The Life of Radostsguy

To answer Salmondine's question about getting my nose shot off, almost, it happened like this.

First, the geography of the area where the UNEF was serving. You all know about the Gaza Strip. Basically, the border between Egypt and Israel runs north and south from just south of the Med down to a point which separates the Red Sea from the Gulf of Aquaba. The Strip is supposed to be Palestinian Lands, and I'm sure you know the whole ugly story! Basicaly, where the border meets the corner of the Gaza strip and starts to run East, is the Egyptian City of Rafah. That's where many of the UNEF units were HQ'd, including the Canadian Squadron. East of Rafah is the border between Egypt and Palestine, and the main city of Gaza is east of that. To the west of Rafah, perhaps 40 km, is the city of Al Arish, where the big airport that served the UNEF was located, largely run at the time by the RCAF. (This was back in the Good Old Days when Canada was a respected Middle Power and had strong Armed Forces for her size.)

One evening, the officers of our squadron were invited to a Mess Dinner at the RCAF Officer's Mess in Al Arish. The querstion was "Who's going to drive the car with the Subalterns?" (God, that is the Squadron Commander, rank Major, and the Assistant Gods, Captains, had a nice Limo of course!) The subalterns, Lt's, had a nice corrugated Iron Citroen for their use. Remember those, you elders? They had about a three HP engine, would do about 50 km/hr with a tail wind, and made the East German Trabant look like a miraculous piece of engineering!

So it was my turn to drive, and thus stay sober! And we meant that too! In dangerous lands, if you are told to remain sober, you remain sober, or else! So off we went about 19:00. Arrrived for a splendid meal (The Brits and the British style Armed Forces know how to do that! Any Sergeant-Major from the Canadian Army Service Corps "feeding" units, can walk into any fine restaurant in Canada after retiring, and have a job as a Master Chef, no questions asked!)

After the meal, the drinking started in earnest. The lads in the RCAF had the worst reputation for that. And here I was drinking Coke and coffee! Oh well.

At about 03:00, God decided that it was time to get back to Rafah, since He and I were flying the next morning down to Sharm el Sheik, at the south tip of the Sinai Paeninsula. Just as we were leaving, I noticed a young Flight Lt passed out on the couch, comatose! So we boarded our Citroen, and away we went!

Scattered throughout the Sinai Peninsual part of Egypt, there were outposts of the PLO, the invention of the late Yassar Arafat. They put up roadblocks here and there along the main roads in order to check for Israeli Intelligence Operatives (Mossad) and other unsavoury characters, ar least to them. That's why it was vital that we always carried our UN ID Cards with us, even while in uniform. Anybody can make phoney uniforms, or steal real ones!

So I got the Citroen out onto the mail highway that runs from Al Arish to Gaza City, pput the pedal to the floor, and away we went, a little faster than a recalcitrant mule. As always, some drunk decided to sing, and the others joined in heartily. Then, at one point, they decided to sing "Hava Nagila!" (sp?)

So here we were, deep in Islamic Egypt, with PLO guys everywhere, in the worse time of all in the Middle East, at least up to the Bush Slaughters, and my buddies were singing an old Jewish Folk Song at the top of their lungs! Suddenly ahead, there was a light in the middle of the road, and I gave the Citroen full reverse thrust. She shuddered to a halt about a cm from a roadblock made of oil barrels and other such stuff, and a man appeared beside the driver's side window, along with a screeching of Arabic by what sounded like a million men! My stupid buddies were still singing, unaware of what was happening, I suppose, so I screamed to them, "Shut the F*** Up! We've got a problem here!" They did. So I unrolled the driver's window, and then found myself staring down the barrel of an AK-47! Oops. The thought crossed my mind, "Too bad we weren't singing, "Oh Canada!" I slowly lifted my eyes, and then, even scarier than the 47 itself, I saw that it was borne by a kid who looked about 14, and was obviously ten times more scared than I was! I said in a low voice, "Get your UN ID's out, lads!"

