How to get the cops to work for you
Tuesday, September 7, 2010 11:50:37 PM
'n Boer maak 'n plan
Hello, is this the South African Police?"
"Yes. What you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga inside his firewood."
"Eeeh-Yes...Thank you for your co-operation and information in combating crime and violence, in our society"
The next day, the SAP descends on Hendrik's house They search the braai lapa where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they chop open every piece of wood, but find no dagga. They shout and swear at Hendrik and leave.
The phone rings at Hendrik's house.
"Hey, Hendrik! Did the SAP come?"
"Did they chop your firewood for the braai tonight?"
"Happy Birthday Boet!"
» ‘n = a
» Boer = farmer
» maak = make(s)
» maar = but
» Coloured = person of mixed birth, half white/half black.
‘n Boer maak ‘n plan, maar ‘n Coloured maak MAGIC
An old man lived alone in Cape Town. He wanted to spade his potato patch but it was very hard work. His only son, Clemence, who used to help him, was in Polsmoor Prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
“Dear Clemence, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potatoes this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Pa“
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
“Dear Pa, For heaven’s sake, Papa, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the BODIES. Love Clemence“
At 4 A.M. the next morning, the Scorpion Unit, NIA agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area. They did not find a single body. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son:
“Dear Pa, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Clemence.”