Now I am Chinese

Monday, 30. June 2008, 11:31:45

I hereby declare myself to be Chinese. For legal reasons, I have, until now, been known as British. However, the truth is that I am, genetically, culturally, spiritually, and in all other ways, a member of the race of the Middle Kingdom, most ancient and populous of all races on Earth, if a race is conceived from a cultural rather than a racial point of view.

Thusly claiming my heritage I hope henceforth to wield such powers as my position as a Chinese person entitles me to. These include - knowledge of all the meanings and mystical sources of any and all texts written in the Chinese script, absolute understanding of the philosophy of Tao, an authentic nostalgia connected with the "long blue mosses" that cling to the "hanging cliffs" wherein is located the Cave of Slanting Moon and Three Stars, superlative skill in all forms of Chinese cuisine, immortality, etc.

These powers may take a little while to come into effect, but that is merely an administrative problem. I am now officially Chinese, and expect to find myself daily more aware of the ways in which my inheritance is enriching my life.

Pupil, 2: Buckroyd, 27Now I was already Chinese

Comments

Justin Isis writes:

Chinese People = Asian = MYSTIC FLYING IMMORTALS.

By anonymous user, # 30. June 2008, 12:29:54

Yes, I know. I got carried away. But those are the parts of the identity to which I am most laying claim. Besides, I am Chinese, and I can therefore define Chineseness in any terms I like, and I just happen to have used the stereotypes that interest me here.

For instance, with my erstwhile British identity, the stereotypes that I was using to prop up the illusion were having bad teeth, being sexually repressed, and being very pale.

...

Okay, you have shamed me into changing this. I will give it some thought.

By quentinscrisp, # 30. June 2008, 12:39:40

that is interesting!

By b_laudanum, # 30. June 2008, 12:45:29

Justin Isis writes:

I wasn't trying to suggest that you change it. I think having flying immortal power is actually awesome. To the best of my knowledge, no other people besides Chinese people have invented Wu Xia. Unless there's some kind of Vietnamese VIET XIA or something.

By anonymous user, # 30. June 2008, 12:56:11

Peter A Leonard writes:

I love sweet and sour prawn balls from my local Chinese restaurant. I also love to cheer on Dr Fu Manchu, that typically inscrutable “heathen Chinee” while wishing nothing but ill on that obvious poofter Nayland Smith! Ah, how I envy that all powerful oriental potentate, Fu Manchu, with his “green eyes” like “an emanation from Hell”. How I wish that I could be him!

Perhaps I can be?

In future, I am Dr Fu Manchu!

I suspect, also, I may be Po Chu-I ( or rather a reincarnation of same), that famous poet of the T’ang Dynasty whose works contains a strong satiric vein. If I’m correct, there should be a shed-load of outstanding royalty payments coming my way some time soon!

Kind regards

Fu

By anonymous user, # 30. June 2008, 13:05:51

By anonymous user, # 30. June 2008, 13:05:54

"that is interesting!"

Thank you.

"I wasn't trying to suggest that you change it. I think having flying immortal power is actually awesome. To the best of my knowledge, no other people besides Chinese people have invented Wu Xia. Unless there's some kind of Vietnamese VIET XIA or something."

I thought it was pretty awesome, too, but I experienced a sudden turbulence in my Chinese identity for a moment at the thought that I was merely a Chinese stereotype. Hopefully the turbulence will pass, and my flying powers will develop naturally with all the awesome harmony of the Tao.

By quentinscrisp, # 30. June 2008, 13:06:14

"Perhaps I can be?

In future, I am Dr Fu Manchu!"

I suspect that, in some way that I haven't yet come to understand, we are all secretly Chinese. It could be that, not only in the future, but in some cryptic way, also in the present, you are actually Fu Manchu.

I think one key to a full inheritance of one's Chinese identity is patience.

By quentinscrisp, # 30. June 2008, 13:13:57

Justin Isis writes:

HOLY SHIT

Everyone must check this out

http://www.chintalks.blogspot.com/

Frank Chin is concerned with the nature of Chinese identity.