The kid was talking to me loudly in Arabic, at the speed of a Mauser Machine Gun. The only Arabic I could remember at the time, I spoke: "Svie chai, mafudlik!" ("Two teas, please!" Interesting that the word for "two" is the same in Arabic and German! Of course, the word for "tea", "chai", is the same in Hindi, Urdu, Farsi, Arabic, and Slavonic, to give a short list. Change the "ch" to "t", and we have the Mandarin "tai", and then the "ai" to "ea", and we have the English!) Fortunately, the Arabic People seem to have a great sense of humour, like their Semitic Jewish relatives, and I saw his face turn soft, and then he flashed a mouth full of gleaming white teeth. But just then, an Officer came up, and said some Arabic to the kid, who dropped the 47 to his side, although the Officer did have his pistol at the ready, I noticed, and he said to me in excellent English, and most politely, "Your UN ID's please!" (The Citroen was painted white with the big UN letters on the doors, and we were, after all, in Canadian Army Dress Uniforms!) We showed our ID's, he examined them, and said something in Arabic. They moved some of the oil drums so we could get through, and then said to me in English, "All is in order! Have a nice evening!" Whew!

The next morning, after breakfast in the Officers' Mess, God and I took his jeep out to the salt flat near our base in Rafah. It was easier for the RCAF to pick us up there rather than having us drive all the way to Al Arish. Soon, a dot appeared in the sky, and slowly turned into a Twin Otter of the RCAF Air Transport Command. She landed and we clambered into the back seat. The pilot turned and looked at us, and said, "Good morning, gentlemen!" I was thunderstruck! He was the same one who was comatose on the couch a mere five hours ago! I was filled with fear this time! Far more than the night before! The flight went across the Sinai all the way. But about 100 km south of the Med, the peninsula starts to look like the back side of the moon! Desolate mountains in which nothing could survive for any length of time, except a few hearty bugs! No water at all, and standard temperatures exceeding 50 C! If an aircraft crashed there and the crash didn't kill you, you might live for about half a day unless you were found and rescued. But we made if, obviously. Sharm al Sheik was a tiny little place, a few wooden buildings and a bunch of goats. Now, the Egyptians have turned it into a fine Tourist Resort, complete with huge hotels, etc. They are advertised on TV. And no wonder! The Red Sea at that point is delightful. The water is so clear that you can snorkel along the surface and clearly see right to the bottom, even where it's 50 metres deep. A Scuba Diver's Paradise! I know, I did it while there!

So what is my take oon the so-called "Middle East Conflict?" That's the one between the Israelis and the Palestinians, although there are now others, thanks to the Expansion of the American Empire. Well, both sides have their points. But sides can be a-holes, both sides can be good guys. What about the so-called "Road Map to Peace?" Laughable! It, like all other so-called "Peace Accords" that have been tried in the past, doesn't take into account the plight of three million Palestinians living in the Refugee Camps! Unless that is dealt with, there can be no peace! Just as in Chechnya, as long as the Russians keep up their "Blow Them to Bits until there's Peace" Policy, any so-called Peace will only last for a few years. The root problems remain. A so-called "End to Violence" means nothing. It's only temporary at best. Many stupid Politicos think that "Peace" means "End of Problem!" No way! Did Peace in 1918 mean no WW2? "End of Problem" comes with "Just and Honourable Solution!" As long as the Refugee Camps remain, there is no Just Solution!

What about the claim made by many Muslims that the West is totally biased in favour of the Israelis? Damned right they are! How can they have a policy of a "Nuclear Free Middle East" and bomb any Islamic Country to bits if they even think they have a Nuclear Weapons Program, yet at the same time, turn a blind eye to Israel's arsenal of some 200-400 Nuclear Warheads? Yep! That's bias alright!

Will we see a real solution in our lifetimes? Doubtful. Ever? Maybe not!