Monday, June 22, 2009 7:39:40 PM
I watched as the stars faded from sight
and I drifted from the light
Hoping a crimson ribbon will catch me around my wrist
As I fall toward these rotting corpses
A pit leading to fleshless bodies.
I want to cut you open
I want to see your insides
I want to know what's REALLY there.
And you think you're something cuz you've got the hang of breaking hearts.
You do it all so slowly, so dearly..
... do you even care.?
I want to see what you really got.
I want you to open me up, cut me up.
I'll be the rapunzel who hangs herself with her own hair.
lonely, lonely.. oh, so lonely
summer, heat, dread.
I feel so alone,
alone, alone, alone
mentally, physically, emotionally.
Someone save me, yer not here.
You're not here.
you dont care.
Could you blame me.?(well, I know I do)
And you're not here, so your blame has no matter.
Im the fault of this.
And I love the mess.
lonely, lonely, oh, so lonely
Friday, June 12, 2009 7:38:56 PM
I found I was right with myself at last. After such a long wait.. I found calmness out of the choas of the situation.
The situation.. that I was drowning.
Water, so calm so relaxing... touched me with it's grip, I allowed it with all of its strength. It didnt bother me. I felt that I was suppost to be there, not breathing.. The only time I've felt that I was suppost to be.
Now tell me, what's wrong with drowning.?
And I was sufficationg with situations all around me, out of the water, lost in life.. drowning with life, until I found this way out, the water. It can hold me. Under the surface, I felt alright, just fine... perfect. in the water.. I need it now. I need it back now, in my lungs, I can breathe in life aslong as Im face down under.
Under- I felt a feeling that made me believe that you were right there, that there was more to this than what I've made it out for but..
I knew I had to face it sometime, face life, I had to leave the water when I wanted so desperately not too, but I did.. and it all changed, I was drowning again, in this out of place stage. relaxation gone.
Disconnected and alone.
It was all lie.