I want to find some way to interview him or ask him about Chinese identity or what it means. I'll probably e-mail him soon.

By anonymous user, # 30. June 2008, 13:40:33

The final places are falling into piece.

By quentinscrisp, # 30. June 2008, 13:44:40

Justin Isis writes:

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~hist32/History/S08%20-%20Maxine%20Hong%20Kingston%20-%20Frank%20Chin%20Debate.htm

Holy fucking shit

"Here, we offer a literary history of Chinese American and Japanese American writing concerning the real and the fake. We describe the real, from its sources in the Asian fairy tale and the Confucian heroic tradition, to make the work of these Asian American writers understandable in its own terms. We describe the fake- from its sources in Christian dogma and in Western philosophy, history, and literature- to make it clear why the more popularly known writers such as Jade Snow Wong, Maxine Hong Kingston, David Henry Hwang, Amy Tan, and Lin Yutang are not represented here. Their work is not hard to find. The writers of the real are very hard to find . . . "

This is hardcore, unironic Asian authenticity

Also, I could have sworn that "Jade Snow Wong" was a flavor of bubble tea.

By anonymous user, # 30. June 2008, 14:18:53

This just goes to show that I'm about as authentically Chinese as you can get. And I'm a writer of the real. It is, indeed, very hard to find me. I often lose myself - for hours at a time.

As far as the Japanese British writer Kazuo Ishiguro is concerned, you can tell he's not a real Japanese by the fact that his name, on Japanese translations of his work, is written in katakana. People come up to me, daily, with nothing better to do, and say, "Oh yeah, I read some Japanese literature - that Ishiguro guy." I laugh in their faces.

By quentinscrisp, # 30. June 2008, 15:50:32

You want to be Chinese? First thing first, put aside your beloved Japanese teapots simply because you love them so very much. Make a statement at the end of that teapot post after you have embraced two Chinese teapots.

By solid copper, # 2. July 2008, 10:53:51

Well, I do have a Chinese teapot, somewhere. It was given to me, very kindly, by a certain Mr. Wang, who was my landlord while I was in Taiwan. Unfortunately, it got a little damaged on the journey back to Britain. It still pours perfectly well, but the spout is a little chipped. I seem to be having very bad luck with my teapots. I accidentally trod on and broke another of them just the other day. It's been glued back together, but there are still pieces missing. I even managed to drop my most prized teapot ever, which is a four-spouted Japanese Hohin. I'm hoping one day to meet a master teapot craftsperson, who will fill in the cracks with molten gold and make them better than new.

But perhaps you're right. In order to fully emphasise my authenticity, I might need to swap this kind of thing, for this kind of thing.

I do have some knowledge of Chinese tea. This kind of tea, at this kind of place. I'm feeling all misty-eyed now. I also very much liked the idea of the vessels I was told were called 'wen xiang bei'. Ah, I've found it. 闻香杯. Or possibly 盃.

Maybe I should look upon my breakages as an opportunity to invest in a splendid Chinese set of red and gold.

Hey, this is my dobin!!! Someone else has my beloved dobin! Well, I shouldn't be surprised. It was only a cheap one.

That link didn't seem to work. This:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/46/Kyusu_by_Ilpo's_Sojourn_in_Kyoto.jpg/800px-Kyusu_by_Ilpo's_Sojourn_in_Kyoto.jpg

By quentinscrisp, # 2. July 2008, 11:50:40

Thank you for the delightful response. I enjoyed all the links provided. In Wen Xiang Bei, Bei means cup, Xiang means fragrance or aroma, Wen means to smell.

By solid copper, # 3. July 2008, 13:13:17

Well, thank you for reading.

I like funny little words like 'wenxiangbei'.

I can't think of any good examples at the moment. Oh, hang on - in Japanese there's a word 'hoya', which refers to the glass bit of a gas/paraffin lamp. I want to learn more languages, so I can know more of these quirky little words.

By quentinscrisp, # 8. July 2008, 23:05:52