How to start a conversation with someone
Thursday, 4. October 2007, 01:19:18
Starting to talk to someone can be very hard.Someone you've never spoken to before can seem big and scary.Here are ways of getting people talking I figured out.
Be polite
If u want people2 like u and want to get 2 know u,politeness helps a lot. I'm not saying u should suck up 2 them, but treat them with respect.There's a trend for being rude these days that come from movies & TV. It's fun to watch, but that's not how the real world works. When Clint Eastwood is rude & nasty, it's fascinating-when you're rude or nasty, you're just someone who's not worth having anything to do with.Everyone knows what you're supposed to do to be polite-put it in practice and you'll go far with making new friends.
If it's someone you've seen before, say "hello"
It's amazing how many people will be in the same office,school or on the same bus for years & never speak. Simply say "hi" to a person u see regularly & you'll move from being a stranger towards being a friend.
Practice shy confidence
While shyness & confidence are obviously opposites,u can mix them in opening conversation to great effect.Be confident in forcing yourself to speak 2 the person in question, but be shy as in letting them know that u respect them enough to worry about their reply.Most people will either try to bowl the other person with their confidence,thus putting them off,or never speak to them in the 1st place.
The trick is to combine the 2 approaches.Simply speaking up with a quite"How are you?" will break the ice.Then continue with shy respectful conversation.Most people aren't mean enough to reject a politely shy approach.
Ask questions
This is old technique,but works well. As u don't know the person very well, u don't want to pry into anything too personal to begin with.Just keep it friendly and respectful,don't go into interrogation mode. Look for something about them to ask which is likely to receive more than just a yes or no answer - "I like your watch, where did u get it?", "Are u guys busy up there at the moment?", "Do u work in the city?", "Did u watch the tennis last night?".
What u really looking for is something u have in common u can lever a conversation from. Here's example of man starting conversation with woman at work.
Frank: Hi there, how's it going?
Mary: Fine thanks.
Frank: Your team seems pretty busy these days. I've seen u all flashing around like a Mercedes Tail Light.
Mary: Yeah, we've got the auditors in at the moment.
Frank: Oh, I think they're coming our way next. They're being difficult are they?
Mary: u wouldn't believe it. I've been here until eight every night this week.
Frank: That's no good. Any advice for getting ready for them?
Don't worry too much if someone isn't immediately friendly back to u
Everyone gets nervous when talking to someone they don't know well. Sometimes we react badly even if we don't mean to.If someone is a bit blunt with u, acts strangely, or seems disinterested the first couple of times u speak to them, don't worry too much.They're probably just nervous and need to get used to the idea that you're just being friendly. Give them a bit of space and time to think it over and often they'll come around.You'll be surprised how often such people soon earn respect for you when u continue being friendly with them.
Not everyone is interested in being your friend.Some people are never going to be your friend no matter how hard u try.That's just their loss.They probably like that with almost everyone anyway, so don't take it personally.If someone is always rude to u when you're trying 2 be nice, just shrug your shoulders and move on.While it may be tempting 2 get revenge, it often isn't even worth doing so.Rude people usually don't get ahead in their personal relationships.Their nastiness is probably much more damaging to themselves.
Be polite
If u want people2 like u and want to get 2 know u,politeness helps a lot. I'm not saying u should suck up 2 them, but treat them with respect.There's a trend for being rude these days that come from movies & TV. It's fun to watch, but that's not how the real world works. When Clint Eastwood is rude & nasty, it's fascinating-when you're rude or nasty, you're just someone who's not worth having anything to do with.Everyone knows what you're supposed to do to be polite-put it in practice and you'll go far with making new friends.
If it's someone you've seen before, say "hello"
It's amazing how many people will be in the same office,school or on the same bus for years & never speak. Simply say "hi" to a person u see regularly & you'll move from being a stranger towards being a friend.
Practice shy confidence
While shyness & confidence are obviously opposites,u can mix them in opening conversation to great effect.Be confident in forcing yourself to speak 2 the person in question, but be shy as in letting them know that u respect them enough to worry about their reply.Most people will either try to bowl the other person with their confidence,thus putting them off,or never speak to them in the 1st place.
The trick is to combine the 2 approaches.Simply speaking up with a quite"How are you?" will break the ice.Then continue with shy respectful conversation.Most people aren't mean enough to reject a politely shy approach.
Ask questions
This is old technique,but works well. As u don't know the person very well, u don't want to pry into anything too personal to begin with.Just keep it friendly and respectful,don't go into interrogation mode. Look for something about them to ask which is likely to receive more than just a yes or no answer - "I like your watch, where did u get it?", "Are u guys busy up there at the moment?", "Do u work in the city?", "Did u watch the tennis last night?".
What u really looking for is something u have in common u can lever a conversation from. Here's example of man starting conversation with woman at work.
Frank: Hi there, how's it going?
Mary: Fine thanks.
Frank: Your team seems pretty busy these days. I've seen u all flashing around like a Mercedes Tail Light.
Mary: Yeah, we've got the auditors in at the moment.
Frank: Oh, I think they're coming our way next. They're being difficult are they?
Mary: u wouldn't believe it. I've been here until eight every night this week.
Frank: That's no good. Any advice for getting ready for them?
Don't worry too much if someone isn't immediately friendly back to u
Everyone gets nervous when talking to someone they don't know well. Sometimes we react badly even if we don't mean to.If someone is a bit blunt with u, acts strangely, or seems disinterested the first couple of times u speak to them, don't worry too much.They're probably just nervous and need to get used to the idea that you're just being friendly. Give them a bit of space and time to think it over and often they'll come around.You'll be surprised how often such people soon earn respect for you when u continue being friendly with them.
Not everyone is interested in being your friend.Some people are never going to be your friend no matter how hard u try.That's just their loss.They probably like that with almost everyone anyway, so don't take it personally.If someone is always rude to u when you're trying 2 be nice, just shrug your shoulders and move on.While it may be tempting 2 get revenge, it often isn't even worth doing so.Rude people usually don't get ahead in their personal relationships.Their nastiness is probably much more damaging to themselves.








