my partner, but I was bawling at the same time like some brat. Our return demo for that will be next week, so good luck!

By tomorrow, I promise that a needle will pierce my skin using intramuscular method.



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P.S. I won't be active for the coming week, and I won't be able to visit your blogs since I will be studying for our upcoming Final Exams. I have a lot to catch up on especially since there are books on certain subjects where I haven't read yet. There are even chapters that I haven't peeked in. It's a miracle that I still pass my tests... well, most of them.